Seeing though God's Eyes - A Training Exercise

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Sep 6, 2013
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#1
This is a training exercise to help us all discipline ourselves to think more positively about life. For each seemingly-negative circumstance that we find ourselves in, let us list it here. And next to it, let's think about (and talk about) ways that God could be using it for our benefit.

By doing this, we can not only train ourselves to see our lives through God's eyes, but also lift up and enable our brothers and sisters here by our examples. Feel free to post past experiences as well as present ones you are facing now. It can be practical, spiritual, serious, funny - whatever you like. If you can't think of anything beneficial at all, post it anyway and someone else may be able to look at it from a distance and shed new light on it.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,860
9,579
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#2
This is a training exercise to help us all discipline ourselves to think more positively about life. For each seemingly-negative circumstance that we find ourselves in, let us list it here. And next to it, let's think about (and talk about) ways that God could be using it for our benefit.

By doing this, we can not only train ourselves to see our lives through God's eyes, but also lift up and enable our brothers and sisters here by our examples. Feel free to post past experiences as well as present ones you are facing now. It can be practical, spiritual, serious, funny - whatever you like. If you can't think of anything beneficial at all, post it anyway and someone else may be able to look at it from a distance and shed new light on it.
Grace, I will use my cancer as an example here. There is a saying, "I never knew my strength until I had cancer." And girl, that certainly is true!! I know alot of people who have had cancer, some recovered, some died. I have felt firsthand the fear and dread that come with the words, "You have cancer." I have cried those tears of anger (why me?!), had the responsibility of trying to figure out how to tell my family (I broke down bawling), and I've had the sleepless days and nights of wondering "what if". What if I die? Why me, and not my sister who smokes like a chimney? I asked these questions of myself and God.

It was 2 weeks between the time I found out I had cancer, and the surgery to do a total hysterectomy. I was positive that once they opened me up, they'd find more cancer than what they thought was there. But they didn't!! :)
I'm one of the luckier ones. I survived, and sometimes I feel guilty about that. So many die, yet I was saved. In the 4 years since my surgery, I've come to realize that I was saved so that I could share my story with others, which I do on here on a regular basis. :) I have a new sense of compassion for others now with the same illnesses I have/ had. I'm learning how to have more patience with obstinate people such as my mom and oldest sister. I am learning how to tolerate people that I don't care for. But most of all, I've learned that God can indeed change people's lives. He certainly changed mine by giving me cancer, and it's gonna sound crazy, but I'm glad I had cancer because it has taught me alot of lessons about myself, life, and God.
:eek:
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,173
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#3
Seeing through God's eyes is a daily exercise for me. For instance just today on my walk I met one of my old friends from school, I haven't seen him in years. Let me explain his physical features, he has a hole on the right side of his head next to his ear I don't have a clue how he got it. His face is so vastly covered with zits and mole that you can barely see his face you would think he had leprosy. He was born with that kind of face and to many he is hideous, I saw this face of his but I didn't care what my eyes saw I wanted to know what God saw and I bet he saw something amazing and beautiful.

I don't trust my eyes because my eyes don't really see, when it comes to what God sees and what I see I am blind so I rely on God's eyes not mine. And in doing so I have learned to see what others don't, I am far from perfect at it and in fact I still have a long way to go but I am learning and on the right track.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#4
Here's a thing I've been having a really hard time with, and struggling to see the good, struggling to see where God is taking this...

For the last year, I've been having a terrible, terrible time with my 3 (nearly 4) year old son. I know that a big part of the problem is that I uprooted and disrupted his life- twice, once leaving here and once coming back. I completely expected that to be difficult for all of us. I tried to ease the transition the best I could, tried to be sure to keep as much as possible the same, tried regularly praying with him/for him...basically, I feel like I have tried every single thing I, or my husband, or our families, can think of to get my son to listen to me, to not lie to me, to get potty trained...

Every single day with him is a struggle. A fight. Nearly all day, every day, we're butting heads and it's awful.

Some people keep telling me "hang in there, it gets easier"...but then I'm like..."If he's THIS stubborn and willful NOW, and I can't get any kind of control over the situation, it's only going to get worse as he gets older, more clever, more sneaky, etc.".

Other people tell me it's just his age....but they've been saying it's the Terrible Twos for almost 2 years.

It's so bad with my son that I honestly dread the morning most of the time, dread the time when he wakes up and I have to try, again, to keep him calm, keep me calm, enforce rules and boundaries...because it's so exhausting, having a kid who screams and cries about every single "no", who won't do anything I ask him to do, who lies already and is mean to the baby, who basically just does whatever he feels like doing, regardless of the consequences (and I make sure there are consequences for these things...he just isn't affected by them).

I've tried to see this through God's eyes, tried to imagine what He's doing with this situation...why it's happening, why it's not getting better.
I know it could be teaching me patience...but I don't feel patient, I feel worn down and wiped out and like I'm failing as a mother.
I guess it could be teaching me unconditional love...but I don't feel that way, either, I feel angry and frustrated with him more often than not.

So, basically, I haven't got a clue how to see this in a different light.


 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,860
9,579
113
#5
Here's a thing I've been having a really hard time with, and struggling to see the good, struggling to see where God is taking this...

For the last year, I've been having a terrible, terrible time with my 3 (nearly 4) year old son. I know that a big part of the problem is that I uprooted and disrupted his life- twice, once leaving here and once coming back. I completely expected that to be difficult for all of us. I tried to ease the transition the best I could, tried to be sure to keep as much as possible the same, tried regularly praying with him/for him...basically, I feel like I have tried every single thing I, or my husband, or our families, can think of to get my son to listen to me, to not lie to me, to get potty trained...

Every single day with him is a struggle. A fight. Nearly all day, every day, we're butting heads and it's awful.

Some people keep telling me "hang in there, it gets easier"...but then I'm like..."If he's THIS stubborn and willful NOW, and I can't get any kind of control over the situation, it's only going to get worse as he gets older, more clever, more sneaky, etc.".

Other people tell me it's just his age....but they've been saying it's the Terrible Twos for almost 2 years.

It's so bad with my son that I honestly dread the morning most of the time, dread the time when he wakes up and I have to try, again, to keep him calm, keep me calm, enforce rules and boundaries...because it's so exhausting, having a kid who screams and cries about every single "no", who won't do anything I ask him to do, who lies already and is mean to the baby, who basically just does whatever he feels like doing, regardless of the consequences (and I make sure there are consequences for these things...he just isn't affected by them).

I've tried to see this through God's eyes, tried to imagine what He's doing with this situation...why it's happening, why it's not getting better.
I know it could be teaching me patience...but I don't feel patient, I feel worn down and wiped out and like I'm failing as a mother.
I guess it could be teaching me unconditional love...but I don't feel that way, either, I feel angry and frustrated with him more often than not.

So, basically, I haven't got a clue how to see this in a different light.


MissCris, have you tried looking at this through your son's eyes? He is so young and probably doesn't know why you moved away, then moved back, separated from hubby, etc.. Your situation is probably alot more difficult for him than it has been for you, if that's possible. When you talk to him, do you speak to him like he's a child, or an adult? Have you asked him why he constantly acts out like this? Ask him what the two of you can do to remedy this constant struggle every day. Kids know how to push the buttons of their parents!! Maybe start treating him more like your friend, rather than just your son. :)

I think through all this, God is trying to teach you not only patience, as you stated, but an increased tolerance of difficult people and understanding of others whose mindset does not match yours. I definitely think he's teaching you unconditional love. He is also teaching you how to have grace, mercy and forgiveness, "under fire" as it were. :)
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,029
3,238
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#6
For the last year, I've been having a terrible, terrible time with my 3 (nearly 4) year old son. I know that a big part of the problem is that I uprooted and disrupted his life- twice, once leaving here and once coming back. I completely expected that to be difficult for all of us. I tried to ease the transition the best I could, tried to be sure to keep as much as possible the same, tried regularly praying with him/for him...basically, I feel like I have tried every single thing I, or my husband, or our families, can think of to get my son to listen to me, to not lie to me, to get potty trained...

Every single day with him is a struggle. A fight. Nearly all day, every day, we're butting heads and it's awful.

Some people keep telling me "hang in there, it gets easier"...but then I'm like..."If he's THIS stubborn and willful NOW, and I can't get any kind of control over the situation, it's only going to get worse as he gets older, more clever, more sneaky, etc.".
I'm sorry for your struggles Cris. It sounds to me like your son is the classic strong willed child (with a good dose of ADD probably) on steroids. Reading your description of your son reminds me of...........me at the same age and from what I gather my Mom spent a bulk majority of my younger years perpetually exasperated.

Dr Dobson wrote a book back in the 70's (when Focus on the Family was a small almost unheard of ministry in So Cal) that he recently updated to reflect current research. When "The Strong-willed Child" was originally written in the late 70's ADD/ADHD wasn't even a diagnosis, I was diagnosed as "borderline hyperactive". I don't know if you're up to reading a book, but "The New Strong-willed Child" may give you some insight into your son's behavior issues. Dobson's books tend to be an easy read.
 
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Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,029
3,238
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#7
PS. Cris, you and your husband reaaaaaalllllllly need to be on the same page with your son. A strong willed child will use any perceived boundary differences against you.
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#8
Every single day with him is a struggle. A fight. Nearly all day, every day, we're butting heads...
Well, you may try to set a scheduled routine, since he'll be in a preschool routine here in a little bit. Something like,

Breakfast

Brush your teeth.
Give him positive response when he's done, like "Show me your toophies. Oooo! They are so shiny and clean!!", and give him a hug for brushing his teeth.

change pj's. Again, positive response

play
put toys away. Praise him for putting away toys, or a least for attempting to put away toys.

Wash your hands for snack.
Give him time (4 minutes) to play a little in the sink. Kids 6 and younger love to play with soap & water and soap bubbles, and somehow that recreation appeases them.

snack

Clean-up snack. Give him a hug & complement for helping cleaning the table.

Give him a simple chore, but make it sound like he's about to do something very important like "Say, Big-Guy, let's do something fun together, okay?
I'm going to trust you with the washer, Okay?
Please take 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 dirty shirts to the washer, and let's see how well you can count, Deal, Sweetie?"
Then give him a hug.

lunch
nap
play, etc.

The idea is to keep the difficult child occupied, while reinforcing positive attitude. At the first moment of defiance, just stay calm, and repeat the instruction. Give him a hug or hold his hand. Say stuff like, "C'mon, it's your favorite game to count shirts for laundry."

As for potty training, take him to the store for him to pick a bag of his favorite candy. Make it a fun outing, like "Say Big-Guy, today you get to shop for candy!! How cool is that??"

Then explain to him that for every #1 in the potty, he'll get 1 candy from the treasure box, and for every #2 in the potty, he'll get 2 candies "from the treasure box," but if he goes in his pull-ups, that's zero candy. Say stuff like, "The treasure box can only be open when the potty is used, or the toilet used..." whichever you are training him with.

Tell him that if he uses the potty all day long without any "accidents," then you'll treat him to ice-cream or to the park... whatever treat you think will motive him to use the potty consistently.

Say stuff like, "Today, Mommy is going to trust you to use the potty, and you're going to be so very happy when Mommy will take you out for ice-cream, Deal?" :)

 
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C

caz

Guest
#9
You are truly an inspiration! God always sees the bigger picture, we think why me, he uses these experiences for our good and to help others.??????
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#10
Just want to say thank you to blue_ladybug, Oncefallen, and BananaPie for the advice/new outlook :) I'll definitely get a copy of that book and see if that helps.
Maybe God is using this to teach me to ask for help. Who knows? But He must have a plan, and that alone is comforting.

(Grace- sorry, I really didn't mean to turn your thread into an advice collumn!)

I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread...
 
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
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#11
Just want to say thank you to blue_ladybug, Oncefallen, and BananaPie for the advice/new outlook :) I'll definitely get a copy of that book and see if that helps.
Maybe God is using this to teach me to ask for help. Who knows? But He must have a plan, and that alone is comforting.

(Grace- sorry, I really didn't mean to turn your thread into an advice collumn!)

I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread...
No, I thought it was great. Let's be here for one another, you know?

My sister had a child much like your son. And while life was very difficult at times, we can see that his personality is one that could be used by God for great leadership. So much potential when harnessed by God! Just keep plugging away. See if you can find that one disciplinary action that seems to resonate with him. I'm praying for you.
 

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
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#12
Just want to say thank you to blue_ladybug, Oncefallen, and BananaPie for the advice/new outlook :) I'll definitely get a copy of that book and see if that helps.
Maybe God is using this to teach me to ask for help. Who knows? But He must have a plan, and that alone is comforting.

(Grace- sorry, I really didn't mean to turn your thread into an advice collumn!)

I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread...
I will be praying for you and your son MissCris. :)

I think this thread is a good idea. Thank you Grace!! :)
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
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#13
Cris, I'm sorry for what you're going through, it really difficult and scary. When my Son was 3 he started hitting me, really hurting me. One time he charged me and slammed his head into my nose, another time he came up from behind me and hit me in the head with a drapery rod. I was scared and sad, his temper was horrible. I had him evaluated by a child psychologist, although he didn't seem to think he had adhd or anything like that, he taught me ways to deal.with his behavior. It might be a good idea to talk with a professional, that doesn't mean medication but it might get you some skills to.deal.with this. My prayers are with you.