From my experience woman always play the 'friends first' card, but honestly, I think it's just a textbook formality- that is, they don't want to appear to be 'easy'. After all, what does 'friends' even mean these days? 'Hang out' and 'Friends' are among the most loosely used terms. They just roll of the tip of peoples' tongues!
I met a girl back in september and we spoke for a few minutes then exchanged facebooks. I saw her around a couple (maybe two) times after that and decided to send her a message asking her to coffee, as I figured it was a friendly gesture to get to know each other. I assumed the least she would do is have the decency to respond, I mean, we had the same outer circle of 'friends'. No response. A couple weeks later I found out from a [I guess mutual?] friend that her and her roommate thought it was strange.
I'm no idiot, I'm not going to ask a girl on a full fledged 'date' via facebook message, but seriously, coffee? Give me a break! There are a lot of women out there looking for Prince Charming, reverse polarity and there are as many men out there looking for Snow White. Humble yourselves! Honestly, these days I'll be happy to find a woman who can cook!