I will take a few of your points and respond:
You said:
Paul makes distinction between the children of the flesh (Ishmael) and the children of promise (Isaac).
But you dislike the term "spiritual Israel". Spiritual Israel is just another way of saying the Israel of promise. It is a logical progression of the idea laid out in Scripture:
1 ) 1Co_2:15 But he that is spiritual is judging all things, and he himself is judged of no man.
2 ) 1Co_15:46 Howbeit that is not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural; then that which is spiritual.
3 ) 1Pe_2:5 ye also, as living stones, are built up a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
These verses are about the completed believers, God's Elect. A spiritual person is considered to be a person who is mature (#1), a person who started out as a natural man and became spiritual by means of Regeneration and Conversion - finally in glorification. This DOES NOT mean that we become spirits but become spiritually minded people. (#2), Each believer is a "living stone" being built up into a spiritual house, (#3).
Therefore, by extension, the elect Jews who make up the true Israel are indeed spiritual believers. Thus, the acceptable term "spiritual Israel" as distinguished from the "natural Israel". You made the exact same distinction by using the terms "flesh" and "promise".
You said:
Please note that before Esau was born, God told Rebekah the elder shall serve the younger (Gen 25:23).
Do you know where it is written Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated? A lot of people think that was written before Esau was born. However, it was long after Esau's death when God made that statement (Malachi 1:2-3).
Yes God did inform Rebekah of this fact, Gen. 25:23. Which proves the future of these two children had already been laid out by God from eternity. The Lord just did not tell Rebekah how this was going to take place. Often times in Scripture, God does not reveal how He is going to bring about His purpose. As it turned out, Esau sold his birthright. The same kind of thing occurred in Joseph's life.
Gen 50:20 But as for you, ye purposed evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. There was no way Joseph could have understood what God was doing in his life, until what occurred was completed.
As far as the verse "
Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated?" is concerned, your argument ignored the immediate context of Romans 9. Paul wanted to make sure his point was clearly understood and said this:
Rom 9:11 (For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth
This verse needs no clarification nor personal interpretation. It speaks loudly and clearly to the Truth. But I suspect you already know this and intentionally left it out because it does not suit your Theology. There is no doubt that Paul knew of these verses in Malachi but there is also no doubt that he further explained these two verses to the Roman believers.
You said:
No one on this site denies God's mercy or God's compassion.
Ahhh, but many on this site
deny the Scriptural evidence that God's mercy and compassion are shown only to the ELECT. Even to the denying of plain understanding of these Scriptures. The emphasis of Rom. 9:15&16, is NOT on God's mercy and compassion BUT on His
Sovereignty. Look closely again, please:
Rom 9:15 For he said to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.
Rom 9:16 So then it is not of him that wills, nor of him that is running, but of God that shows mercy.
These statements of God here in Romans harmonizes perfectly with those given in John Ch. 6:44, 63 &65 - as well as others).
You said:
Do you believe Philippians 2:13 refers to God being at work within the unbeliever?
God does work in the unbeliever - such as turning the Kings heart like a river, which ever way He pleases. Or the hardening of Pharaoh's heart, etc.. but not in the way which is being spoken of in Eph. 2:13. This is about believers and not the lost. What God is doing in Eph. 2:13 is directly linked to those of Eph. 1:4-6.
Finally, You said:
I believe God allows mankind to reject Him, His goodness, His grace and mercy, and in rejecting, people live with the consequence of their decisions.
God does allow mankind to reject Him in a certain sense of this word but it most be carefully understood. There are TWO different calls understood in the Doctrine of Soteriology. The first is the "General Call" of the Gospel. This call can be heard by every listener but is not effectual in the listener. It was discussed in the parable of the sower:
Mat 13:3 And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;
This is the Gospel message proclaimed.
Mat 13:4 And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:
The gospel message fell upon those who cared nothing about the subject.
Mat 13:5 Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:
Mat 13:6 And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.
A part of the message was heard and it caused a temporary emotional reaction and a decision for Christ but it soon wore off and that person drifts away from the things of the church and Christ and returns to the old ways.
Mat 13:7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:
Again, a temporary emotional reaction causes this one to make a profession of faith but the persons they hang out with and the problems of life return them to the old ways. The Gospel message is choked off.
The second "Calling" is known as the "Effectual Call". This calling is in the same parable and is the only one which is legitimate.
Mat 13:8 But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.
Mat 13:9 Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.
Here the Gospel message is heard by one who had been prepared before hand in the new birth, just like Lydia in the book of Acts. This being born again (Regeneration), gives to that person ears to hear, which is a metaphor for a spiritually discerning mind.... a new nature. This person and only this person will bring about good fruit, or in other words, works that are pleasing to God.
Because man's fallen nature is "darkness" according to Scripture and his mind possesses no ability to discern spiritual things (1 cor. 2:13&14). He rejects coming to the Lord because this is 180 degrees opposed to his/her nature. Darkness does not yearn for the light. (Rom.3:10-12).
Therefore, only by God's Sovereign Grace can one be brought into a new nature (The new birth) in Regeneration and begin a movement towards God in a genuine Conversion experience. God's purpose in Election comes out of God's purpose from eternity and guarantees that the one elected will be born again in God's appointed time. Once that person in Regeneration has been given a new spirit and a heart of flesh to replace the heart of stone, he/she will move towards their Saviour Jesus Christ and believe on Him. Because the Holy Spirit which indwells he/she since the new birth, is both the guarantor and the seal.
This individual, having been so graced, will never turn back to their old ways nor will they ever reject God because it is not in the will of God and what God begins He will finish, this is the promise of God in Scripture. In addition, there is nothing in the New Nature that desires to go back to the darkness. This person will sin and can be temporarily deceived and stumble. Just look at King David. However the promise is, that this one will be brought to the finish line fully held in the hand of the Lord.
Joh_6:37 All that which the Father giveth me shall come unto me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.