Here are my thoughts, and I believe that I have the mind of Christ.
If you're hoping to ever get married, then you, as a man, ought to be focusing upon yourself and what you need to do to become the type of man who will love his wife as Christ loves the church.
Stop and meditate for a moment on exactly what type of love it is that God requires of you.
It's the most selfless and sacrificial display of love that this world has ever known, and that's what God requires of you in a marital relationship. It's going to take a lot of repenting and sanctification on any man's part to become that type of man, so don't worry about what women are doing, and get started working on yourself immediately.
Hey, you asked...
When you talk about love, don't forget wisdom. There are many men out there, christian and non-christian men, who loved their wives but whose love for their wives didn't stop their wives from being unfaithful to them. Sometime around 2001, I let someone who had no place to live stay with me. I had the love right; but I had no wisdom. This person sensed this and absconded several days later with my bike.
The Bible never issues out single character traits like it does some blessings and the gifts of the Spirit; rather, the Bible tells believers to get
a plurality of godly character traits. Why? Because just one godly trait is never sufficient.
"Wisdom is the principal thing, therefore, get wisdom; and in all your getting, get understanding" (Proverbs 4:7). So, men shouldn't think that God only requires them to have love for their wives; they're to have wisdom too (
"the principal thing") as well as other godly traits.
As for marriage, if it was up to me, the thought of marriage would never cross my mind and would remain the fairytale story it actually is (unless God is truly involved). I have a good eye and ear for fraud and would make a wide circle around marriage and would just casually date and sleep around, and then I'd hope God would forgive me before I died. Jesus chose for His apostles some really rough-hewn men rather than nice, religious men. This is because God can trust people-- especially men-- who are 'indeed sinners' better than He can trust those who seem to be good as God has something real (ie. repentance) to work with when He deals with 'genuine sinners'.
God doesn't want nice men (neither do women) or men who are favorably biased towards women. God needs and is looking for men whose origins are lying face up in the dirt and sitting up with dirt falling off them, naked and unafraid. This is a man as God created him to be-- rough-hewn and independent-- yielding only to God's chisel on his frame and bending only to God's wishes instead of being weak or vulnerable to the opinions, emotions, and nagging of women or the arrogant, prideful, and ignorant performance of men. This is the way God designed all men and is the way all men are supposed to be until God (not women or men) puts His hand on them. Then God can have a genuine frame and mold to work with to make what He wants to make.
These days, most men aren't the original mold, and when God goes to work on them, it's much harder for Him (and for them) as a result. So, God makes men for His glory and makes women for His (and the man's) glory. This means that when a man is, as you said, 'working on himself', it is for his sake first and for God's sake. Then it's for his wife's sake (if he'll even marry), for his children's sake (if he'll have kids), for the Body of Christ, and then for everyone else's sake. Before God adds marriage to a man, the man's 'success' (ie. all the things a man needs and that make a man complete, whole, happy, fulfilled) is always firstly for the man's own sake (so he can love himself and enjoy his own company) and for God's sake (so he can love God and enjoy God's company). This combination makes a male a man from the core outward and was the foundational design from the start in the Garden of Eden. It remains the same design now.
