Are you sure the point of God impressing those scooby doo cartoons on you wasn't to remind you that guilty liars are always exposed and found out? That's a comforting thought that aligns with scripture. Well comforting unless you are a guilty liar.
Singles: How often do you go to church?
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passion84god
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I am sure that God knows everything about me, you, and everyone in that all things are naked and open unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.
I am also sure that this type of atmosphere isn't beneficial to anyone, so I will leave it.
I am also sure that this type of atmosphere isn't beneficial to anyone, so I will leave it.
Yeah that's the other thing. God has corrected me before through a sister at church, when I wasn't where I should be, but I figured it was okay because it wasn't hurting anybody.
Same for me, so happy God used people in church to correct me. What a blessing it turns out!!!!!!Yeah that's the other thing. God has corrected me before through a sister at church, when I wasn't where I should be, but I figured it was okay because it wasn't hurting anybody.
Praise to God.
Very few ‘christian’ single people go to good churches that teach standards. Many want to have the freedom to party with a clear conscious.
I fully understand your frustration and I can raise you a level of exclusion. Single men without children are automatic Chester. Apparently no man without kids should have any desire to have/be around children. Not welcome at the church equivalent of Boy Scouts. Can’t go fishing/camping with the guys.
This is why America is over. Our birthrate is too low to recover. All the support is for couples and children, zero support to start a family. We are told “just wait for God to drop someone on your lap” and when that doesn’t happen you’re cut out of everything. When you decide to leave the church, no one will ever talk to again (as if the did while you were there).
In a way it’s not their fault. The previous generation went to church, met other believers young and married. They are completely blind to the world we live in. They can’t help because they didn’t face those challenges.
At one time I said to myself I would not volunteer at churches unless they paid me. I quickly repented of that. While I do think the church should take more responsibility for its members, I have to remind myself; we owe our service to God/church, not the other way around. If I am rewarded/paid by the church, what reward would I have in heaven? Jesus said to lend to those who can’t repay so that our reward can only come from God. We are supposed to do all things as unto the lord.
Does the church deserve my free labor, probably not. Do I deserve the free give of Christ, definitely not.
The video game church.
No seriously I think some of us are churched out atm.
Some of us lost our 'religion' but I think many of us keep the faith.
Some people cannot handle more than say 10 people at once. Groups of 2 or 3 gathered in His name are good. Doesn't need to be a big show, or always the same people every single week.
I'm really not a sit down, stand up kind of person although that is what attending church is like for many, very formal, hymns, 3 point sermon, collection plate, benediction, small talk afterwards. For some this never changes and it's a good thing to have some kind of routine. In others its just the mega-churchy noise and death-by-powerpoint, flashing lights and drumkits.
I don't really fit in with either, but its ok EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT
Churches are not the traditional cradle-to-grave institutions anymore, but I think that can be a good or bad thing. I think in America it is like that, people can worship how they want. They can even make up their own religion.
It is definitely not like that in other countries.
No seriously I think some of us are churched out atm.
Some of us lost our 'religion' but I think many of us keep the faith.
Some people cannot handle more than say 10 people at once. Groups of 2 or 3 gathered in His name are good. Doesn't need to be a big show, or always the same people every single week.
I'm really not a sit down, stand up kind of person although that is what attending church is like for many, very formal, hymns, 3 point sermon, collection plate, benediction, small talk afterwards. For some this never changes and it's a good thing to have some kind of routine. In others its just the mega-churchy noise and death-by-powerpoint, flashing lights and drumkits.
I don't really fit in with either, but its ok EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT
Churches are not the traditional cradle-to-grave institutions anymore, but I think that can be a good or bad thing. I think in America it is like that, people can worship how they want. They can even make up their own religion.
It is definitely not like that in other countries.
I will add, most/all of these negative thoughts are just lies from the enemy. A partial truth is still a lie. Those that faithfully support the church come under attack.
This point of view carries the inherent assumption that the church is a corporate entity - like a grocery store or barbershop, a place you go to get something.
My church is more like a group of people who formed a group to patrol the neighborhood or maintain the city park: we are trying to do something to help the people in this area, because they are our neighbors, we have something they need and we want them to have it too.
I run the church sound booth because I want the service to sound good. I vacuum the floor because I want it to look nice. I pay tithes because I want the air conditioner to have power and the church bus to have gas.
People come to our church needing God, and we can show them the way to find God. I want that to keep going. So I keep doing these things, because I want them to be done.
My CC keep-in-touch group was talking about these issues earlier.
I've mentioned this on the forum before, but a married pastor at the church I listen to online said that the time is fast approaching when it's estimated that 60% of people in church will be single.
It's going to happen in our lifetime, and I suspect that's going to change the entire landscape of churches as a whole. I could be wrong, but I think this is the first time in history when the church will consist of a majority of single people rather than married.
I suspect single people are no longer going to settle for going to churches where they are governed by the married and expected to just meekly play along.
How will the married react when the majority of the church is now single?
And what will catch the church even more off guard is that it won't be the stereotypical "single person" that many church people seem to see all singles as being.
We've seen the shift right here in our own Singles Forum. When I started here in 2009, the Singles Forum was mostly people in their mid-20's to around 40. Now I would guess it's mostly people who are around 35 - right on up to 70's and above. Sure, there are young singles out there, but most are no longer here.
I know I've harped on this a lot, but it's a prime example of how I hate how singles often get treated. Not long ago, we had a 56-year-old man come in and scold us singles that we were "too young" to know anything about love or marriage. He quoted a certain user's post.
That user happened to be a 71-year-old man who is married and had already lost his previous wife to an illness. He had lived out the entire marriage covenant, including "'til death do you part." But yet here someone came in, automatically assuming he was a "typical single" and talked down to him because of it.
Jiminy Crickets, is that ever frustrating!!!
It makes me VERY appreciative of the married friends we DO have here who are understanding and fun to be around, rather than those who are preachy and condescending.
What the church in general doesn't seem to recognize, or is willing to acknowledge, is that a good number of singles these days aren't just 20-somethings who are just starting out in life.
Rather, there is a large single population in their 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, and 90's -- and growing -- and I don't think the church has ever dealt with something like that. These aren't newbies. They're people who have decades of life experience, and most churches don't seem to know what to do with a 25-year-old single, let alone the single who's 60, divorced or widowed, has 3 grown kids, is helping to raise 6 grandchildren -- but still really hopes that God still has a plan to see them remarried.
A pastor at another church I listen to who is my age (50's) was talking about the challenge of ministering to singles and the divorced who are now older, often older than him, who think it's perfectly fine to have sex and/or live together because they say, "celibacy is great for teenagers, but I'm a grown adult." Apparently they don't realize there is no "aging out" of God's principles.
But this is what the church will be facing -- policing middle-aged and senior citizens on how to conduct their lives, all while these singles are facing things like supporting adult children who can't find jobs, grandchildren whose parents can't pay for them, and taking care of aging parents, along with their own health and financial issues.
I've known some people who are also having problems trying to keep older singles in the family from going bankrupt because they're just SURE that hot 35-year-old, whether real or online, REALLY wants to be with someone 25 years older than them -- even though that person asks for money during every interaction.
How is the church going to deal with this, seeing as it seems like churches often can't even meet the needs of their congregations in the present?
I don't know the answers.
But I'll be very curious to watch this shift take place in full swing over the next few years.
And, I always have to remember that God calls me to be part of the church...
Which means I also need to be regularly asking God what I can be doing to help.
I've mentioned this on the forum before, but a married pastor at the church I listen to online said that the time is fast approaching when it's estimated that 60% of people in church will be single.
It's going to happen in our lifetime, and I suspect that's going to change the entire landscape of churches as a whole. I could be wrong, but I think this is the first time in history when the church will consist of a majority of single people rather than married.
I suspect single people are no longer going to settle for going to churches where they are governed by the married and expected to just meekly play along.
How will the married react when the majority of the church is now single?
And what will catch the church even more off guard is that it won't be the stereotypical "single person" that many church people seem to see all singles as being.
We've seen the shift right here in our own Singles Forum. When I started here in 2009, the Singles Forum was mostly people in their mid-20's to around 40. Now I would guess it's mostly people who are around 35 - right on up to 70's and above. Sure, there are young singles out there, but most are no longer here.
I know I've harped on this a lot, but it's a prime example of how I hate how singles often get treated. Not long ago, we had a 56-year-old man come in and scold us singles that we were "too young" to know anything about love or marriage. He quoted a certain user's post.
That user happened to be a 71-year-old man who is married and had already lost his previous wife to an illness. He had lived out the entire marriage covenant, including "'til death do you part." But yet here someone came in, automatically assuming he was a "typical single" and talked down to him because of it.
Jiminy Crickets, is that ever frustrating!!!
It makes me VERY appreciative of the married friends we DO have here who are understanding and fun to be around, rather than those who are preachy and condescending.
What the church in general doesn't seem to recognize, or is willing to acknowledge, is that a good number of singles these days aren't just 20-somethings who are just starting out in life.
Rather, there is a large single population in their 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, and 90's -- and growing -- and I don't think the church has ever dealt with something like that. These aren't newbies. They're people who have decades of life experience, and most churches don't seem to know what to do with a 25-year-old single, let alone the single who's 60, divorced or widowed, has 3 grown kids, is helping to raise 6 grandchildren -- but still really hopes that God still has a plan to see them remarried.
A pastor at another church I listen to who is my age (50's) was talking about the challenge of ministering to singles and the divorced who are now older, often older than him, who think it's perfectly fine to have sex and/or live together because they say, "celibacy is great for teenagers, but I'm a grown adult." Apparently they don't realize there is no "aging out" of God's principles.
But this is what the church will be facing -- policing middle-aged and senior citizens on how to conduct their lives, all while these singles are facing things like supporting adult children who can't find jobs, grandchildren whose parents can't pay for them, and taking care of aging parents, along with their own health and financial issues.
I've known some people who are also having problems trying to keep older singles in the family from going bankrupt because they're just SURE that hot 35-year-old, whether real or online, REALLY wants to be with someone 25 years older than them -- even though that person asks for money during every interaction.
How is the church going to deal with this, seeing as it seems like churches often can't even meet the needs of their congregations in the present?
I don't know the answers.
But I'll be very curious to watch this shift take place in full swing over the next few years.
And, I always have to remember that God calls me to be part of the church...
Which means I also need to be regularly asking God what I can be doing to help.
I should mention, for the record, that back in 2014 when I joined the forum, some people asked if I had been here before. They said I had a familiar style. It was probably because I was conversant with forums in general.
Something else I think the church is going to have a tough time dealing with when ministering to older singles... Sorry for all the rambling but this has heavy on my mind for a while.
It's relative "easy" to scold 20-something singles who are young, just starting out -- and usually don't have a lot of money or influence.
What are churches going to do when they have to try to lecture, rebuke, and excommunicate older singles who insist on doing what they want -- and are the ones with the time and money to keep the church running?
We all know teenagers are going to go their own way.
From my observation, older people who have lived a full, often difficult life full of challenges who now have a little more time and money -- are even less likely to just sit back and meekly obey if someone tries to tell them "no."
I suppose it's an age-old question, but I wonder what's going to happen when the church will be forced to either compromise their values (as we're seeing with the alphabet mafia), or stand up to the majority of members who are keeping the lights on and staff employed?
It's relative "easy" to scold 20-something singles who are young, just starting out -- and usually don't have a lot of money or influence.
What are churches going to do when they have to try to lecture, rebuke, and excommunicate older singles who insist on doing what they want -- and are the ones with the time and money to keep the church running?
We all know teenagers are going to go their own way.
From my observation, older people who have lived a full, often difficult life full of challenges who now have a little more time and money -- are even less likely to just sit back and meekly obey if someone tries to tell them "no."
I suppose it's an age-old question, but I wonder what's going to happen when the church will be forced to either compromise their values (as we're seeing with the alphabet mafia), or stand up to the majority of members who are keeping the lights on and staff employed?
I go to church to give my part of the body and to glorify God. I don’t get a whole lot out of the sermon most Sundays. I love to worship
And I serve wherever there is a need. I don’t give to get but I always am blessed anyway, you know what I mean? I can confess to this: I have not wanted to church for over 50 years ( yes every single Sunday) but I go and am always glad that I did. We need to plug in, get to know people and trust that God has us where we need to be. What do I need? Somehow God knows what it is and keeps my cup overflowing.
I dunno... My pastor has never phrased it that way. He has never told us we have to do anything or we can't do anything.
He puts it like Moses put it to Israel. (Though I've never heard him make this comparison himself.) He tells us this is the way to live. He can back it up with the Bible and he can back it up with his own experience. That is a much worse way to live. He can back that up with the Bible and with his own personal experience. Choose to follow God and live or choose to not follow God and have a pretty crappy life. Your call.
*waving frantically!*
Hi @Ablazing!
Welcome, and so good to see you here in the forums!!! Hope to see you more in the future.
Thank you for sharing, and for your honesty.
I often fight myself because there are many, many times I don't want to go to church -- but know I have to in order to somewhat "stay in line."
I often hear other Christians talk about how they can't wait to go to church -- and I've always felt guilty for not having that same enthusiasm.
However, we do what we know we're supposed to do.
I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one who's felt this way!
It’s no surprise that many will fall away or grow cold. If we can’t take being disciplined when we go astray then wow, we are in the wrong place, right? I want to be in a ‘no compromise’ church and if I’m out of I would hope
That someone would lovingly set me straight. Sure it’s gonna sting but I would rather the rebuke of a friend then the kiss of an enemy. If there isn’t something for the singles? Start something! Pray about it.
Girl, it’s like all the demons attack me at the door: DONT GO! . I can’t remember the last time I wanted to go.*waving frantically!*
Hi @Ablazing!
Welcome, and so good to see you here in the forums!!! Hope to see you more in the future.
Thank you for sharing, and for your honesty.
I often fight myself because there are many, many times I don't want to go to church -- but know I have to in order to somewhat "stay in line."
I often hear other Christians talk about how they can't wait to go to church -- and I've always felt guilty for not having that same enthusiasm.
However, we do what we know we're supposed to do.
I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one who's felt this way!
Thanks for the fanatic wave and the warm welcome. It’s definitely new for me. We shall see how long I last. lol
I totally understand.
It's just that...
I know a lot of strong Christians who have been faithful all their lives -- and they're still living pretty crappy lives right now, to no fault of their own (serious, uncurable, chronic-to-fatal illness, whether for them, or in family members.)
For many of the people I know, there's a feeling of, "It doesn't matter if I lived the way God wanted me to -- it's all gone to the dogs anyway" -- they're just trying to hold on.
And it's truly heartbreaking to see.
Yeah... I don't really WANT to wash the dishes or change the trash either. But I do it because I like to use clean dishes and I don't want half the kitchen to be a big trash pile.
Some Sundays I go to church for the same reason I mow the yard. I don't really wanna, but I know I'm doing something I want to be done.
It’s no surprise that many will fall away or grow cold. If we can’t take being disciplined when we go astray then wow, we are in the wrong place, right? I want to be in a ‘no compromise’ church and if I’m out of I would hope
That someone would lovingly set me straight. Sure it’s gonna sting but I would rather the rebuke of a friend then the kiss of an enemy. If there isn’t something for the singles? Start something! Pray about it.
Yes...
It's one thing when we see the church compromising on things we might not personally relate to, like homosexuality or trying to change your gender.
It's another thing when it hits very close to home, like a widowed father who is steeped in grief -- and wants to move in with the new girlfriend he just met (this is NOT my own family situation, but we are seeing this in my parent's peer groups.)
I'm fortunate to have close friends who have NO QUALMS at all about putting me in my place, lol!