Self harm

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Hi. My name is Stacey. I'm 19 years old and still living with my parents. Some things have been going on and its really bad. Sometime in April of last year, I got really mad and angry at my parents. I was stressed and depressed. Finally, got tired of everything going on around me bad. I started a process called cutting. Cutting is not a really good thing to do when you're mad. I talked to people and nothing seemed to help. My dad was being mean to me. We were always fighting and arguing with each other. He blamed everything on me and I got really mad at him for it. He called me things that really upset me and he didn't care about my feelings. When I was younger, everything was different. We used to laugh and have a good time. I thought that my life would be like it used to be. Now my life isn't nothing. I don't think that I deserve to be in this world. Everything seems so hopeless. My grades are dropping again and I can't bring them up. I'm not as close to people as I used to be. I started back cutting and it realyl scares me knowing that I'm hurting myself. I went to see a psychiatrist and that didn't do no good. Everything in my life just isn't right. I don't feel like myself any more. I almost commited suicide and on the verge of commiting it now, but I don't want to. Do I seem like I'm depressed? Please help me
 
Tinker said:
Hi. My name is Stacey. I'm 19 years old and still living with my parents. Some things have been going on and its really bad. Sometime in April of last year, I got really mad and angry at my parents. I was stressed and depressed. Finally, got tired of everything going on around me bad. I started a process called cutting. Cutting is not a really good thing to do when you're mad. I talked to people and nothing seemed to help. My dad was being mean to me. We were always fighting and arguing with each other. He blamed everything on me and I got really mad at him for it. He called me things that really upset me and he didn't care about my feelings. When I was younger, everything was different. We used to laugh and have a good time. I thought that my life would be like it used to be. Now my life isn't nothing. I don't think that I deserve to be in this world. Everything seems so hopeless. My grades are dropping again and I can't bring them up. I'm not as close to people as I used to be. I started back cutting and it realyl scares me knowing that I'm hurting myself. I went to see a psychiatrist and that didn't do no good. Everything in my life just isn't right. I don't feel like myself any more. I almost commited suicide and on the verge of commiting it now, but I don't want to. Do I seem like I'm depressed? Please help me
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 Mark 5:
5And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.

Jesus set this man free. Hope in Him, He will do the same for you, but you must wait expectantly.

You must believe that Jesus will set you free, because He loves you just as much as he loved the man in Mark 5. This possessed man didn't earn Jesus' help by good behavior. He was completely helpless and that's when Jesus came.

If you are completely helpless, Jesus will come. Just expect Him to.

Quest
 
Tinker said:
Thanks. I may actually fit in here. This is cool
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Jesus came to save the sick, not healthy people.

Luke 18:
 9And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:
10Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
11The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
12I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
13And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
14I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

If you trust in your own efforts at holiness to save you, you are just like the Pharisee. But if you realize that you are a helpless sinner, with no hope of ever pleasing God by your own good deeds, that is when Jesus will save you. All of man's Righteousness is as filthy rags in God's sight.

Isaiah 40:31 (King James Version)
31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
 
I used to have a battle with self harm.
I totally understand and please understand if you are dealing with depression it effects MANY areas of your life.

You'r self esteem - you veiw everything through the warped perception depression causes including yourself, you can not see your skills or anything possitive about the person you are and often blame yourself for your struggle which is NOT your fault. Depression puts a cap on someones ability to effectivly focus (which is why you are probably struggling in school), it is both physically and emotionally exausting, and when it takes every ounce of energy you have to simply get up in the morning, its hard to rationalize that some one wants you to also maintain your grades, social lifel jobs ect.
Although you may not see your grades where they have been or see yourself in a possitive light YOU ARE NO LESS BEAUTIFUL OR INTELIGENT then you were before this downward spiral began.

Your Family - Depression also causes you to feel attacked, and smothered in a sense. So even a comment that is intended to be innocent seems like a vicious attack and because a depressed mind cannot rationalize, a depressed person ALMOST inevitably plays the role of the victim, particularly in their own eyes...often the people who make you feel most attacked and overwhelmed are the ones who spend the most time with you - your family.

The value of your own life - when you're super down you can't fathom that "this too shall pass" you feel inevitably stuck in a rut and its hard to even THINK that you might exit the low point. Rest assured YOU WILL. If you don't believe you can make it out alone thats fine. Most people with clinical to manic depressive characteristics need counciling (beyond a doubt) and some also require anti depressents. Foccussing on others, your passions, and trying to heal any areas of unforgiveness or old emotional scars should help. Keep praying and plugging into God.

If this helped at all I will be glad... im not a professional, just a 19 year old girl who has dealt with depression since I was 11.
 
If your psychiatrist didn't work out for you, try to find one that does. They are a bit like shopping for a new car you have to find the one that works best with you. Also if your put on medication give it time, it doesn't start working right away, and stay in contact with your doctor over the progress so they know what adjustments to make. You might need to change one treatment for another but that does require a bit of patients. Also try to do something physical, like a sport you like to help get your anger out. Like try a martial art or kick boxing that way your learning how to protect yourself while getting out your anger. You can also every day do something you really like, for me I love tea so drinking tea every day helps take the stress out a bit. Maybe getting your nails done or something like that, also try painting that helps some people too. With cutting though you really should know basic first aid so that at least if you have to, you are doing it in a controlled way. Whatever you do don't keep quite tell your parents or an adult you trust and can go to for support.
 
Well, it made me feel a little better. I've been going through it since I was 12. I'm 19 now and I'm going to re-dedicate my life to God on Sunday. I pray that will help. Right now I'm struggling with something that happened to my dad and my 3rd oldest sister. They got into a huge fight and my dad punched my sister in the mouth 2ce. We had to go to court today and I had to testify for my sister and dad. Which was really hard because I actually took up for my sister. Now my dad is trying to say that I told a lie and I didn't. He wants to take a warrant out on me for purdury. I don't think that he will, but he may. I'm scared for my sister because she might go to jail. She has 2 very small kids and they their their mama. I've been cutting for 1 year and 1 month
 
For him to charge you with perjury he has to prove that you knowing gave false statements under oath, so without any tangible evidence he doesn't have a pot to p*** in. (I don't know if I can say that word. XD) With criminal court it isn't just over 50 percent and someone is guilty that is the burden in civil court. If there is a change that a person didn't commit that offense even if it's only 10 percent then they have to be found not guilty under the US law. Also with perjury they will never take anything anything to court based on hearsay. So he can threaten that all he wants but it won't happen, all he's doing is trying to intimidate you. Do you now live with your mom? It seems your dad is a really negative influence on your life and if I were you I'd try to avoid him. It isn't the ideal situation, but when parents don't fulfill their responsibility to protect and be there for their kids sometimes it's the only thing you can do.
 
Ohh sister. emails like this are what make me so glad we have the Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
Your worth in him is infinite.
Matthew 13:44"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. 45"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.


For years I looked at that parable and thought that the man who found the hidden treasure was us. That the man who sold everything for the pearl was us giving everything up for the Lord. Sister, This is Jesus giving everything up for us! He loves you immeasurably!



Matthew 18:12"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.



Jesus longs to carry you back in his arms.

He is stronger than anything in this life. And while things may still be hard.. because even the bible says we will face times of harshness, we must keep our eyes on the Lord.

Take it from me sister.. my life story is different from yours and by the sounds of it.. I suffered under different demons, but God got me through it. He welcomed me back into his arms and rejoiced. I know he loves me and that the praises in heaven we're sung the day his prodigal son returned to him. He longs to save us, to lift us above our situation on eagles wings.


Much love & God bless my sister!
 
I agree with xblindsidex. I have had depression since i was seven but not diagnosed until recently. Self harm was something i did to release the pain, it took me ages to stop doing it, but God has helped me. As He will you. It may be hard to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel at the moment as everything is warped as blindside said. but there is a light. I found Psalm 23 helpful, perhaps it might help you too.
 
Hi Tinker,
a song I havent heard in ages.. hunted it down for this post.

Just a really beautiful song to praise to and remember that our Lord is not just our Lord but our Savior as well.

YouTube - Mercy Seat - Vicki Yohe

Much love sister!!
 
Please watch this video below Tinker. This is a testimony of what God can do. He will do this for you also if you will seek Him with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:13 (King James Version)
13And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

Notice the steps he goes through: first God shows him how sinful he is, then he strives to be holy before God, and then he feels hopeless because he realizes that he can't obey God, and finally when he feels hopeless, God saves him:

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WZK6cqgh8U[/video]
 
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Tinker said:
Hi. My name is Stacey. I'm 19 years old and still living with my parents. Some things have been going on and its really bad. Sometime in April of last year, I got really mad and angry at my parents. I was stressed and depressed. Finally, got tired of everything going on around me bad. I started a process called cutting. Cutting is not a really good thing to do when you're mad. I talked to people and nothing seemed to help. My dad was being mean to me. We were always fighting and arguing with each other. He blamed everything on me and I got really mad at him for it. He called me things that really upset me and he didn't care about my feelings. When I was younger, everything was different. We used to laugh and have a good time. I thought that my life would be like it used to be. Now my life isn't nothing. I don't think that I deserve to be in this world. Everything seems so hopeless. My grades are dropping again and I can't bring them up. I'm not as close to people as I used to be. I started back cutting and it realyl scares me knowing that I'm hurting myself. I went to see a psychiatrist and that didn't do no good. Everything in my life just isn't right. I don't feel like myself any more. I almost commited suicide and on the verge of commiting it now, but I don't want to. Do I seem like I'm depressed? Please help me
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wow sad testimony but i know u will be fine.think about this for a while,the devil go against those who are about to hurt him real bad those who he fears he want to get them out of this world because he knows what are u capable of in Jesus Christ,he wont shoot at a simple soldier he knows u can become more than that in the spiritual world it might be a little hard for u to understand now but as long as keep your faith in Jesus he is making changes on u don`t worry that u don`t see them jet instead rejoice that u will see them one day that is what God wants from us.take care ill pray for u.
 
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