I don't know if you really understand your life at all. See your an eternal spirit. Your life is housed inside your body. The physical body allows you to live within the world. But the moment you die all that happens is your life force goes either to heaven or hell where you will continue to live for all eternity. You've heard this. And fortunate for you that know about it. Cuz the moment you kill yourself you won't cease to exist. Within seconds you'll be in a lake of fire. Why? Because you were told, you know what's on the other side and you did it anyway. That's why. You'd have no excuse. Besides I doubt you'd kill yourself anyway. I know your not the type. The reason is that people who are gonna kill themselves don't talk about it hoping to get attention. Your one of these types that just want attention. So you cry wolf by saying you'll kill yourself hoping that a bunch of people will pander to you. Look at some point you got to take control of your mind, body and spirit. You're letting this stupid crutch of emotional discourse continue to dictate your life. Why don't you just give up all that? And just focus on building a normal fun enjoyable happy successful life for yourself and the people around you? Quit burdening everyone with this whinning and complaining about how you got it bad. You know there's people in Africa your age who barely have enough to eat? You have no concept of that. You know there's people in south America your age who live there lives at the city dump among all the filth, smell, decease and crap. They work all day in the hot sun sifting through garbage hoping to find just enough to eat. Yes they eat the garbage to try and survive. ....Oh right, but you got it bad right? What about the people at the hospital, dieing of cancer or aids. They're bodies are so feeble that they can't even walk. Just wondering how many hours they might have left. Wishing they could have another chance at a healthy body to go out and run and play. To go play sports, to travel, to laugh and go out with their friends. Instead they have to lay there in pain counting down the hours. Yes the hours they have left until they die. Ohh right, but you have it bad I forgot. You have it so bad. Like come on, get a grip. You need to put your problems into proper perspective. There not that bad. And stop being so selfish. Stop thinking about yourself so much and go out there and see what you can do to help someone else just for once. Someone out there could use your help right now. Go find them and do something good for someone and stop whinning about your so insignificant issues. And again get control of yourself. Look the way to do that is you have to start doing some affirmations. You have to start retraining your brain. Cuz your brain is in control of your right now. It's not you. It's this thing you've built up in your mind that keeps going off. It's a pattern that keeps replaying itself. It plays I need to feel bad and feel like ending it etc etc. And your mind plays that and you lose control. You don't know what to do. So you come on here and you let the pattern play out in your posts etc etc.. People reply, you feel a bit better. You stop, then a while later your back to running the same pattern in your mind and your back to posting. Your back to trying to talk to a counceller. So listen, there's one councellor you need to talk to. It's YOU!!! Stop thinking that something out there is gonna heal you or help you. Just help yourself. Becoming your own best friend is a start. The way to do that is extremely simple. Just start saying "I like myself" over and over again each day. That's where it all starts. The reason is that will start to get rid of this stupid pattern in your mind that you've been letting run wild. Let the new pattern replace it. Let this new pattern of liking yoruself start. But you got to just start. So just say "I like myself" as stupid as that might sound. Build that up. Eventually you'll feel good again. You'll look back and you'll be amazed that you ever let all these negative patterns run your life. Stop letting them run your life so that you can get back to a normal decent fun happy enjoyable life. You'll never have that unless you work on taking back control of your mind. And just keep praying about it daily as well. Anyway that's all I can tell you. I was once very depressed and that worked wonders for me. Dear lord please help this person to decide that there ready for a change and to start doing something about it. Amen.