Should I force Sunday school on my son?

[kaylagrl]

at 9 years old would you let him skip elementary school, middle school and high school?
just to play games and watch youtube?

i think you're fine.
he's trying to bend you to his will, and maybe yeah making himself sick doing it - but he's just a kid, and it's not his job to be in charge of such things. it's your job to teach him that in this life he will have to do many things that he doesn't particularly desire to do - not because he wants to do them, but because it is necessary they be done. recognizing such things and carrying them out is part of him becoming a man, and that's a process - a process of him growing up.

And there it is right there. My parents took me to Sunday school. Years later my father had some issues and stopped going to church for a time. And I was the first one there, not letting him use excuses to pushing him to get back to church. We all continue to this day to attend church. One of the best things my parents made me do. Post is right, he needs to go the same as going to school. It's more important.

 

[Handyman62]

2nd Tim and Handyman, I'm sorry that this has become an argument for you two. I do appreciate your input. I see where you're coming from Handyman, and I'm sorry for your pain. Hopefully Christian women aren't the ones that would do those things, but sadly sometimes the label doesn't mean much. You'd never believe it if you really heard my story, but if you need someone to hear yours, feel free to send me a message outside of this thread.

I appreciate you responding to me. I am under an extreme amount of stress right now and have been for a for awhile and sometimes it gets the best of me when children are involved.
We all have logs in our eyes and and I let mine bring out the worst of me. This is not directed at you as you have been very graceful but I do take offense when others with logs in their eyes think they are the dully elected ones to correct me. Jesus is the one to do the correcting and it is only he who I will listen to.

I say this and I truly mean it. I pray that your son excels at Church and his understanding of Gods word and what he has in store for him.

P.S. I may take you up on you offer of private communication but only if I get to hear your story also.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

This is not directed at you as you have been very graceful but I do take offense when others with logs in their eyes think they are the dully elected ones to correct me.

Holy cow. You lashed out at her with horrific correction . . . and now you're upset with those who tell you to back off?

Can't even make this stuff up.

 

[KarynLouise]

I appreciate you responding to me. I am under an extreme amount of stress right now and have been for a for awhile and sometimes it gets the best of me when children are involved.
We all have logs in our eyes and and I let mine bring out the worst of me. This is not directed at you as you have been very graceful but I do take offense when others with logs in their eyes think they are the dully elected ones to correct me. Jesus is the one to do the correcting and it is only he who I will listen to.

I say this and I truly mean it. I pray that your son excels at Church and his understanding of Gods word and what he has in store for him.

P.S. I may take you up on you offer of private communication but only if I get to hear your story also.

Get ready for some long stories!

 

[Handyman62]

Get ready for some long stories!

I will be in my comfy chair with my feet up.

I just found out that I can't pm you without being a paid member and to be honest I can't afford any more cost right now.

 

[KarynLouise]

I will be in my comfy chair with my feet up.

I just found out that I can't pm you without being a paid member and to be honest I can't afford any more cost right now.

I understand.

 

[ChristianTonyB]

I appreciate you responding to me. I am under an extreme amount of stress right now and have been for a for awhile and sometimes it gets the best of me when children are involved.
We all have logs in our eyes and and I let mine bring out the worst of me. This is not directed at you as you have been very graceful but I do take offense when others with logs in their eyes think they are the dully elected ones to correct me. Jesus is the one to do the correcting and it is only he who I will listen to.

I say this and I truly mean it. I pray that your son excels at Church and his understanding of Gods word and what he has in store for him.

P.S. I may take you up on you offer of private communication but only if I get to hear your story also.

I admire the OP for her conciliatory approach.

Many of us have gone through relationship breakdowns and their consequences, and have been treated unfairly. As I said in my previous comment to you, I understand where you are coming from. My ex wife and the man she was having an affair with, and the courts that don't accept adultery as bad parenting, equally destroyed two families and took my two and dearest young daughters, aged 6 and 4, from me. The hurt of that betrayal and loss goes deep, and you never get over it completely, but that does not give me the right to lob hand grenades at anyone in the church that may appear to be of the same ilk as my ex wife, that is God's privilege, not mine, and neither is it yours. Besides our concern for Karyn Louise's emotional state taking a hit, 2TG and myself were obviously also concerned on who and where else you might decide to toss another grenade at.... that is another reason why we stood in front of you and said whoa, and I'm absolutely confident we have Jesus' support in that!

 

[Handyman62]

I admire the OP for her conciliatory approach.

Many of us have gone through relationship breakdowns and their consequences, and have been treated unfairly. As I said in my previous comment to you, I understand where you are coming from. My ex wife and the man she was having an affair with, and the courts that don't accept adultery as bad parenting, equally destroyed two families and took my two and dearest young daughters, aged 6 and 4, from me. The hurt of that betrayal and loss goes deep, and you never get over it completely, but that does not give me the right to lob hand grenades at anyone in the church that may appear to be of the same ilk as my ex wife, that is God's privilege, not mine, and neither is it yours. Besides our concern for Karyn Louise's emotional state taking a hit, 2TG and myself were obviously also concerned on who and where else you might decide to toss another grenade at.... that is another reason why we stood in front of you and said whoa, and I'm absolutely confident we have Jesus' support in that!

I'm confident that anything you have to say to me on this matter is meaningless and only meant to make yourself feel good.

 

[Handyman62]

I admire the OP for her conciliatory approach.

Many of us have gone through relationship breakdowns and their consequences, and have been treated unfairly. As I said in my previous comment to you, I understand where you are coming from. My ex wife and the man she was having an affair with, and the courts that don't accept adultery as bad parenting, equally destroyed two families and took my two and dearest young daughters, aged 6 and 4, from me. The hurt of that betrayal and loss goes deep, and you never get over it completely, but that does not give me the right to lob hand grenades at anyone in the church that may appear to be of the same ilk as my ex wife, that is God's privilege, not mine, and neither is it yours. Besides our concern for Karyn Louise's emotional state taking a hit, 2TG and myself were obviously also concerned on who and where else you might decide to toss another grenade at.... that is another reason why we stood in front of you and said whoa, and I'm absolutely confident we have Jesus' support in that!

I apologized and have moved on, but apparently that's not good enough for you and others on here. I suggest you check that log on your eye.

 

[ChristianTonyB]

I'm confident that anything you have to say to me on this matter is meaningless and only meant to make yourself feel good.

You are just showing your true character here, and I hope KL is astute enough to see how flawed it is. FWIW, I have reported your attack on KL to the administrator. Now I had a discussion with him previously when he sought financial support for the group from me, and I said I wouldn’t until he showed me that he is able to provide adequate supervision of the group. You have failed your test, I hope for his sake that he doesn’t fail his.

 

[GardenofWeeden]

At 9, yes make him go. At 15, you might consider letting him choose, but at 9 he is too young to be making possibly life altering decisions for himself.

 

[Handyman62]

You are just showing your true character here, and I hope KL is astute enough to see how flawed it is. FWIW, I have reported your attack on KL to the administrator. Now I had a discussion with him previously when he sought financial support for the group from me, and I said I wouldn’t until he showed me that he is able to provide adequate supervision of the group. You have failed your test, I hope for his sake that he doesn’t fail his.

I see your lack of forgiveness a pretty good example of your true colors.

 

[Runningman]

Yeah you’re going to want to indoctrinate your children with as much Bible as possible. They’ll think it’s boring compared to YouTube and video games at first, but with enough time they’ll learn to love it.

Not to step on your toes, but you might want to raise your children with a strong work ethic, respect for authority, and a healthy fear of consequences. He’s a bit old now, but by age 4 he should have been washing dishes and help clean the house before play time. Play time comes at the end of the day and is a low priority.

Of course this is the West and child rearing seems to be more focused on freedom rather than long term success. It’s not too late, good luck and best wishes.

 

[KarynLouise]

Yeah you’re going to want to indoctrinate your children with as much Bible as possible. They’ll think it’s boring compared to YouTube and video games at first, but with enough time they’ll learn to love it.

Not to step on your toes, but you might want to raise your children with a strong work ethic, respect for authority, and a healthy fear of consequences. He’s a bit old now, but by age 4 he should have been washing dishes and help clean the house before play time. Play time comes at the end of the day and is a low priority.

Of course this is the West and child rearing seems to be more focused on freedom rather than long term success. It’s not too late, good luck and best wishes.

He does have his chores. Thanks!

 

[tourist]

I don't buy it. To many married women will say anything to justify their bad decisions. Besides scripture doesn't support that excuse anyway.
Not to mention you married man brought a child into the world, then decided the father was unstable. Why didn't you find out he was unstable before all that?
Perhaps you need to look within yourself for the fault and not the childs father.

The guy was abusive and cheated on her. The guy is now with another woman. @KarynLouise does not have to justify anything to anyone. She is certainly not at fault here.

 

[shittim]

He does have his chores. Thanks!

That is what I have noticed in amish and mennonite families, everybody has a job. That is great to hear.
I know He wants to encounter you and your son soon.
blessings

 

[ChristianTonyB]

He does have his chores. Thanks!

Nice pic of you and your son in the background, and the scene.

I remember my time living on a farm at his age. It was such an awesome experience, caring for animals, horse and bike riding the paddocks and country lanes around about, helping with harvesting and the like. Fixing and building things, even at that young age. Playing with kids on adjacent farms. It was such a rewarding experience, and one I will never forget. We were brought up in a religiously ritualistic denominational background, and sadly there was no one there that explained about God’s creative genius and provision to us, but farm life did teach us how everything had a place and a use, to be resourceful, and to work in harmony with our environment.

It isn’t easy to do, I know, but if I had children and could provide the essentials for them and myself, I would head out to live on some acreage somewhere, only as big as I could manage myself, and bring my children up there. There they would be distracted by goodly things, rather than what is being served up by the world, and sometimes by various religious institutions. I’d homeschool them, and hopefully find social and play interaction opportunities for the children with like-situated families in the region.

Just saying!

 

[JohnDB]

My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.

Its separation anxiety.

It's not regular school that he goes to 5 days a week..this is just Sunday school.

There were times when I was that young that I had that...so did my wife. We talked about it when discussing our childhoods.

Most children go through this. And after all the quarantines and less going out all the time to various places it's actually rather normal behavior....no need for anything rash or harsh or even counseling to make him feel further from normal than anyone else.

Just remind him of all the fun things he gets to do there...how much he really likes it every time he goes.

And if you explain to him that this is just anxiety and that he feels nervous but it's not anything to really feel nervous about he will be able to grow emotionally. He is nine... probably really smart intellectually for how young he is. But that doesn't mean that his emotional maturity is in line with his intellectual maturity. And for a nine year old that's rather normal.

Kids throw fits over eating vegetables or meat or having to brush their teeth or taking baths or going to bed.
All of which is juvenile behavior because they are juveniles.

And since your divorce he just needs a bit of reassurance that you love him and like him. Even though you and his father divorced that in no way means that you could ever stop loving him.

 

[Jesusfollower]

My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.

Hi KarynLouise,

I think the video games are very addictive, limit the play for max 1 hour per day, as for youtube the same, limit exposure. You are the boss not your son, he must learn to respect your wishes but be gentle and explain why in terns he can understand at that age... Teach him the commandment about honoring mother and father...its important he is not to young to learn the 10 commandments.

Bless,

J.F.

 

[presidente]

My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.

Is he safe at church? Do you send him off to a children's church where you do not know what happens? You could go with him to children's church or else have him in the big meeting. Ask him if there is any reason he is upset about going to church or any reason he experiences pain there.

If it's just wanting to play on YouTube, etc. you could tell him if he throws a fit, no YouTube or video games for a week (or a few days or whatever.)