So I Asked Him (or Her) Out And Then...

[seoulsearch]

Hey everyone!! For those of you who were brave enough to ask someone out on a date (whether recently, in the past, or you're planning to ask someone soon), how did it turn out? Good? Bad? Made you want to run and duck your head in the sand like an ostrich (been there!!)? Feel free to spill all... give us some pointers or advice (of what to do as well as what NOT to do...) or if nothing else, just cry on our shoulders!! When I was about 16, I had a huge crush on a guy I worked with (I think he was two years older) and finally worked up the nerve to ask him to a school dance. He was fairly polite... about turning me down flat--said he had to work. But then a few days later I found out he was working in the MORNING (obviously, the dance wa later that night), did NOT have to work the next day, AND a friend of mine who was a year younger (he had told someone I was too young) had asked him out a day or so after I did for the very same night (different event) and he accepted. DATING. BAH, HUMBUG.

 

[ChristopherMichael]

That sucks seoulsearch. It's better that he politely rebuffed you, rather than taking you to the dance and being unhappy and checking out other girls the whole time. There're worse things than being shot down!

The last person I asked out said yes, and was all giggly and happy about it. I'm not going to lie, I usually don't ask people out unless I'm super sure they'll say yes. Not a big fan of being shot down.

- Topher

 

[sweetnshy]

Well the first time I admitted to a guy I liked him, he said he wasn't really looking for a relationship...then of course a week or 2 later, he was dating someone else. And that has happened with every single guy since then! I tried about 3 or 4 times and finally said I wouldn't go after a guy again, and hoped that one would approach me instead...which never happened.

 

[Rissa77]

one turned me down because i reminded him too much of his sister... or his mom.

i'm like.... dang. lol you had to go there

 

[ChristopherMichael]

Well the first time I admitted to a guy I liked him, he said he wasn't really looking for a relationship...then of course a week or 2 later, he was dating someone else. And that has happened with every single guy since then!

Yeah, that's a classic nice-guy shoot-down line. That sucks!

- Topher

 

[Rissa77]

i want to bring this thread back to life. it's a good one.

one time, when i was 12 or 13, i was at a school dance, and a very nervous little boy came over to ask me and i laughed in his face. lol
he walked away with his head down, but it didn't last long. 5 minutes later he was dancing with another, older girl.

 

[sportygirl]

Hmmm, I've always been a chicken of asking people out. I guess the idea of rejection terrifies me, I even struggled telling teh guy who had just admited to having feelings for me the week before that i was interested. I did eventually, after a weeks worth of debating, I was hoping if I just flirted enough he would get the hint, and he sorta did, but he thought I still liked the other guy to. I wish I had asked more people to go with me, apparently people just couldnt tell I was intersted...you would think knowing this would make more likely, but not so much haha.

 

[DABEARS85]

Are these all bad stories? I haven't had a whole lot of bad experiences... but... well lemme think!

One time I was at a club, and there was this girl that I SWORE was checking me out like... ALL night. I was with a group of friends... guys and girls... and I just kept noticing her. She was with her friend, and they were just sitting at a table really. I went up and danced with a couple of my girl friends a few times, but I didn't really dance with any new girls. The girl that was staring at me... well... she was GORGEOUS to say the least. Her friend wasn't too shabby herself. This made it 10 times harder for me to get the courage to go up to her, because... well... she was hot! I felt a little out of my league I guess.

Anyway, I saw one guy go up there and ask her to dance... and she shut him down HARD. He was older than me... probably 26 to 30 or so... and he walked away and was talking bad about her. I guess she turned him down in a really mean way lol. He was pretty mad when he left anyway. That didn't exactly help my situation for going up and talking to her, but I eventually got the courage and did it anyway.

Well, I went up to the two girls by myself. I couldn't even get a wingman to come up with me, because they saw how bad she shut the last guy down, and nobody wanted to get embarrassed like that! They all kind of watched me though, and I knew if she shut me down that hard, well.... I would hear about it! Great friends, huh? haha.

So, I casually made my way to their table, freaking out inside my head, although I didn't let it show on the outside. I had a drink in my hand and just walked up like it wasn't a big deal. I actually went for the friend first, because in my mind, the key with girls that are that hot... and know it... is to talk to the friend first. The less hot friend is easier to talk to, she enjoys that someone talks to her instead of the hotter friend (although she was still very pretty), and overall it doesn't go so bad. I talked to her and just said hey, how are you, I'm chris... just noticed you two over there and just wanted to say hi. They were actually very friendly, and I think the friend was kind of into me. She was very pretty, but I had noticed to hotter friend on her right the whole time looking at me, and so eventually... I asked that girl to dance.

What happened? BAM! A bright flash of light struck my eye and blinded me! Was I slapped? Was I seeing a vision? Did I die? None of the above. The rock on her ring was so big it literally flashed a stream of light in my face so bright I thought I was staring into the sun. She was married!!! I said congradulations, and I complimented her on her 10 pound diamond ring. She said thank you, and that was it.

I walked away, and I wondered... why did those girls look at me all night? Why would a married woman stare at me all night, only to whip out her ring when I asked her to dance? Then it hit me. HER FRIEND! SHE was the one that actually was interested in me, and I blew it. I went for her married friend instead like an idiot, because naturally, I figured the hotter of the two girls was the one that was interested. There was no way to salvage the situation after I asked her hotter married friend to dance, and so I ruin it pretty badly.

I guess it wasn't a terrible way of getting shut down, but... it showed how clumsy and stupid us guys can be sometimes

 

[seoulsearch]

Wow, DABEARS...

You are really... making me wish I had a 10-pound diamond ring to fend off all the hoards of other guys with!!!

LOL!!! Just kidding!!

When I was married, my engagement ring was actually a cubic zirconia (cost about $100) because we were both broke college students and I didn't want him to have to go through the expense.

Next time, maybe I'll splurge and go for a 15-pound one instead... (gotta beat that 10-pound record, after all, even if it's just a piece of cut glass!)

 

[jan7700]

hi dabears.. love your viewpoints! i'm from nova scotia just joined the site ..janine......

 

[InkedFaith]

My theory is the worst thing that could happen is someone say "no".

When i was 18, maybe 19 I ha the biggest rush on this beautiful 24 year on i was doing a few photo shoots with and i just didnt know what to say or do about it. I kept thinking of the best pick up lines ever and then picking them apart and just being so intimidated.

I finally get the best pick up line ever and decide to use it but before i can the apparel rep grabs me and make me change again. So now this girl and i are doing the choot and displaying different outfits in the same scene. She is just awesome and we are joking around and everything so i finally ask her to dinner...

"Sure" she said my her whole demeanor changed she got closed off and everything. So when were done for the day we change and i take her out to eat but i choose a Sports Bar cause i love the wings. Dont laugh at me i was 18, i know now that is now the date spot. But she completely relaxed and we had a blast. Later i found out that she just didnt know any good places in the city we were in and I knew it well. So she saie yes so she idd eat room service for the thrid say in a row then felt guilty thinking she was leading me on. Buy yeah we had a great time and it turned out to be a good thing for many many reasons.