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sweet_eyes
Guest
If a person molests children , do they ever just stop? do they always have that impulse?? Are children who have been abused that way more likely to abuse kids themselves when they are adults??
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Hi Sweet_eyes
I don't think such people are likely to stop, or at least I don't think that persons who have done that can ever be trusted, until or unless they are truly born again by the spirit of God.
And yes I think people who are abused that way are more likely to do the same when they are adults, but not all do.
I don't think such people are likely to stop, or at least I don't think that persons who have done that can ever be trusted, until or unless they are truly born again by the spirit of God.
And yes I think people who are abused that way are more likely to do the same when they are adults, but not all do.
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SamIam
Guest
I personally would never trust someone that ever did that to a child, no matter if they got help or not.That tramatizes a child for life, and you dont wanna take the chance of it ever happening again.. .... Most young children that are sexually abused have no memory of the event, There mind blocks it out to protect them. Although they produce signs of it .. feelings of worthlessness, low self esteem, shame a general hatred for themselves, if its a boy whos been abused that way, they have alot of sexual confusion, and are more likely to be gay or they go to the extreme and abstain from sex with a man or woman, For young girls they also tend to be sexually confused as well, some turn into tomboys or wish they were a boy. When they get older some go towards being promiquious to try and make up for their feelings of worthlessness, Or they hate men so much they go towards the same sex. Some even try to make themselves so unattractive that neither a man or woman would want them. This protects them from ever having to deal with any type of sexual feelings. For both men and women that have been through any type of sexual abuse.. having sexual addictions are most common, but not in the form or acting out and abusing other children, im not saying this never happens because it most certainly does, but its not as common as you think. Also as the sexually abused child grows up into an adult alot of them exhibit physical symptoms as well, anxiety, panic, stomach problems, nervousness those are just some of them. In my opinion this is one of the most damaging things that could ever happen to a child.
Oh yah I certainly wouldn't hire a born again former child molestor to babysit my kids 
But I have to say that anyone can be changed by God, if they're truly born again.
My great uncle tried to molest me when I was around 12 years old, when he was apparently in a very drunken state. Thank God he didn't succeed. (If he did, who knows what direction my life would have taken! I might have grown up being gay!!!) But anyway I saw him many years later, after I was already an adult, and born again. And he was talking all about the Lord, as if he was really saved. He seemed to be sincere. So I just gave him the benefit of the doubt. (Still wouldn't leave my kids with him though; better safe than sorry!!!)
But I have to say that anyone can be changed by God, if they're truly born again.
My great uncle tried to molest me when I was around 12 years old, when he was apparently in a very drunken state. Thank God he didn't succeed. (If he did, who knows what direction my life would have taken! I might have grown up being gay!!!) But anyway I saw him many years later, after I was already an adult, and born again. And he was talking all about the Lord, as if he was really saved. He seemed to be sincere. So I just gave him the benefit of the doubt. (Still wouldn't leave my kids with him though; better safe than sorry!!!)
I just wanted you to know that from my expeariance that most do not become offenders.
I was a victem and have shared with other victems. Most are hurt but become determined to never let or see another child come to harm. I know for myself that it was my love for Jesus that helped and healed me. Often the media portrays a victem as perminately damaged. As a victem of both sexual a physical abuse it frustrates me and many that I know that it is asumed we will not be normal or would hurt another. That would be like saying because you were robbed that you would steal. The other point that frustraits me is when someone defends themselves by claiming the victem defence. What I and many have carried out of our expeariance is a strong compassion and a very wise and protective spirit. I will agree with you that those who have repeatedly offended are going to again. I also agree that the healing power of Jesus is what heals. God bless, Pickles
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carpetmanswife
Guest
Studies *so im told* show that abusers dont just stop, they need professional help and they say that abused kids are more likely to abuse. But let me say in my case being sexually abused caused more than my share of issues, drugs, drinking, insomnia,paranoia, fear, but as pickles said, it made me more determined than ever not to be an abuser, if anything im overprotective when it came to my son when he was small and my grandaughters now. which in this day and age ...isnt necessarily a bad thing.
Pickles and CMW: I understand what you're saying; maybe you're right. My father was so bad in many ways (not sexual abuse) that it made me determined to not be like him. And I don't believe I am like him, at all, in terms of what kind of father or husband I am. And I wouldn't want anyone to assume that I am or would be like him. So I understand where you're coming from there.
AMEN CMW!! What a wonderful day it was the day the Lord showed me my abuser as a young child and i was finally able to forgive him. before that i "said" i'd forgiven but stated i hope he doesnt make it to heaven. this is not true forgiveness. now i pray for his salvation & forgive him the adult he became because of his childhood, I would never in a million years trust him with my children though.
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sweet_eyes
Guest
Is it wrong not liking spending lots of time with that person?? Even if they are really nice now?
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carpetmanswife
Guest
o honey no...that just means you are normal....that kind of hurt can take forever if ever to get passed.Forgiving is one thing , hanging out with that person is a totally different story..God knows and understands
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SamIam
Guest
no thats not wrong at all........... its completely normal. I dont know of anyone who would wanna spend time with someone who did that to them.
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sweet_eyes
Guest
my grammar...not like spending...
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mcap
Guest
I was molested as a child,I did not have a father figure and my mom was a psychological mess.Prescription for a future criminal right?WRONG!!Every person has the choice not to be like their attacker,they either choose to hold grudges and take their unfortunate circumstances out on others or forgive and do not become a victim.
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carpetmanswife
Guest
Random Question..For those who were abused by their father (if ok to ask)....
Do you find it hard to call God your father?
I know personally I dunno this may sound a little stupid but.. when I hear him called father it scares me.. and I want to know if that will pass.
Sorry If this didn't make sense,
WiTtY
Do you find it hard to call God your father?
I know personally I dunno this may sound a little stupid but.. when I hear him called father it scares me.. and I want to know if that will pass.
Sorry If this didn't make sense,
WiTtY
AMEN!!!! Also, if you look around,the level of those abused, raped, etc. today is HIGHER than ever before, and it's only increasing even more.
I myself was a victim, and I'll say this, we're not victim's anymore, we're SURVIVERS!!!!!
We lived through it, moved on with life, forgave them, and we aren't like those whom harmed us.
I feel it's totally unfair to judge and assume things about others due to something someone did to them that was beyond their control.....labeling them is the same,who are others to just do such things!
We're not any less of a person, we're not any less beautiful in God's sight, or anything.
My mother and father neither one were around Mcap, so I understand....dad chose women, drugs, drinking, and all that...mom chose men, sex, drugs, drinking, being wild,and so on. Praise God, I tunred out NOTHING like either of them!
Rather I turned out on top with Jesus as my all in all, I'm saved, and going to heaven some day!
I'm on the battlefield for my Lord, I'm totally on fire for Him, and nothing can stop me! woooo! glory hallelujah!
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sweet_eyes
Guest
I still struggle with anger, not at the person that did it. At the ppl who knew he had done it before. I know though that they were doing what they thought was best and I love them. I just dpn't get why you would still let children around someone you know has abused kids. especially if it was you.