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MLN76

MLN76

Member
Jan 31, 2012
44
6
8
50
Des Moines, Iowa
My story began in January this year. I had come, finally, to a place of repentance and my heart was lit with fire from heaven. Over the summer I grew distant and disappointed with myself for not walking in the truth I had been shown about my past. To be blunt, and sorry ladies, I have to say...I may not have jumped into bed with a stranger, or started up a unhealthy relationship with anyone...but in my heart I have...over and over.....and over again. And I'm tired of not having the assurance that comes with a clean heart and honest mouth. I have become cynical and hardened. I don't like it.

This weekend the man I consider a grandfather to me passed away. I had been working with his daughter, a distant cousin, to get him into a home, as he had been given months to live. A few times a week I visited him, but this weekend, he lost his battle with COPD. I had planned to ask his daughter to go to church with me while she was in town, and since he passed on Saturday, I thought it would be even more important to get us there. We went. And I know I'm still alive inside somewhere...but the fire needs stoking. If I can just get that...it will blaze. I know who He made me to be, what He wants me to be...and I keep running away in fear and rebellion. I just need that "push" to keep going back...even when I screw up.

Anyway...I know this is a all little disjointed, but please just pray. I don't even know what to pray for. I'm tired. A full time student. No job. Been working at grandparents house every day to get things moved out. The place is a mess. Funeral plans. Family dealing with all this. Feel like I'm in the middle of a hurricane. This all would have been so much easier if I had been following closely.

Thanks all.
 
When the storm came, Jesus calmed the sea.
Praying for you for all you ask and need in Jesus Christ is Lord.

God bless:)
pickles
 
...and if He doesn't calm the sea, He keeps us in the midst of the storm. :)
So we praise Him for the storm, and whatever He chooses to do in it.

I am praying for His grace, which I can see he has been pouring out on to you for a long time. :)
It's grace that moves us to come to Him, and grace that allows us to see our need.
It's grace (His kindness) that leads us to repentance. (Rom. 2:4)

I will keep praying.

Grace to you, and peace with the Father, in the love of His Son,
-ellie
 
If you let Him...
God will use this to make you stronger!
I'll be pray for you too
Love in Christ, Shekaniah
 
Sometimes the storms come because your heavenly father is saying I want to spend time with you.

Father God, I pray you help this young man grow closer to you and bring him comfort in the passing of his grandfather.

Jeremiah 29:13-14
13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity.
 
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