Questions from a single Dad
- Thread starter ChefJoe
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(In the voice of Droopy Dog)
Hello Joe!
Howdy ChefJoe and welcome to the forum.
She's gonna think you're crazy. That's natural. Christians do stuff that looks crazy because it goes directly against what most people think is most important.
Also, when you do a quick turnaround and say you now believe something completely different, it can cause people to think you have flipped out. The word "cult" might start being used a lot.
About the only things you can do for your daughter are pray for her and live a good life in front of her. She might go the rest of her whole life thinking you're crazy. But preaching at her more will only push her further away. It hurts, but from what I have seen (over and over and over) that's the way it seems to work.
I know the main reason I respect my dad is not because of anything he said but how he lived. When my mother cheated on him, divorced him and talked all kinds of hateful about him, he always acted with honor. He never ran her down. He always took care of his responsibilities like a man. He did what he should and didn't do what he shouldn't, because he cared more about us than about his own pride.
But I didn't figure all that out until I was an adult. No idea how he dealt with his son thinking he was a skunk while I was a kid.
As a retired chef myself...
Tell her that you love her. And that you love her more. That you aren't going to ask her to shave her head and drink kool-aid.
That once you were just like her...but now that you have gotten older you understand more, love more, and respect more.
That as your daughter she might not necessarily believe now...but the disrespect needs to stop. It is not going to serve her well in the future. Then give her another hug.
Faith in Jesus is yes, to save your soul but it's so much more than that. It's the same life but with a different purpose and perspective. It's about doing the "of course" things because God said to when no other logic you can fathom tells you to. Because it's about being kind, generous, and respectful towards others....especially the most annoying group of all....AKA: fellow Christians.
There are "givers" and "takers" in this world....you want to be a giver because it's a lot less miserable than being a taker. You want the same thing for her. Tell her that. She isn't the toddler anymore....you can't order her about and expect her to tow the line. She has friends who she listens to more than you.
Tell her that you love her. And that you love her more. That you aren't going to ask her to shave her head and drink kool-aid.
That once you were just like her...but now that you have gotten older you understand more, love more, and respect more.
That as your daughter she might not necessarily believe now...but the disrespect needs to stop. It is not going to serve her well in the future. Then give her another hug.
Faith in Jesus is yes, to save your soul but it's so much more than that. It's the same life but with a different purpose and perspective. It's about doing the "of course" things because God said to when no other logic you can fathom tells you to. Because it's about being kind, generous, and respectful towards others....especially the most annoying group of all....AKA: fellow Christians.
There are "givers" and "takers" in this world....you want to be a giver because it's a lot less miserable than being a taker. You want the same thing for her. Tell her that. She isn't the toddler anymore....you can't order her about and expect her to tow the line. She has friends who she listens to more than you.
Do you ever get the feeling
People think you're shallow
When you change what you believe
Do you ever get the feeling
People think you're crazy
When you trust what they can't see
Well I'm not here to argue
About what others think and feel
But I'm not ashamed to tell anyone
What I know to be real
I'm serious
About the stance I'm taking
Serious
About the choice I'm making
Serious
About the things that I believe
https://app.box.com/s/avk1x1z23ryvhbz60bun8shzr920bmxo
(I can't find this song ANYWHERE online, but it fits the thread so well that I actually went and dug up my old box.com account.)
(If anyone knows who sang this song, please tell me.)
People think you're shallow
When you change what you believe
Do you ever get the feeling
People think you're crazy
When you trust what they can't see
Well I'm not here to argue
About what others think and feel
But I'm not ashamed to tell anyone
What I know to be real
I'm serious
About the stance I'm taking
Serious
About the choice I'm making
Serious
About the things that I believe
https://app.box.com/s/avk1x1z23ryvhbz60bun8shzr920bmxo
(I can't find this song ANYWHERE online, but it fits the thread so well that I actually went and dug up my old box.com account.)
(If anyone knows who sang this song, please tell me.)
R
Ruby123
Guest
I saw this the other week on you tube. It may encourage you. Goes for half an hour. Although it may not be as extreme as your circumstances I am sure you will be encouraged by it. His mothers prayers for his salvation eventually changed his life.
I have 2 boys myself.
Don‘t come too hard on teenagers on anything because their default nature is rebellious so you need to do small baby steps and just love them, that’s how they become more receptive.
I am so grateful for this information, I can’t thank you all enough!! Through my workday I’ll be asking questions about the Rapture. Starting with this one…. My eyes were opened to start to investigate what the term Rapture meant. It sounded like God was coming back with a vengeance and fiery hell shooting from his fists. ( that’s just me. But understanding he will be taking the chosen to meet in the sky, in the wkly of an eye…amazing! So, with all the signs of evil happening in this world, how can people not believe in Christ and the Rapture. Hw can people keep den Him and feel “This is as good as it gets?” And second, the antichrist, I believe is here. When A.I. Is taking over, and one world currency is here, Bitcoin, these are all the signs. Some of the worlds most powerful men are trying to escape to Mars! Coincidence? I think not.
Welcome, ChefJoe...
A few thoughts: firstly, "Senior Member" only means that the person has been around CC for a long time and has been active. It doesn't mean the person is mature in Christ, or even a Christian at all... unfortunately.
As for your daughter, others have given you good input. I will mention that many Catholic beliefs are inconsistent with the truth of the Bible, but helping a Catholic understand that is an uphill battle unless the Holy Spirit is actively working to set them free from the errors. Take it slowly.
Also, your primary witness with your daughter will likely not be the truth you share, but the life you live. Invite the Holy Spirit to change you from the inside. As you begin to show the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23), she will notice the changes, but don't try to point anything out. Rather, just let her observe, and treat her with patience, gentleness, and respect. Answer any questions she has, but don't try to force the subject as that will drive her farther away. As for her insults and criticisms, let them roll off your back; Jesus was insulted too. Sharing in the humiliation that He received is no shame for the believer.
A few thoughts: firstly, "Senior Member" only means that the person has been around CC for a long time and has been active. It doesn't mean the person is mature in Christ, or even a Christian at all... unfortunately.
As for your daughter, others have given you good input. I will mention that many Catholic beliefs are inconsistent with the truth of the Bible, but helping a Catholic understand that is an uphill battle unless the Holy Spirit is actively working to set them free from the errors. Take it slowly.
Also, your primary witness with your daughter will likely not be the truth you share, but the life you live. Invite the Holy Spirit to change you from the inside. As you begin to show the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23), she will notice the changes, but don't try to point anything out. Rather, just let her observe, and treat her with patience, gentleness, and respect. Answer any questions she has, but don't try to force the subject as that will drive her farther away. As for her insults and criticisms, let them roll off your back; Jesus was insulted too. Sharing in the humiliation that He received is no shame for the believer.
Welcome, ChefJoe...
A few thoughts: firstly, "Senior Member" only means that the person has been around CC for a long time and has been active. It doesn't mean the person is mature in Christ, or even a Christian at all... unfortunately.
As for your daughter, others have given you good input. I will mention that many Catholic beliefs are inconsistent with the truth of the Bible, but helping a Catholic understand that is an uphill battle unless the Holy Spirit is actively working to set them free from the errors. Take it slowly.
Also, your primary witness with your daughter will likely not be the truth you share, but the life you live. Invite the Holy Spirit to change you from the inside. As you begin to show the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23), she will notice the changes, but don't try to point anything out. Rather, just let her observe, and treat her with patience, gentleness, and respect. Answer any questions she has, but don't try to force the subject as that will drive her farther away. As for her insults and criticisms, let them roll off your back; Jesus was insulted too. Sharing in the humiliation that He received is no shame for the believer.
Thank you Dino!! Excellent words of encouragement!! And I totally agree, I came on way to strong. I just feel I am short on time.
just a quick question, does your daughter have a bible of her own? If she is curious maybe she will start reading it? For myself, it is then while reading that I finally saw the truth. also the rapture is not an easy topic, she might see this as fiction. I think that she needs to learn the basics first about Jesus in the New testament.
Blessings and welcome.
Hello! She doesn’t. She is the typical teenager, loves sports, socializing, all around great girl…but has no interest in faith, Jesus Christ or Christians. She tells me she prays all the time, and I commend her always for that. I just want to take it further in her beliefs, I now know it will take time.
You might get her to watch something like the Narnia Chronicles movies....they are going to be fun for a 15yo girl....
It's an introduction to some of the more important aspects of Christianity without being "preachy" or lecturing. The books themselves are great but the movies are fun for people who don't like to read so much.
I know that you are all caught up in the "Rapture Theology" that is being discussed....but truthfully it's more of a "final exam" of sorts for comprehending scripture....IOW it's for after you understand the rest....which requires years of study. There's formulas to prophesy in its telling and being understood.
I could go on for days about how people have committed folly after folly from misunderstanding scriptures. Even Christopher Columbus was positive that the end of the world was at hand. 500+ years ago. Just saying....the seventh day Adventists are reformulated Millerites that sold everything they had, gave away the money and sat in an open field waiting for the rapture. (That's how sure they were)
Hermeneutics (understanding scripures) is a blend of science and art applied to what you read translated into the worst receptor language in human history out of donor languages which are some of the most metaphorical languages in human history.
None of the scriptures were written for the westernized mindset. They had a caste based society the entire time the scriptures were written. They also had a agricultural/commodity based economy....not a fiat monetary system and credit economy like we have today. We today really don't understand the anthropology of that time period....and it requires time to understand.
You didn't learn "Chef-ing" in a few months....it took years to learn to order food, run a staff, keep books and prep food. Schedules, menu mix, customer counts....what these things mean to you are not the same as they do to patrons but patrons only think they do.
Start with the basics with your daughter and yourself. It will be gooder for longer.
What? It's worth a shot.
If you got a better idea, now is a really good time.
How can a fairie tale replace truth? Same as the santa claus lies for children, people of any age need the truth how can narnia replace scripture, i suggests reading the 4 books of the new tesrtament. If she is called she will read it but she needs to have access to a bible not narnia books or movie.
Do you have any children raised outside the church? Ever SUCCESSFULLY evangelized anyone that has almost zero Christian teachings?
I have many times....and it doesn't happen in a day or a week. It takes months and years...living the life and being consistently good, kind, and respectful. Not shoving a firehose down their throat turning it on full blast and expecting them to drink and thank you for the experience. We use firehoses for crowd control during riots....not for teaching.
It's not magic or supernatural. Leading a horse to water when he is soaking wet and tired from a river crossing isn't going to work. That horse is going to fight you the whole way and if it can get away from you it will.
Permanent life changes is a new way of walking....because it is a walk. Not a microwave meal....more like pot roast or barbecue....it takes a while.
You both are completely correct, it’s all about understanding God, and if is the strict, stern method or the gentle, longing method, both are correct. As long as his word is truth and understood!
You know your child we posting here dont. God gave your child you for a dad you can do this. Some kids do well on a hug others need a 2by4.