Do you believe in the LORD Jesus Christ? His Gospel, His death and resurrection?
If you do, then you believe that His life was sacrifice to cover every sin you have and ever will commit. You have no guilt. Your guilt was covered by His sacrifice on the cross. Shame is a wicked lie, it keeps you from knowing the love that God has for you. Shame is fear. It is the fear that punishment awaits you for the wrongs you believe to have done. But no punishment will be given to the children of God.
The world saw perfection and rather than believe perfection, it struck Him down and brutally murdered Him. If the world does this to perfection then what chance does anything less have? Not much, unless you realise that the very same perfection rose up, defeated that death, defeated all the sins and destroyed it forever. And through faith and by God, that perfection can reside in you.
If you believe the LORD Jesus Christ, then you believe in the one who sent Him. Since you believe this, you have received the Holy Spirit. Since you have received the Holy Spirit, you are a temple of God. God and all His power resides in you. Your power to overcome is within.
1 John 4:4
Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
You cannot run from God, because He follows you to make sure you are protected, because you are loved, so much more than you sadly realise right now. Deserving love is the wrong way to look at it, because its based on a lie. That lie is that the love must be some how earned, but that is not so. When a baby is born, does it have to earn the love that is instantly poured on to it? The love the LORD has for you is unconditional and perfect, because you are NOT your mistakes. You are NOT your sins.
Forgive yourself because the one who truly decides the fate of all has forgiven you. And once you forgive yourself, you will know I AM innocent.