Remain Single or Mingle?

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ForgivenAndRedeemed

ForgivenAndRedeemed

New member
#1
Jun 7, 2023
24
16
3
#1
I haven’t dated anyone in 7 years. This isn’t how I planned it. I expected to be married by now and have a family of my own. I’m very lonely and long for a relationship, but I also wonder if it would be best for me to remain single. I’ve gotten used to being able to do things my way whenever I want. I’m not sure if I would even do well in a relationship anymore. Does anyone else feel this way?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
28,141
9,925
113
#2
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
I haven’t dated anyone in 7 years. This isn’t how I planned it. I expected to be married by now and have a family of my own. I’m very lonely and long for a relationship, but I also wonder if it would be best for me to remain single. I’ve gotten used to being able to do things my way whenever I want. I’m not sure if I would even do well in a relationship anymore. Does anyone else feel this way?
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Howdy and welcome to the forum.

"Life is what happens while you are making other plans." You can either break yourself fighting it, spend your whole life mourning what you don't have, or just roll with it and see what happens.

Usually that third option is the most interesting and has a LOT less stress. But it seems most people choose option two. I know a few who choose option one, and they are mostly wore out and frustrated because their careful plans get wrecked when life happens.

Remember, you never know what tomorrow will bring. But it can be a great ride.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#3
Aug 13, 2014
28,141
9,925
113
#3
Hmm... I realize I did not directly answer your question. :-/

Do what you want. If you want to start looking for a date, get back out and start dating. Just don't get so wrapped up in "I gotta find someone!" that you lose touch with the rest of your life. Desperation will break you every time, from what I've observed.

But it sure is easier to just take a nap and wait for supper time. :cool:
 
N

Nontypical

New member
#4
Mar 1, 2023
4
2
3
Paducah ky
#4
I'm a half century plus four and myself counting the faithful ones with a partner would be on the plus four side, considering that excludes my "married" years. I find it hard to trust another with my intimate self. I refer to the wise words of Paul."if you find it within your power to be only to GOD then let it be" but better for a man to committed to his own flesh" or to rather say his wife's"than to sin against himself is best.
 
N

NestForASparrow

Member
#5
Feb 10, 2014
142
46
28
#5
My future plans revolve around me living happily alone….more space for me to enjoy my hobbies. I am not opposed to getting married but I also put in zero effort to have that happen either
 
fizzyjoe

fizzyjoe

Well-known member
#6
Oct 22, 2018
568
401
63
#6
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
I haven’t dated anyone in 7 years. This isn’t how I planned it. I expected to be married by now and have a family of my own. I’m very lonely and long for a relationship, but I also wonder if it would be best for me to remain single. I’ve gotten used to being able to do things my way whenever I want. I’m not sure if I would even do well in a relationship anymore. Does anyone else feel this way?
Click to expand...
I myself haven't dated anyone in Ever, loneliness and being scared of real life drove me to search for love online and some will crack your heart like a walnut because they realize such weakness...
I would say remain single until you...
1.have your own life together mentally and financially
2.get to know that special someone and eventually meet in real life(waiting to meet can be an emotional strain)
3.know what you desire in a relationship and don't settle for 1 sidedness both of you should be reasonably happy not trying to change each other so much
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#7
Jul 3, 2015
62,524
31,405
113
#7
fizzyjoe said:
I myself haven't dated anyone in Ever, loneliness and being scared of real life drove me to search for love online and some will crack your heart like a walnut because they realize such weakness...
I would say remain single until you...
1.have your own life together mentally and financially
2.get to know that special someone and eventually meet in real life(waiting to meet can be an emotional strain)
3.know what you desire in a relationship and don't settle for 1 sidedness both of you should be reasonably happy not trying to change each other so much
Click to expand...
Hello Joseph! So lovely to see you again. It sounds like you have been learning some valuable life lessons...
 
Eli1

Eli1

Well-known member
#8
Apr 5, 2022
5,637
2,524
113
47
#8
@Lynx has given sound advice. If you’re able to put that in practice you’ll live a happy live. Be grateful to God for everything that you already have.
 
fizzyjoe

fizzyjoe

Well-known member
#9
Oct 22, 2018
568
401
63
#9
Magenta said:
Hello Joseph! So lovely to see you again. It sounds like you have been learning some valuable life lessons...
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Hi Magenta my friend😀🤗
yes been learning the hard way just yesterday finally let go of a new woman in my life after 3 years who I met online particularly because it was getting to me that we would never meet,I'm 30 now and feel we should both move on and be happy instead of kidding ourselves😀
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#10
Jul 3, 2015
62,524
31,405
113
#10
fizzyjoe said:
Hi Magenta my friend😀🤗
yes been learning the hard way just yesterday finally let go of a new woman in my life after 3 years
who I met online particularly because it was getting to me that we would never meet, I'm 30 now
and feel we should both move on and be happy instead of kidding ourselves😀
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Having graduated from the school of hard knocks myself, I must say that life only gets better... .:D

Being grateful for what I do have instead of focusing on and chasing after what I don't have? Yeah. Much better!
 
fizzyjoe

fizzyjoe

Well-known member
#11
Oct 22, 2018
568
401
63
#11
Magenta said:
Having graduated from the school of hard knocks myself, I must say that life only gets better... .:D

Being grateful for what I do have instead of focusing on and chasing after what I don't have? Yeah. Much better!
Click to expand...
yep true, I have kept trying to like hurry up and make something work out when I'm still pretty young and can still sort out the kind of life I would like😀
 
brighthouse98

brighthouse98

Senior Member
#12
Apr 16, 2015
672
339
63
71
#12
Good brother Forgivenand redeemed I am now 70 years old and never married either which isn't the way I wanted it either!!! When I prayed I told the Lord that you said in your Word that it is better to marry then to burn with passion!!(1 Cor 7:9!!)

He gave me this brother in return (Matt 19:10-12) Then Holy Spirit inside me comforted me with these words" My son I know how hard this is to accept but the Lord is looking out for your welfare let his will be done and you will be much better off."

This word is not met for you good brother it was for me, perhaps a beautiful woman will come along for you, in the meantime do not neglect the relationship you are to have with the Lord!! For he must come first, and as your relationship with the Lord grows you will then be ready to be a great example to the wife you seek!! Consider this my brother, and blessing to you always through our Lord Jesus Christ!!
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#13
Mar 13, 2014
42,762
17,219
113
70
Tennessee
#13
fizzyjoe said:
I myself haven't dated anyone in Ever, loneliness and being scared of real life drove me to search for love online and some will crack your heart like a walnut because they realize such weakness...
I would say remain single until you...
1.have your own life together mentally and financially
2.get to know that special someone and eventually meet in real life(waiting to meet can be an emotional strain)
3.know what you desire in a relationship and don't settle for 1 sidedness both of you should be reasonably happy not trying to change each other so much
Click to expand...
I fully agree with all 3 of your points.
 
proutled

proutled

Active member
#16
May 9, 2023
558
218
43
texas
#16
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
I haven’t dated anyone in 7 years. This isn’t how I planned it. I expected to be married by now and have a family of my own. I’m very lonely and long for a relationship, but I also wonder if it would be best for me to remain single. I’ve gotten used to being able to do things my way whenever I want. I’m not sure if I would even do well in a relationship anymore. Does anyone else feel this way?
Click to expand...
I know what you mean, how ever I say use this time to get to know your God ,better. Know his word, know his love for you, build up your relationship with him, and walk in your calling, maybe there are things he wants you to know , and do first.
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#17
Mar 8, 2022
1,247
829
113
#17
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
I haven’t dated anyone in 7 years. This isn’t how I planned it. I expected to be married by now and have a family of my own. I’m very lonely and long for a relationship, but I also wonder if it would be best for me to remain single. I’ve gotten used to being able to do things my way whenever I want. I’m not sure if I would even do well in a relationship anymore. Does anyone else feel this way?
Click to expand...
Both should not try to change each other. If you can't get used to eachother, there may be problems. Of course there is some compromise necessary in relationship, but you can't expect the other person to change too much or change too much yourself. Just find someone who accepts you the way you are, someone who is fine with your set ways.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#19
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#19
Remain single, or mingle, but there's a third way...eat pringles.

 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#20
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#20
MsMediator said:
Both should not try to change each other. If you can't get used to eachother, there may be problems. Of course there is some compromise necessary in relationship, but you can't expect the other person to change too much or change too much yourself. Just find someone who accepts you the way you are, someone who is fine with your set ways.
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excuse me, what other person?

I dont think there is another person.

why would someone want to change someone else? I think you should respect other people if you are single.

If you are going somewhere NEW though, its should be ok to change and move the furniture around. for something to work, you cant just expect someone to slot in your life like a cog in a wheel. Thats being bossy and controlling and probably the number one reason why people stay single.
 
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