Should Christians Use Dating Apps?

[Lovette]

Courtship, yeah, not bad.

Arrangement, not bad, but all the successful arrangements i know, they still let couple to court each other for some time, let the couple make final decision. So basically that is a introduction with intention.

Yes, traditionally a matchmaker set up arragements, and then the could met and courted, at least heard the other one out for a bit, out of respect for the matchmaker. And that makes relationship a privilege only for those with such connections.

 

[seoulsearch]

It's of the world. I stay out of the world (as much as possible). I'm old and can tell stories I don't even believe. The world is LOST. The good news is Jesus has overcome the world. Find those you can love and let the Lord. You should definitely stay away from dating apps. I suspect you want more and that's good.

That said, not everyone is at the same place and we just hope and pray they entertain these apps with caution and MASSIVE discernment.

If I was looking, I wouldn't expect to find what I was looking for on a web site anyway. But I'm not everyone.

I was married once and no one will ever get what she got from me. Wanting a family was a one time thing as far as I'm concerned. I didn't get it, my fault. I'm a familyless family man. It can be rough sometimes. But I'm free, praise the Lord.

We're glad you're here, @dkontner.

I'm not 35 anymore, though a lot of people in that age think I am and seem to see me as a peer, sometimes asking for advice.

I appreciate their trust, but I'm actually in my 50's, so I'm really looking for people exactly like you -- those with a lot of life experience that others like me can learn from, but don't talk down to us in the process.

I've very sorry for your loss and that the family situation didn't work out.

If it's any consolation, you're in good company -- many here have similar stories.

My hope is that we can all keep each other company, all through the grace of God.

 

[seoulsearch]

May you find family in God.

Amen, and beautifully said, @Churchgoer!

 

[RodColeman]

Good, having a boyfriend is embarrassing anyway, "boy sober" is trending.

If you personally find having a romantic partner "embarrassing" (whatever that means)......then guess what? You can choose to stay single. Fine with us. No one here has tried to pressure you or convince you to date or marry, as far as I know. And if it bothers you so much to see other Christians date or get married, or express the simple desire to date or get married, well, that seems like a "you" problem. Why are you letting it affect you in that way? Just ignore them.

And if you want to judge those people, well, you're free to do that, I guess. But don't be surprised if people might not take that very well or if you get some pushback on that. No one here has judged you for your life choice, have they? Why not extend the same courtesy to others?

If you're a decent woman with an ounce of self-respect, why would you wanna be defined by your relationship and your partner?

Why do you assume that this is the mindset or motive of every woman who wants to date or marry? Are you a mind-reader? And didn't you say before that you don't even know that many women, personally?

And especially for a Christian woman, supposedly bought and redeemed by the blood of our savior, why would you still seek validation from men?

Some people have the general desire to be married one day. Doesn't mean they seek "validation" from men. Maybe some of them are. But how would you know that?

And just because you're a Christian doesn't mean you're forbidden from marrying. The Bible nowhere says that. The Bible actually condemns people who forbid marriage.

When would you still need this "missing half" or "significant other" when you're already complete in Christ? Don't you see that's just exploitation of your insecurity?

Do you know how, exactly, Jesus fulfills your romantic, marital, or sexual desires? He doesn't. That's why many Christians want to marry. That's fine. The Bible allows that.

Dating culture is a dying culture, even the most godless, most secular people have noticed how broken it is, I can't believe you guys as supposedly born again Christian are still defending it, as though it is still the good old days.

Then don't date anyone, Lovette. Stay single if you want to. Fine with us. No one here is trying to convince you to start dating.

I agree that this would be a bad idea for you.

I'm sure everyone here would appreciate it if you stopped judging people for dating or for being different from you. I understand, however, that this is a big ask.

I personally believe the purpose of this board should be encouragement for one another to defy the dating culture, the "happily ever after" and the "relationship escalator" narrative, to reject the shaming of singles, not to find partners in order to fit in.

Then why not start a separate thread, instead of blasting that message on every single thread here started by other people who genuinely have honest questions about singleness or dating? I mean, I think we all know about your strongly held personal views at this point. I don't think we need any more reminders. Though I'm sure you strongly disagree.

But the topic of this thread is a different one from the on your prefer. And not everyone here shares your particular view on that topic. Whether you like it or not. Differences in opinion, and a variety of perspectives, are completely normal in any online discussion like this. So it's good to respect them, even if you, personally, find them boneheaded and harebrained. Many people on this thread, I'm sure, desire marriage, but, as far as I know, they haven't pressured you to pursue marriage.

And, yes, we all know at this point that you, personally, prefer singleness. And yet you want to push it on everyone else, and then seem puzzled about why some might not agree with you.

I assume that this cycle will continue as long as you maintain an online presence.

 

[Lovette]

If you personally find having a romantic partner "embarrassing" (whatever that means)......then guess what? You can choose to stay single. Fine with us. No one here has tried to pressure you or convince you to date or marry, as far as I know. And if it bothers you so much to see other Christians date or get married, or express the simple desire to date or get married, well, that seems like a "you" problem. Why are you letting it affect you in that way? Just ignore them.

And if you want to judge those people, well, you're free to do that, I guess. But don't be surprised if people might not take that very well or if you get some pushback on that. No one here has judged you for your life choice, have they? Why not extend the same courtesy to others?



Why do you assume that this is the mindset or motive of every woman who wants to date or marry? Are you a mind-reader? And didn't you say before that you don't even know that many women, personally?



Some people have the general desire to be married one day. Doesn't mean they seek "validation" from men. Maybe some of them are. But how would you know that?

And just because you're a Christian doesn't mean you're forbidden from marrying. The Bible nowhere says that. The Bible actually condemns people who forbid marriage.



Do you know how, exactly, Jesus fulfills your romantic, marital, or sexual desires? He doesn't. That's why many Christians want to marry. That's fine. The Bible allows that.



Then don't date anyone, Lovette. Stay single if you want to. Fine with us. No one here is trying to convince you to start dating.

I agree that this would be a bad idea for you.

I'm sure everyone here would appreciate it if you stopped judging people for dating or for being different from you. I understand, however, that this is a big ask.



Then why not start a separate thread, instead of blasting that message on every single thread here started by other people who genuinely have honest questions about singleness or dating? I mean, I think we all know about your strongly held personal views at this point. I don't think we need any more reminders. Though I'm sure you strongly disagree.

But the topic of this thread is a different one from the on your prefer. And not everyone here shares your particular view on that topic. Whether you like it or not. Differences in opinion, and a variety of perspectives, are completely normal in any online discussion like this. So it's good to respect them, even if you, personally, find them boneheaded and harebrained. Many people on this thread, I'm sure, desire marriage, but, as far as I know, they haven't pressured you to pursue marriage.

And, yes, we all know at this point that you, personally, prefer singleness. And yet you want to push it on everyone else, and then seem puzzled about why some might not agree with you.

I assume that this cycle will continue as long as you maintain an online presence.

Do you have any point? Other than scoffing? You wanna worship the idol of "relationship escalator" from "love at the first sight" to "happily ever after", go ahead, my point is exactly to blast that false idol. How about you prove to me that dating was a historical and biblical practice ordained by God? The bible I read says man shall join his WIFE and two become one flesh, not any random woman, not girlfriend, not even fiancee, but WIFE, nothing about dating on Adam's own accord, God carved an Eve out of him and joined them together. You don't like what I'm preaching, just go in peace, God bless.

 

[RodColeman]

Do you have any point? Other than scoffing? You wanna worship the idol of "relationship escalator" from "love at the first sight" to "happily ever after", go ahead, my point is exactly to blast that false idol. How about you prove to me that dating was a historical and biblical practice ordained by God? The bible I read says man shall join his WIFE and two become one flesh, not any random woman, not girlfriend, not even fiancee, but WIFE, nothing about dating on Adam's own accord, God carved an Eve out of him and joined them together. You don't like what I'm preaching, just go in peace, God bless.

And how do you propose one meet a "wife" in the modern age, exactly?

 

[Lovette]

And how do you propose one meet a "wife" in the modern age, exactly?

Public festivals, mutual friends, professional matchmakers. If none of these are available, forget about it and submit to God's will. Each person has their own way, there's no one size fits all recipe - such as dating app. Who am I to dictate anybody's love life?

 

[RodColeman]

Public festivals, mutual friends, professional matchmakers. If none of these are available, forget about it and submit to God's will. Each person has their own way, there's no one size fits all recipe - such as dating app. Who am I to dictate anybody's love life?

So there's no one-size-fits-all-recipe. And yet dating apps are the one method that we absolutely shouldn't use. Alright, then.

What does it matter? You can't "date" someone over an app. And app is just a tool to find a person who seems interesting. Then, if you start up a conversation and find each other interesting, you can arrange an initial in-person meeting. Meeting someone at a festival, through mutual friends, or a matchmaker, will also, eventually, in one way or another, lead to an initial in-person meeting.

This in-person meeting is called a "first date." The point of the first date is to find out if you want to go on a second date. These dates will then determine if you find each other interesting, attractive, and compatible enough for an actual romantic relationship.

It's really not that complicated.

(And you do, in fact, seem to enjoy dictating other people's dating lives, from what I've read on this forum. )

 

[Lovette]

So there's no one-size-fits-all-recipe. And yet dating apps are the one method that we absolutely shouldn't use. Alright, then.

What does it matter? You can't "date" someone over an app. And app is just a tool to find a person who seems interesting. Then, if you start up a conversation and find each other interesting, you can arrange an initial in-person meeting. Meeting someone at a festival, through mutual friends, or a matchmaker, will also, eventually, in one way or another, lead to an initial in-person meeting.

This in-person meeting is called a "first date." The point of the first date is to find out if you want to go on a second date. These dates will then determine if you find each other interesting, attractive, and compatible enough for an actual romantic relationship.

It's really not that complicated.

(And you do, in fact, seem to enjoy dictating other people's dating lives, from what I've read on this forum. )

The almighty algorithm enjoys dictating all users' dating lives, not me. Those apps are a game, persons who seems interesting could be a bot or catfishing, calling it a tool is false advertising.

 

[RodColeman]

The almighty algorithm enjoys dictating all users' dating lives, not me. Those apps are a game, persons who seems interesting could be a bot or catfishing, calling it a tool is false advertising.

Oh. They could be. Interesting choice of words.

 

[Churchgoer]

Whatever method is used, parental introduction, pen pal.... the key is meeting in person.
I heard from Indian friends, they all have the freedom to meet in person and decide for themselves.

 

[Lovette]

Oh. They could be. Interesting choice of words.

while you're awfully boring.

 

[RodColeman]

while you're awfully boring.