sporadic thoughts - need help

[ciicii]

I am gonna send you a video that will walk you out of that darkness.
A lot of people are advising you and giving you all kinds of advice. Some of it is fairly good, but I don't see any of it that's gonna walk you out of darkness like what I can send you in the video

thanks i will give it a watch. i have been a bit better these past weeks tbh every has been very helpful with their testimonies and just being open in general. isolation seems to amplify things a lot so it is nice to be able to share here

 

[ciicii]

You're very welcome, I know how difficult this can feel without companionship and fellowship. Do you use discord? I'm very active on there and would love to connect.

Yes please, prayers are always appreciated regardless of the intention, and you will be in my daily prayers as well Ciicii.

i will pray for you then too and your daughter then, thank you.
yes i use discord too your welcome to message me there too np

username is the same just
ciicii
oinkiepie_104

 

[Psalm1]

You are in a demonic attack.
Satan hates you.
He can not destroy you.
He wants to destroy you.

So use this time to get understanding and move into victory.

Get an overdose of Kenneth Hagin, and watch what happens..

I was in your exact same shoes 30 years ago. I was so far down I could not see the bottom.

Then some friends brought me the tape by having.
It transformed my walk.

Don't let anything keep you from
Watching his videos of him preaching.
The fake ones do not have archived video.
Do not listen to the fake ones.

Again...you will thank me.

 

[StoneLion]

i will pray for you then too and your daughter then, thank you.
yes i use discord too your welcome to message me there too np

username is the same just
ciicii
oinkiepie_104

Thank you for your prayers, on both our accounts. God bless you
I have the same name on there too, sent a friend request

 

[Eve14ever]

Sorry for the typos i am just going to write this down and leave it here, I honestly can't really write this out consecutively so i am just putting all my bigger issues out there for advice or opinions ig idk thanks

1. Fake christian hate other believers. I am havign issue with this because my pastor has been ticking me off, on a very bad day i will say P.Oed. because I know his heart is in the right place of being hopeful and all that but with my circumstances 28 child loss and now losing a husband in the most disgusting way and stuck living with him and all that like I am just heart broken and done and have no real sense of self worth or anything. But I am wondering if I am hating other christian now. I dont’ feel any particular way but I am angry and bitter, nto at my pastor specifically but I am annoyed by him talking to me in general and asking for updates and stuff when the truth is that nothing has or will change for the better any time soon. I am in survival mode and have been for a couple years now with each year getting harder so I don’t have the energy to pretend to be happy. But that maikes me feel bad when I show i am not happy and just here to worship and go home because i know not going to church is a recipie for disaster so I go ….
2. How do i know God knows me? I read through luke 13 and 14 and I have always tried to prioritize having a relationship with God especially right now, but I have been suffering a lot and i do see ways that god has provided but the providing is always in areas that are for survival not rest. And I am so tired that parts of me are doubting … i guess everything. Like am I just doing things in a christian lens becuase i am a stubborn person? I think I know God I try my best to read his word every day or on bad days listen to small pocket sermons so there is something. But does now me, how do I know? On top of that there has been so much suffering that at this point idk if this is all in vein. Lik I was praying about benign separate from God and thinking of life after death becuase that is all i can hope for at this point, and scared to the thought of what if i want heaven for relief and not for God? Doesn’t that mean i am not goin gto make it then?
3. Wantign relief in a specific way. I want relief with family children and a husband but if that doesn’t happen then i just want God to take the desire away and i have had neither. I am trying to be content with what has been provided but there is always sadness and i can’t get rid of it. Like I am just existing (barely)

Hello Beloved...
In response to #1 Jesus said, John 15:18 "If the world hates you, know that it hated me first." As followers of Christ, we carry our crosses and it's not a cake walk, it wasn't easy for our King and it's not easy for us. It's not about being happy Beloved yet it IS all about a real, honest to goodness relationship with Christ which is a spiritual thing, not a human one.
#2 It's a sign of your soul needing growth for you to ask what you ask in #2, this is a good thing Beloved, you are most likely being refined by the Lord via various life experiences. Why seek Church when it is the Lord Jesus Christ whom you require? Reach to Him Beloved, reach to Father for He and Father are One. Talk aloud to Him as a child would speak to her Father, He LOVES you and desires VERY much to fill in all the gaps in your life yet in order to do that you need to reach to Him personally. He gives us freewill in the hope that we would find our way back to the One Who loves us most.
#3 With God ALL things are possibly however we have to make Him first in our lives and I think you already know that He is not first with you. Father and Jesus are both very very real and they are active in the lives of those who love Them. Once they are a part of our lives, even though we may still face storms, they don't defeat us, we get back up stronger, wiser and better for having survived.
I very much desire from my heart to help you through this difficult time. I want you to know our King because you are worthy of this Beloved, now make your King, Father, Savior and Lord feel worthy, place them first and then They will help you build a more fulfilling life in which not only will your lips smile yet your heart as well. I hope these words help.

 

[Citizen]

thanks i will give it a watch. i have been a bit better these past weeks tbh every has been very helpful with their testimonies and just being open in general. isolation seems to amplify things a lot so it is nice to be able to share here

I'm so glad to hear you're doing a little better.

Word of caution, especially since you are so vulnerable right now: I highly suggest researching the false teachings of Kenneth Hagin before jumping into anything. Here's a few of his quotes -

“The death of Jesus Christ was not a physical death alone. If it had been a physical death, Abel would have paid the price for mankind. He was the first man that died because of honoring God and His Word. If it had been a physical death only, it wouldn't have worked! And if He hadn't died spiritually, that body never would have died.” (Kenneth Hagin, What Happened From the Cross to the Throne, Tape #00-0303)

“He (Jesus) tasted spiritual death for every man. And his spirit and inner man went to hell in my place. Can’t you see that? PHYSICAL DEATH WOULDN’T REMOVE YOUR SINS. He tasted death for every man. He’s talking about spiritual death.” (Kenneth Hagin, How Jesus obtained his name tape # 44HO1 side 1)

Compare to the Bible -

Heb 10:19 Since therefore, brethren, we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh...

Col 1:20 and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross; 22 yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless

1 Pet 3:18 For Christ also died for sins once for all, in order that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh…

1 Pet 2:24 and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.

I just wanted you to be aware and beware. If you're interested, here's an in-depth introduction to the Word of Faith movement's teachings [founded by KH], and you can decide for yourself: LINK

Have a blessed evening!