"You can't have light without dark"
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I share this, only because our struggle against the demonic is unnecessary and often caused by a lack of knowledge in Christ ("...for lack of knowledge my people parish..."). Please understand, I make no judgments here and am in prayer for you. However, I am compelled by the Holy Spirit to share with you. May you receive this with a contrite heart and willingness.
Many "alternative realities" are presented to us as we grow up and our minds become conditioned. I tried to serve the Lord nearly 20 years and all I found was myself to be a hypocrite and a failure. I was bound by my own perceptions of the truth. I believed in my belief in God. I sought God to set me free, not simply for Himself. It was as if I said, "God, I don't really want you, I want ME... but I want me freed from darkness and in your light." I came to Him because I wanted deliverance, I wanted to tell everyone, "Look what God has done for me."
I pray for the renewing of the mind (Romans 12:1-2). As long as we believe that "we cannot have light without dark" we cannot be free. We must believe the Truth, "you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free." the Truth has not changed, when once we understand it and truly believe it, we can experience the freedom that Christ died to allow us to live in. Darkness cannot exist without Light, but Light existed long before darkness. The Truth is that Christ has already given us victory over the darkness and rendered satan powerless ("...the prince of this world now stands condemned..."). All we have left to do it to realize this in momentary reality and be transformed into His likeness by the renewing of our minds.
It must also be called to attention, that affiliation with tarot cards, D&D, horoscopes, and the like has cause many humans ungodly experiences.
I love you and am praying for you. I only share what I am led to share here. No harm or offense intended.
Hidden in Christ,
Hebrews 12:1-3