Should christians be the worlds most polite people ever?

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Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,488
1,298
113
#1
Hello it's been a whole since I did a thread.Not sure where this thread should be posted..so I decided to post it here.
I was thinking about some situations I have been going through recently and certain things I have experienced over the years since I have been a Christian in regards to interacting with different people types.
One of the things that I have encountered the most is just how impolite people can be at times which iam sure you can relate to yourselves.Yet I have realised that if I experience impoliteness from another Christian it affects me more and I guess this boils down to a sub conscious expectation of a certain standard.My natural kinda default setting is naturally friendly,approachable,courteous and polite....yet when a situation arises I can be assertive and even honest with something that may no be agreed with or belived..So my natural polite way ect isnt a social weakness from say a low self esteem.
Yet I have had to handle Christian's whose natural default setting can be grumpy or impolite ect in ministry and even in social settings..Its never always easy sometimes coz that's just the way they are.We all have different personality types and characteristics yet basic politeness is something I think we somehow expect to see in other Christian's.
Funny politeness isnt righteousness coz many people who aren't Christian can be naturally amazingly polite and courteous.
So should all Christians be consistently naturally polite and courteous given the fact that we are Gods children ect?We are all a work in progress for sure but should politeness ect become a fruit we should all manifest and furthermore is this something we expect from other Christians?
How do you handle impoliteness when you encounter it from a fellow Christian?Nice to hear your thoughts?
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
2,285
1,688
113
#2
Meh, I'm not always in a good mood and that sometimes looks like I'm being impolite. Something I'll apologize for, if I catch it or it's pointed out.

Purposely being impolite? Not my M.O. I was taught to be polite when I was a kid. But I don't think it's something we'll be perfected in until we're on the other side.

How do I deal with impolite people? Generally I assume they are having a bad day. Many times I complain to my husband about the situation and then forget about it.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,488
1,298
113
#3
Meh, I'm not always in a good mood and that sometimes looks like I'm being impolite. Something I'll apologize for, if I catch it or it's pointed out.

Purposely being impolite? Not my M.O. I was taught to be polite when I was a kid. But I don't think it's something we'll be perfected in until we're on the other side.

How do I deal with impolite people? Generally I assume they are having a bad day. Many times I complain to my husband about the situation and then forget about it.
Hi thanks for checking our this thread.Yes things can be going on in our lives that can definitely affect us.I guess we can all relate to this.I know that some environments politeness is expected like company receptionists,T.v presenters retail ect.
Some people are just well mannered due to their upbringing,culture ect...and yes I remember being told as a kid "always say please ans thank you"..😊
Good you have your husband to chat about things too coz things can really kinda other us..Much appreciate your comments here Genipher..👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
 

Bleed

Active member
Dec 8, 2019
128
87
28
#4
yes.... i think how one was raised takes a big role in how you interact with other people.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,061
3,175
113
#5
Politeness is a rather broad topic. And what polite is can even vary between social groups.
Wealthy people have a list of "polite" rules such as having various silverware and which pieces should be used for which portion of the meal. So having two spoons, for example, means each spoon is designated for a different food and using the wrong one could be impolite.
So should Christians learn the proper use and timing for each piece of silverware? Should Christians be adhering to this man made rule set so as to not offend this particular group?

How about holding a door for a woman? Some women find this offensive. Others appreciate it.

Attempting broad based rules of how people "should" behave doesn't really work.
 

TimothyGirl

Active member
Jul 19, 2019
187
152
43
#6
Hi there, I'm more of a silent participant here, it seems, but every now and then I feel inspired to write: like I am inspired to respond to your post.

I hear what you are saying and I know you are not talking about social protocol as much as general courtesy. There are so many facets to what you are saying that it's difficult to know which approach to take.

But as I was reflecting on what you wrote, I was reminded of two Christian friends that I have:

One is so polite it borders on nauseating... the other is so reserved that it comes across as rude.
Has my polite friend got an edge on my reserved friend? Should they take a page out of each other's books?
But when you get to know them, you realize that both my one friend's over-exaggerated politeness and my other friend's reservation are born out of insecurity.

Someone mentioned how they were raised has a large part to play. Absolutely!
And that's kind of where my mind got to in conclusion to what you were asking.

The thing is, we're not talking about "politeness" - or if I may use the word courtesy in place - of people in general: we're talking about the courtesy of Christians. It is indeed a shock when you come across a grumpy and rude person that you either find out that they are a Christian, or know them to be one. And yes, we all have our bad days - I do not deny that. But for me, it raises the question: are they growing? And sometimes the rudeness is as a result of the growth that is taking place - so there's no hard and fast rule here.

But what I've discovered about Christians today is that many of us become born again and think that's enough. It is enough to accept Jesus into our lives and have a basic knowledge of Salvation. But do we nourish ourselves in the Word of Life? (1 Timothy 4:6)
Peter says that we are to DESIRE the PURE MILK OF THE WORD that WE MAY GROW thereby... (1 Peter 2)
Paul's whole dispute with the Corinthians is that they are not growing into maturity but they are remaining "carnal Christians". Allow me to quote from 1 Corinthians 3:1,

"And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?"


I'd like to say that a rude, abrupt and grumpy Christian is generally a "Baby Christian".

I'm not saying that, as a Christian, you don't have your moments where you are rude, abrupt and grumpy! Trust me, we all have those moments! But rather if that is their consistent disposition, then it indicates that perhaps they are not growing in the Word and with that, the knowledge of Christ, like was intended?

So how do we go about our "little brothers and sisters"?
Are we to be polite in return and "heap burning coals on their head"?
What is politeness if it is not an EXPRESSION OF LOVE?

As I write, I keep being reminded of Romans 13:8,
"Owe no one anything except to LOVE one another, for he who LOVES another has fulfilled the law."

We can react to the rude people out there and allow them to "possess our souls" as we take umbridge to them and even judge them for their rudeness... or... we can allow their immaturity (because that's what it boils down to) to work on our character: to accept the challenge and extend the grace we would have liked to have received.

My Pastor always talks about these people in life that we encounter which unnerve us at times. He calls them two things:
The first is a mirror. Sometimes what is so offensive in other people is because deep down there, that thing is inside of us. How often do we come across a rude person and respond with rudeness in return?! All they did was surface what was inside of us... :eek:

And the second thing he calls them are chisels. God allows us to encounter difficult people to chisel out our imperfections and conform us to the image of Christ.

I started out by looking at rude, abrupt and grumpy Christians and pointing out their need for growth. I'm ending this by looking at our response to those around us and appreciating my need for growth.

Lord, may you teach us, may you grow us in your grace and knowledge of Your Son... May you give us an APPETITE for the Word to discover Your reflection there and become all of what we behold... May you work this by Your Spirit in our lives...

Should all Christians be polite? No. But we should all aspire to love one another as Christ loved us...
That love comes through knowing Christ, and that knowledge comes largely through spending time in the WORD... (1 Peter 1:22-23)
 
Oct 10, 2020
107
36
28
#7
God is love and he who lives in love, lives in God and Go lives il hlm.
1John 3:16. Maybe we can delete ‘polite’ and insert love. That would
give us a vese that says, love your neighbor as yourself. That is a
commandment so if we dont follow that we are hypocrits. Meaning
we are not of God. Reading scripture and living scripture are two
different things. It is our vocation to love as God loved us. If we dont
do that we should examine our conscience.

polite is different, it is like opening a door for someone. It is a mre basic
level
 
S

SigP226

Guest
#8
In the words of General Mathis: "Be Polite, Be Professional, But have a plan to kill everyone you meet".
 

true_believer

Well-known member
Sep 24, 2020
940
360
63
#9
Politeness is an outward expression of kindness and classiness. It's something that needs to be cultivated more in society.
But that doesn't mean being a doormat when dealing with nasty or unscrupulous individuals.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,597
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#10
I believe that Christians should be the world's most real people and drop the façade that they may portray on the outside.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,597
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#11
Politeness is an outward expression of kindness and classiness. It's something that needs to be cultivated more in society.
But that doesn't mean being a doormat when dealing with nasty or unscrupulous individuals.
I agree with your estimate especially the being a doormat aspect.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#12
Hello it's been a whole since I did a thread.Not sure where this thread should be posted..so I decided to post it here.
I was thinking about some situations I have been going through recently and certain things I have experienced over the years since I have been a Christian in regards to interacting with different people types.
One of the things that I have encountered the most is just how impolite people can be at times which iam sure you can relate to yourselves.Yet I have realised that if I experience impoliteness from another Christian it affects me more and I guess this boils down to a sub conscious expectation of a certain standard.My natural kinda default setting is naturally friendly,approachable,courteous and polite....yet when a situation arises I can be assertive and even honest with something that may no be agreed with or belived..So my natural polite way ect isnt a social weakness from say a low self esteem.
Yet I have had to handle Christian's whose natural default setting can be grumpy or impolite ect in ministry and even in social settings..Its never always easy sometimes coz that's just the way they are.We all have different personality types and characteristics yet basic politeness is something I think we somehow expect to see in other Christian's.
Funny politeness isnt righteousness coz many people who aren't Christian can be naturally amazingly polite and courteous.
So should all Christians be consistently naturally polite and courteous given the fact that we are Gods children ect?We are all a work in progress for sure but should politeness ect become a fruit we should all manifest and furthermore is this something we expect from other Christians?
How do you handle impoliteness when you encounter it from a fellow Christian?Nice to hear your thoughts?
Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:31)

I think the key that many people overlook here is the bit about "as yourself." So what does that mean exactly? It means something different for every person because everyone is different. Not everyone loves themselves the same.

Notice this clearly doesn't say "love your neighbor as they love themselves." Or "treat people the way they want to be treated."

This is about learning to love others like we love ourselves.

If we can't agree on what's polite then just get out of their way. There is one thing we can all agree on, though, and that's our need for food clothing and shelter.

As far as I can tell the minimum we should do is help if people need food, clothing, and shelter.