Seeking Perfection?

[Wycliffe_Erika]

I think its ok to have a list, as long as its flexible and doesn't paint one's self into a corner (disqualifies so many people that no one can really measure up to it).

That was never my point

 

[Jullianna]

I think most mature people have a mental list of some sort that keeps their priorities in mind when thinking about a prospective spouse. I think Jullianna's point in this thread was that some people make their list so detailed and exact that probably no one would meet the standard.

I know for myself I have non-negotiables such as a strong, growing Christian; and negotiables (preferences) such as interests.

Exactly, Oncefallen. Sometimes the biggest thing standing in our way is US.

 

[Jullianna]

I must have missed something. I scrolled back and I don't see any advice from Erika in this thread about the priorities she's talking about. *scratching head*

 

[Oncefallen]

I must have missed something. I scrolled back and I don't see any advice from Erika in this thread about the priorities she's talking about. *scratching head*

Wycliff_Erica was speaking of a post in a prior thread. I remember the post, just not which thread it was in.

 

[CC_Bride]

Makes me think, wonder if Jesus married...

Poor woman,would never win any arguments because she was the one with sin, he would be all perfect. Jesus could never be equally yoked with anyone.

 

[zeroturbulence]

That was never my point

I don't know what point you're talking about. I was just responding to what you said about a list.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Anyway, sorry Erika if I said something wrong. I'm just a confused little kitty.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Makes me think, wonder if Jesus married...

Poor woman,would never win any arguments because she was the one with sin, he would be all perfect. Jesus could never be equally yoked with anyone.

I think you have a good point there.

 

[Wycliffe_Erika]

Wycliff_Erica was speaking of a post in a prior thread. I remember the post, just not which thread it was in.

exactly, Well anyways I don't see myself identified in this thread. I just laughed because of zeroturbulence's picture cause I found it funny, because I know some people take the list seriously and never meet anyone because of their high standards. But I find highly offensive that Jullianna used my word "list" as referring to what I said on the previous thread "How will I recognize him?". Since I never used that word for that concept, I used having priorities, and having a mental list as to being concious to who you're going to choose, the person that has the same vision, and now she uses the word in the context of perfectionism. Get my concept right Jullianna, I never meant that with having a mental list.

 

[zeroturbulence]

exactly, Well anyways I don't see myself identified in this thread. I just laughed because of zeroturbulence's picture cause I found it funny, because I know some people take the list seriously and never meet anyone because of their high standards. But I find highly offensive that Jullianna used my word "list" as referring to what I said on the previous thread "How will I recognize him?". Since I never used that word for that concept, I used having priorities, and having a mental list as to being concious to who you're going to choose, the person that has the same vision, and now she uses the word in the context of perfectionism. Get my concept right Jullianna, I never meant that with having a mental list.

I went to that thread and read all of her posts and yours and I really don't think she meant to offend you with this thread. Julianna is just saying here that we shouldn't limit ourselves with lists. What you were saying is we should find someone who will be our match. They have nothing to do with each other. We bring up the subject of lists in this forum a lot and there isn't any reference here to anything that was said in the other thread. I can see that you're worried that people may have mistook your matching process as just another list. I didn't even know there was another thread. Don't worry, Erika. No one is looking down on you and no one will look down on you even if you did post a list because most of the folks here have lists anyway. Even though I tell them not to.

 

[Jullianna]

exactly, Well anyways I don't see myself identified in this thread. I just laughed because of zeroturbulence's picture cause I found it funny, because I know some people take the list seriously and never meet anyone because of their high standards. But I find highly offensive that Jullianna used my word "list" as referring to what I said on the previous thread "How will I recognize him?". Since I never used that word for that concept, I used having priorities, and having a mental list as to being concious to who you're going to choose, the person that has the same vision, and now she uses the word in the context of perfectionism. Get my concept right Jullianna, I never meant that with having a mental list.

I'm sorry you're offended, but I really have no idea what post or list you are talking about. I've made no reference to you or any of your posts. Since you have admittedly never used that term, I'm at a loss as to why you would be offended. I actually enjoy your posts. God bless

 

[Jullianna]

After reading posts in these threads for a couple of years I've noticed that, other than wanting to marry a believer, I've seen many things that unbelievers also have on their lists, which makes me wonder if this might be the reason the divorce stats for christians are just as high as those for unbelievers.

So often it seems that people find someone who meets their qualifications and that's enough for them, so they marry. Then, along comes the person who knocks them off of their feet who might not meet those same qualifications, but they don't care because they love them so much that their flaws become endearing. And they become another statistic. Life is not a fairytale. Marriage for us is to be a once in a lifetime event, barring death. Unlike unbelievers, we need to get it right the first time, don't we?

 

[Wycliffe_Erika]

After reading posts in these threads for a couple of years I've noticed that, other than wanting to marry a believer, I've seen many things that unbelievers also have on their lists, which makes me wonder if this might be the reason the divorce stats for christians are just as high as those for unbelievers.

So often it seems that people find someone who meets their qualifications and that's enough for them, so they marry. Then, along comes the person who knocks them off of their feet who might not meet those same qualifications, but they don't care because they love them so much that their flaws become endearing. And they become another statistic. Life is not a fairytale. Marriage for us is to be a once in a lifetime event, barring death. Unlike unbelievers, we need to get it right the first time, don't we?

I agree with Jullianna

 

[jthomasnaz]

Christian Perfection is not trying to improve the flesh or selfish nature. Improvement programs do not help spiritually. They are works religion.
Christian Perfection is Perfect God using your surrendered body to do Perfect work and He must get all the credit for it. If you say that you did it for Him = works religion. You must say that the Perfect God did it through you and He gets the glory.

 

[Liamson]

I think it is Good to strive for perfection but I believe that we all have a degree of faith and willingness to serve the Lord. Our purposes are different and sometimes they compliment each other and sometimes they are the same.

I know that I have been in relationships where my want to share Christ with strangers has been made a nervous wreck out of my Ordained children's pastor girlfriend. I have no doubt that she belonged to Christ and would give everything to Him but, her calling was so different than mine. She thought I was crazy for approaching strangers to talk about God and I thought she was crazy for considering a ream of construction paper a Good investment.

Having a relationship with God is not a ladder of strength in Christ. I agree that to be equally yoked means having the the same strength in Christ so one does not drag the other or the weak one hinder the strong one. However I also believe it means being yoked in the same purpose and able to support each other to the same ends.

But I do not believe that He has called us to similar things so as to achieve the same highest goal. For one being strong is being a strong leader and leading people to Christ, having Bible Studies and finding people wherever they are to get them to know Christ. For someone else it could be a music group that plays a few times a week in the church and in the community. We are all parts of the whole and have our purpose in Christ.

 

[Relena7]

We are perfect in our imperfections. The only way to be truly perfect is to completely and totally surrender all of our trying-to-be-perfect habits to The One that made us. Since no one can do that...well, no one is perfect.

 

[Crossfire]

Christian Perfection is not trying to improve the flesh or selfish nature. Improvement programs do not help spiritually. They are works religion.
Christian Perfection is Perfect God using your surrendered body to do Perfect work and He must get all the credit for it. If you say that you did it for Him = works religion. You must say that the Perfect God did it through you and He gets the glory.

What's funny is that this thread has absolutely nothing to do with 'Christian Perfection' but rather people looking for a perfect partner. However, I have studied the concept of 'Christian Perfection' during my research of the Revivalists of the 1700-1800's and I can tell you that, according to your post, you haven't the faintest idea of the concept. For them it's not about works either, but allowing God to perfect your heart in love for others which produces 'good works' but that's a conversation for another thread....

 

[Jullianna]

Any goodness or perfections in any of us are the work of Christ alone.

My point in creating this thread is that many times a decision as to whether someone wants to be with someone else is based upon superficial flaws or things that will burn up in the fire. As christians, we should have better/deeper vision than that.

And thanks, Crossfire. I was wondering how that post related to the topic too.

 

[Crossfire]

I've recently found myself in a weird situation. I've met someone who I absolutely adore who has all the qualities I look for but when I look at her I'm reminded of my own shortcomings and how far I am from the man the could truly appreciate her and compliment all that she brings to the table. I see such beauty in her - such a wonderful heart - that I would never want to get in the way of her becoming all that God has called her to be. It's a very awkward position to be in.