Sticky: Jokes.

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CaptainGoat

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What did the boy say when he got himself stuck in the mud?
"I'm stuck in the mud!"

OK. You lot can do better... Keep them clean.

What is brown and sticky? A stick!
 
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Hear about the guy who was caught trying to blow up a bus?
He was taken to hospital as he had burnt his lips on the tail pipe.

(Gosh, I'm turning American in my jokes!)
 
​This thread made me smile (:

I don't know many jokes, so I googled it. :D I liked this one...

Q.How do you catch a squirrel? A. Climb into a tree and act like a nut.
 
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A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."

The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
 
what does a married man fear more than going to jail for doing something foolish with his friends?....

Going home to explain to his wife why he was late coming home!!!
 
Desertsrose said:
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."

The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Click to expand...
Hahahahaha Too cute!
 
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?"

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
 
joke-joke-joke_o_218465.jpg


(Just to let you know, I have no soul!)
 
What's the last thing that goes through a flies mind as it hits the windscreen of a car?

Its arse
 
A woman is taken ill and her friend calls for an Ambulance. The operator asks for the
address and the friend says 51 Eucalyptus Street. The operator asks her to spell it
There is a pause and then the friend replies If I drag her to Elm Street can the Ambulance
pick her up there?
 
I went to town the other day and I was looking for some camouflage coloured trousers, but I couldn't find any anywhere.
 
I was standing in the park and in the moment I was wondering, why does a Frisbee get larger the closer it is to you? And then it hit me.
 
I know dozens of jokes, but here are a few that I made myself....

Q: When a flower is learning to drive, what is one thing you NEVER say to it?
A: Put the petal to the metal.

Q: What arachnid tends to go on long tirades?
A: A Ta-RANT-ula.

Q: How do you encourage a pixie when it finishes an assignment?
A: "You did a fairy good job".
 
Greeneyedwriter said:
I know dozens of jokes, but here are a few that I made myself....

Q: When a flower is learning to drive, what is one thing you NEVER say to it?
A: Put the petal to the metal.

Q: What arachnid tends to go on long tirades?
A: A Ta-RANT-ula.

Q: How do you encourage a pixie when it finishes an assignment?
A: "You did a fairy good job".
Click to expand...
That last joke could get you arrested for a hate crime. Funny though. :)
 
For more comedic nonsense...

Q: What happened when the nightcrawler tried on a sweater for the first time?
A: He enjoyed being WORM and cozy.

Q: What happens when you cross a bison with a draft horse?
A: You get an animal that shoehorns its way into everything.

Did you hear about the steamroller that paid the flounder a compliment? The fish in question was quite flattered.
 
A boy tells his parents 'My Teacher really likes me. She keeps putting kisses beside my Maths answers'.
 
Love is like Central Heating. You switch it on before visitors come so they think its warm in your home all the time.
 
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