Relationship/Marriage taking time away from God. Good or bad?

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1still_waters

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I'll often hear Christians, in a serious relationship/marriage, putting themselves in this box, where they feel as if they have to choose between being in a relationship/marriage or being totally focussed on God.

Often you'll hear them say something like, "This person is taking my time away from God. I don't spend as much time with God as I used to. I think I should not be in this relationship because of this."

So basically Christians put themselves in this predicament where it's either the relationship or God. They feel guilt because it takes away from God and they feel guilt because they can't have both.

Here's the question. More of a rhetorical one.

Do Christians need to be putting themselves in this box?

My answer is no!

I don't think we have to put ourselves in this God vs relationship box.

Paul clearly said that those who get married, will in fact, spend much of their effort, investing it in to the marriage/relationship and not as focussed on God, as when they were single.

This is just the nature of the beast. Being in marriage/relationship DOES take some of your time from God and gives it to another. This really isn't listed as a sin.

It's not like letting cars, or tv or sports or whatever take your time from God.

There seems to be some allowance for 'cluttering' your time with another person.

As I'm typing this, I'm realizing that anything in life should have its proper place, so maybe this doesn't just apply to the marriage/relationship thing. But instead of deleting, I'll just click submit and see what comes of this.
 
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Being in a marriage changes how you spend time with God, I think. There's more team activities lol

Like I pray with my husband. I still pray on my own, but we also pray together. We also discuss the Bible and God and just anything that comes up. It's a different relationship with God because my husband is in it and it's a different relationship with my husband because God is in it.

You're right though, Paul says relationships can be a distraction. I don't think that was to deride marriage as much as promote celibacy. It's often overlooked as a lifestyle, but both Paul and Jesus chose that life. Since I'm married, I look at the celibate life and think 'that would be nice' lol I think for everyone though, celibate, married or single and looking- there are a lot of distractions in this world. Your relationships should enhance your spiritual life, not take away. I'd be less inclined to kick a friend or boyfriend to the curb and more inclined to turn off my cell phone, tv and computer if I felt like I was slipping away from the Lord.
 
Thats why they call it "marriage". Because its a holy, blessed pact between two people to devote themselves to each other, to take care of each other til death. No longer is God the only one that you are devoted to, and God understands this. He knows that people and relationships need a lot of attention and care.
 
As human beings (single or married) we need to have a vertical (personal relationship with God) and horizontal relationship (relationship with fellow human beings).

Some servants of God who are single are too busy serving their fellow human beings and don't have enough time to have a regular personal relationship with God. The same with those who are married. Therefore, marriage life isn't an acceptable excuse for not being able to focus on God. What to be scrutinized here is priority, time management, and also motives.


In addition, we have to recognize our call. If we are trully called to be single for the Kingdom of God, then we should do it wholeheartedly without negleting the horizontal and vertical relationship. But I believe that it doesn't mean that they are considered better or holier than those who are married. Just fulfill our call and let God works wonderfully in our lives, whatever our calls are.


Perhaps someone can explain the meaning of 'focussing on God" elaborately without being too complicated.
 
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Hmm...it can interfere with the amount of time one has to serve the Lord in some ways. On the otherhand, marriage can teach you a great deal about the sort of intimate relationship that Christ wants with His Bride. God can use many circumstances in our marriages as teaching opportunities. Bouncing topics you've discussed in your respective Bible studies can be pretty awesome too; you'll often come away with a different perspective, as men and women tend to see things from different angles. And you have someone to pray WITH you and FOR you.
 
Also, Marriage can bring a sort of absolution to the question of who am I to love forever.

I would prefer to be married before I did anything too crazy so that my Wife could be a part of the craziness, as opposed to feeling like she missed out on all the good parts of my life. Craziness isn't as fun without a full spectrum accomplice either. :)
 
If marriage were somehow an ultimate distraction from serving God or always caused people to fall short of their spiritual potential, I don't believe God would have even created marriage in the first place. After all, when He brought Eve to Adam, He didn't say, "Aw shucks, now you two are going to be so distracted that you'll never have time for Me."

If God knew that was going to be the case, I don't think He would have made such an institution. Of course, like anything else, we humans can get it wrong and then it does become a distraction or hindrance to what God wants for us... If we make the wrong choices, jump the gun, and don't listen to His will in our lives regarding marriage, we most certainly veer off the path that keeps us closest to Him.

But, as was originally posted, I do think marriage is an option (unless God has His own preference as to what He wants for us individually--then, of course, we need to obey His will for our lives.) I really feel discouraged when it sometimes feels like people take sides: "Marriage Vs. Single and Who Can Serve God Best"... Makes me feel like I'm in a WWF ring or something...

It wasn't meant to be an ultimatum or competition... just another way God blesses some of us with companionship.
 
I agree, Kim. :)

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18
 
seoulsearch said:
If marriage were somehow an ultimate distraction from serving God or always caused people to fall short of their spiritual potential, I don't believe God would have even created marriage in the first place. After all, when He brought Eve to Adam, He didn't say, "Aw shucks, now you two are going to be so distracted that you'll never have time for Me."

If God knew that was going to be the case, I don't think He would have made such an institution. Of course, like anything else, we humans can get it wrong and then it does become a distraction or hindrance to what God wants for us... If we make the wrong choices, jump the gun, and don't listen to His will in our lives regarding marriage, we most certainly veer off the path that keeps us closest to Him.

But, as was originally posted, I do think marriage is an option (unless God has His own preference as to what He wants for us individually--then, of course, we need to obey His will for our lives.) I really feel discouraged when it sometimes feels like people take sides: "Marriage Vs. Single and Who Can Serve God Best"... Makes me feel like I'm in a WWF ring or something...

It wasn't meant to be an ultimatum or competition... just another way God blesses some of us with companionship.
Click to expand...


Another example of why most of my post are sarcastic and meaningless.

Some people seem to always have the perfect words and phrasing in their brain, while others, ME, have big head full of words that make no sense.
 
I agree with all of thee above. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I have no more to add. Excellent posts, my friends.
 
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