spiritual struggle

Tumi · Jan 6, 2020

Hello
Ive been struggling to return to going to church. I've been dealing with trying to forgive my previous church for an incident that had occurred. I also have been having lots of questions because not only am i a woman but i am also a person of colour and just looking to how my faith has been used as a weapon to hurt harm destroy and abuse. I am not saying that Christianity is bad but i have just been going through this struggle for a while now. How can i resolve it and return to fellowshipping and fix my relationship with God?

WingsOfLight · Jan 6, 2020

Hi Tumi,

I'm very sorry that you had to experience a negative outcome in a church.
That's not how it's supposed to work. Real Christians know better than to mistreat someone for any reason. You can fix your relationship with God by accepting the fact that He is on your side no matter what, and I'm sure He is not happy with how you were treated. Please continue to believe in him and you can even do Bible Study at home. I do that. I enjoy self study. Keep a close relationship with God at all times, for He knows what is true in your heart. Keep in mind that there are good Christians and not so good Christians out there. Do not let the not so good ones make you feel any less. You're better than that kind of behavior from them.

I'm hoping you find a church that is accepting and kind and considerate of your presence. You deserve the best Christian treatment possible!
You are a wonderful person and God has your best interests in hand, no matter how other people act toward you, or what they say.

Also, keep friendships with those who are worthy of your time.

oyster67 · Jan 6, 2020

Tumi said:

You need to allow your eyes to be opened to fact that God so loved Tumi that He gave the precious life of His dear Son Jesus for her. Christianity is not, at it's deepest core, about a physical church and another of many world religions. It is about finding a beautiful relationship with your Maker and the Lover of your soul. Please read these verses now and then talk one on one to the Lord about them. He is waiting for you right now.

John 3
3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
3:19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
3:20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
3:21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

Blade · Jan 6, 2020

Look... do you see HIM? The one that died for you..loves you like no other. And every time you goof up.. His arms are never closed and when you cry and FEEL bad.. He forgives.. and says.. never came to condemn you. He is always telling you how much He loves you and all the WONDERS He has made was.. for YOU! He gives and gives and gives. Look at HIM! DON'T take your eyes EVER off HIM!

See them through His eyes. So many people... never saw one lost or saved but He was crying and crying so hard. For not one knew how much He loved them. He blessed you with something THEY need. And He gave them something you need. Go for HIM not..forgive me.. not you. Love never thinks of its self. Never sees faults. See if we give it to HIM then HE will do something. But if we take it.. He will do nothing. For WE took it and He will not go against our will.

Church finding. In Glendale Calf one day this man came to our door. Was a preacher. YEAH RIGHT? Whens the last time you seen that. We went to that Church for years. Well we moved to Colorado and one day.. JUST talking to God.. lol.. you know not praying seeking ..just talking. I said "Father remember when that preacher (Bob) came to our door? We don't what Church to go to be nice if that happen again" I was playing. And had been in Colorado for years. Never even asked from my heart before that.

Well about a week later at night there was this knock on the door. I go and this older guy was asking if we knew so and so. I said sorry no. He said thinks turned and walked away then stopped. I heard him. He said "no.. God would not have me go to wrong house for no reason". Comes back gives me this card. A preacher and believed as I do the whole word of God!

Sis... your FATHER.. hello GOD and do anything. JUST believe. KNOW He hears you.. KNOW He is for you NEVER against you. He ALWAYS gives LOVES to give. As ASK..KNOWING He hears you..KNOWING He will lead you to the Church HE wants.. HE if thats what we really want

bless you in Jesus name. And praying.. and you will find one very soon. In Jesus name.

Lightskin · Jan 6, 2020

Tumi said:

Why is this relevant to attending worship?

DesertWanderer · Jan 6, 2020

Tumi said:

Lightskin said:

It can make a difference. I am from the southwest. A few years back, I attended a Catholic service where I was the only non-Hispanic person. It can get uncomfortable. Unless you have been in her shoes... you really don't know.

DesertWanderer · Jan 6, 2020

Tumi said:

Hi Tumi, just so I am clear, is it you who has used your faith as a weapon, or is your faith being used as a weapon against you?

Tumi said:

1. Confess your sins often, confess them early, and confess them fully to the Father, in the name of Jesus
2. Ask for forgiveness
3. Read the book of John and get familiar with Him again
4. Stay on this forum, and keep asking questions
5. Listen to CSN or Moody radio
6. Try and find a bible study group within your demographic group (to start off with, at least). These people may be able to help you one day find a church home. Later, it will be easier to embrace a larger diversity of believers.

As far as your injury caused by other believers, that will never completely go away. I liken it to a rotator cuff injury. You have to just manage it. The pain will come back once in a while. But with proper management, you can get through life just fine with it.

I want you to always remember, however, those who are true believers have no "color." In the Father's eyes, we all look like Jesus

Lightskin · Jan 6, 2020

DesertWanderer said:

She lives in Botswana; not many prejudice Hispanics in those parts.

Tumi · Jan 7, 2020

Thank you for the scriptures and the messages

I grew up going to different churches in my home country some which are very diverse. When i did live in the USA i had a great church family. An open baptist church which was mostly white but it was a great experience. After returning home i joined another baptist church that was little bit more modern. The problem came about as i got older and started reading more and being exposed to more information i just started noticing how people have used scripture to oppress people, taking scripture out of context for their own greed or interest, how cases of abuse get covered up, ...etc

dodgingstones · Jan 7, 2020

Tumi...

I see 2Timothy2.15 is a verse you like. I suggest you read the whole Chapter and see how it applies to your situation. God bless...

Tumi · Jan 7, 2020

dodgingstones said:

Thank you that really helped

it really hit hard

Thank you

oyster67 · Jan 7, 2020

Tumi said:

Just remember that Jesus is not like most "churchpeople". He is much better than that. Get to know Him in a personal way, then help them find this true way. There are many others just like you out there. Let Jesus love you and heal your soul, then He will use you to help the others. God bless you, dear sister.

IlovelivingforJesus · Jan 7, 2020

Tumi, I have experienced being misused and hurt in the congregation. I also know of many others. God taught me how to handle it. Give God all your problems and he will show you what to do. Keep seeking God daily. God bless you I am praying all your needs are met by God this very moment in Jesus name Amen.

DesertWanderer · Jan 7, 2020

Lightskin said:

You're putting words in my mouth, dear friend. I did not say the people in that church were prejudiced against me. I simply stated that being in a church as a minority can be uncomfortable. I'll give you another example:

I was attending a church for a while where if you were under the age of 79, you felt like an outsider! Different churches sometimes attract a certain demographic group. That is all I am saying.

I certainly do not wish to spin a one-sided argument about race. We have the news media for that!

Lightskin · Jan 7, 2020

DesertWanderer said:

I don’t wish to argue but I was calling you out on the following:

“Unless you have been in her shoes... you really don't know.”

You weren’t putting words in my mouth but you were being rather paternalistic. As far as being unwelcome in various congregations, unfortunately it happens all too often and it ticks me off.

Martin Luther King Jr said more than 50 years ago the most segregated hour in America is Sunday morning 11 AM. It still holds true today.

mar09 · Jan 7, 2020

Tumi said:

Hello
Ive been struggling to return to going to church. I've been dealing with trying to forgive my previous church for an incident that had occurred. I also have been having lots of questions because not only am i a woman but i am also a person of colour and just looking to how my faith has been used as a weapon to hurt harm destroy and abuse. I am not saying that Christianity is bad but i have just been going through this struggle for a while now. How can i resolve it and return to fellowshipping and fix my relationship with God?

Hi tumi,
Welcome to CC!
Be praying for you.

Magenta · Jan 7, 2020

dodgingstones said:

Here is some more of 2 Timothy 2; I designed this after reading your post

DesertWanderer · Jan 9, 2020

Tumi said:

I saw this reply the other day and didn't have time to respond, but I feel compelled to do so now:

It seems the buzz-phrase for the new Millenium is, "Taking scripture out of context." The atheists like to use this to try and persuade Christians that a single verse can never stand alone by itself. Please be careful not to fall into this trap, because it is certainly not true. For example, there is one single verse in the bible that sums up the entire Gospel:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

If you only memorize one verse in the entire bible, most believers agree, that would probably be it. Or how about our need for Jesus? Put simply:

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Rom. 3:23

Also, I don't think Jesus was trying to manipulate Nicodemus when He emphatically stated:

"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God." John 3:3

But many would have you believe that since these verses are often quoted by themselves, that somehow we are trying to manipulate and oppress people. This is merely a feeble attempt by atheists and others to shirk their responsibility to follow God. That's really what it boils down to. They have a singular desire to worship themselves.

I would gently remind you that every word written (or spoken) outside of the bible is a potential poison for the Christian. We have to be really careful about what we read, especially online. I know this to be true since I have often fallen into this trap myself, many times. I don't want you to make the same mistake.

May God richly bless you as you follow Him.

JaumeJ · Jan 9, 2020

Tumi said:

This actually began in the Issrael of the Old Testament. Jesus upbraided the Pharisees for their handlign of the law and the prophets.

It continued with those who were joined to the Hebrew teachings while the Apostles and Paul were spreading the Word., and dhas continued ever since.

Reading the New Testament you will see that it is noted that the spirit of Apostasy was already amon those who had come to Yeshua, or if your prefer, to Jesus.

Apostasy now abounds fulfilling prophecy- The Word is True though every man be alse. Lean on our Savior and all will be well.

Journeyman · Jan 9, 2020

Tumi said:

Hello
Ive been struggling to return to going to church. I've been dealing with trying to forgive my previous church for an incident that had occurred. I also have been having lots of questions because not only am i a woman but i am also a person of colour and just looking to how my faith has been used as a weapon to hurt harm destroy and abuse. I am not saying that Christianity is bad but i have just been going through this struggle for a while now. How can i resolve it and return to fellowshipping and fix my relationship with God?

Hi Tumi. I find it helps to look at Jesus's example of forgiveness.

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