Thank you for actual advice. You're right. The situation is really touchy, and even if his marriage is annulled, i'm not sure I can be with someone who gave up our relationship in the first place and can't fully commit to his decision to listen to his parents. Plus, I'll probably be blacklisted by his parents, anyways, haha. He definitely put us all in a situation, and as the head of house, he should be much more discerning.
Super confused
- Thread starter Forloveandlife
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Thank you. To be honest, for a long time, I was angry at God for letting the marriage happen when there's clearly no romantic love there, while we had feelings for each other. I don't think we'll get to a sexual relationship, since we never ventured into that territory, don't see each other, and we don't keep in touch, but that's definitely something to be mindful of, too. I know that as of right now, even though sequentially I met him first, he's married, so I'm automatically "the other woman". That's a hard pill to swallow. I guess I don't really know wherewe go from here, with the clearcut feelings for each other. Even though we're far away and talk once or twice a year over coffee, this can't continue. If God has a plan for us, it's definitely not now.
True. As a woman of dignity, I left my home of 23 years to avoid contact with him and blocked him on all forms of media. Also as a woman of dignity, I speak to him with politeness when we chance meet and have honest conversation. Oh, and also as a woman of dignity, I acknowledge that the feelings he still has for me cannot be while he's married, regardless of how I feel, so I will not and have not acted on our feelings. I'm asking for advice and prayer, not snarky comments, thank you
What Demi means is, the two of you are most definitely on each other's minds. And each time you run into each other, that only intensifies those thoughts. Obviously he's not in love with his wife, or if he is, he cares more about his own happiness, and not yours OR hers. Maybe what you should pray for is, for God to take you off each other's mind and out of your respective hearts.
Thank you 
I dont know about him, and if he's been praying to stop having romantic feelings for me, but it's definitely something I've been asking for. I've even prayed that God doesn't let us see each other until I can fully look at him as nothing more than a brother in Christ. What sparked the orchid prayer last year was when we met at a funeral, (I know, nothing more romantic than funerals), and the pastor there spoke about how God gives us definite signs when we ask for clarity. We talked about it and agreed that the orchid was a good choice. We haven't met or spoken since, so he doesn't know about the orchid blooming. And to be honest, I dont think I'll disclose it to him if we do meet again. It's definitely been festering in my mind though, because I had thought for sure that the flowers wouldn't bloom. I told myself that we needed nothing short of divine intervention between us, and I have to be satisfied with Gods answer. And the fact that the flowers actually bloomed has been weighing down in my heart and killing me on the inside.
I dont know about him, and if he's been praying to stop having romantic feelings for me, but it's definitely something I've been asking for. I've even prayed that God doesn't let us see each other until I can fully look at him as nothing more than a brother in Christ. What sparked the orchid prayer last year was when we met at a funeral, (I know, nothing more romantic than funerals), and the pastor there spoke about how God gives us definite signs when we ask for clarity. We talked about it and agreed that the orchid was a good choice. We haven't met or spoken since, so he doesn't know about the orchid blooming. And to be honest, I dont think I'll disclose it to him if we do meet again. It's definitely been festering in my mind though, because I had thought for sure that the flowers wouldn't bloom. I told myself that we needed nothing short of divine intervention between us, and I have to be satisfied with Gods answer. And the fact that the flowers actually bloomed has been weighing down in my heart and killing me on the inside.
I'm not giving insults, no one here is. But it's awfully weird that your paths keep crossing, despite both of you living in different states. Could it be possible he's keeping closer tabs on you than you think he is? I mean, the two of you end up taking a trip to the same place, same hotel, rooms across from each other. That sounds like more than a coincidence to me. That sounds like a guy who desperately wants to be near you.
You're welcome. I don't know about the orchid, but maybe it was a different answer than you were hoping for. Maybe it was meant to give you hope that God will resolve this mess, for the best interests of all involved. God has someone in mind for you, but it's not this guy..
I don't know about the orchid, but maybe it was a different answer than you were hoping for. Maybe it was meant to give you hope that God will resolve this mess, for the best interests of all involved. God has someone in mind for you, but it's not this guy..
Thank you
I dont know about him, and if he's been praying to stop having romantic feelings for me, but it's definitely something I've been asking for. I've even prayed that God doesn't let us see each other until I can fully look at him as nothing more than a brother in Christ. What sparked the orchid prayer last year was when we met at a funeral, (I know, nothing more romantic than funerals), and the pastor there spoke about how God gives us definite signs when we ask for clarity. We talked about it and agreed that the orchid was a good choice. We haven't met or spoken since, so he doesn't know about the orchid blooming. And to be honest, I dont think I'll disclose it to him if we do meet again. It's definitely been festering in my mind though, because I had thought for sure that the flowers wouldn't bloom. I told myself that we needed nothing short of divine intervention between us, and I have to be satisfied with Gods answer. And the fact that the flowers actually bloomed has been weighing down in my heart and killing me on the inside.
I dont know about him, and if he's been praying to stop having romantic feelings for me, but it's definitely something I've been asking for. I've even prayed that God doesn't let us see each other until I can fully look at him as nothing more than a brother in Christ. What sparked the orchid prayer last year was when we met at a funeral, (I know, nothing more romantic than funerals), and the pastor there spoke about how God gives us definite signs when we ask for clarity. We talked about it and agreed that the orchid was a good choice. We haven't met or spoken since, so he doesn't know about the orchid blooming. And to be honest, I dont think I'll disclose it to him if we do meet again. It's definitely been festering in my mind though, because I had thought for sure that the flowers wouldn't bloom. I told myself that we needed nothing short of divine intervention between us, and I have to be satisfied with Gods answer. And the fact that the flowers actually bloomed has been weighing down in my heart and killing me on the inside.
Thank you, maybe things just come off really differently through text on a screen. It just felt very offensive and like you were attacking me, rather than talking to me when you called me a side chick.
Well that definitely took a dark turn. I dont post about hotels and room numbers on social media or anything, that's for sure. Unless he has a random private investigator that somehow looked through company interactions with a hotel or something. My Seattle trip was a last minute thing, so he would have needed to get the information pretty quickly, seeing as he was there even before me. I guess looking back at it, it is a little weird, as we have met in ridiculous places. I went on vacation with a friend to Japan, and he was in an Airbnb down the street.
Well that definitely took a dark turn. I dont post about hotels and room numbers on social media or anything, that's for sure. Unless he has a random private investigator that somehow looked through company interactions with a hotel or something. My Seattle trip was a last minute thing, so he would have needed to get the information pretty quickly, seeing as he was there even before me. I guess looking back at it, it is a little weird, as we have met in ridiculous places. I went on vacation with a friend to Japan, and he was in an Airbnb down the street.
Thank you
I dont know about him, and if he's been praying to stop having romantic feelings for me, but it's definitely something I've been asking for. I've even prayed that God doesn't let us see each other until I can fully look at him as nothing more than a brother in Christ. What sparked the orchid prayer last year was when we met at a funeral, (I know, nothing more romantic than funerals), and the pastor there spoke about how God gives us definite signs when we ask for clarity. We talked about it and agreed that the orchid was a good choice. We haven't met or spoken since, so he doesn't know about the orchid blooming. And to be honest, I dont think I'll disclose it to him if we do meet again. It's definitely been festering in my mind though, because I had thought for sure that the flowers wouldn't bloom. I told myself that we needed nothing short of divine intervention between us, and I have to be satisfied with Gods answer. And the fact that the flowers actually bloomed has been weighing down in my heart and killing me on the inside.
I dont know about him, and if he's been praying to stop having romantic feelings for me, but it's definitely something I've been asking for. I've even prayed that God doesn't let us see each other until I can fully look at him as nothing more than a brother in Christ. What sparked the orchid prayer last year was when we met at a funeral, (I know, nothing more romantic than funerals), and the pastor there spoke about how God gives us definite signs when we ask for clarity. We talked about it and agreed that the orchid was a good choice. We haven't met or spoken since, so he doesn't know about the orchid blooming. And to be honest, I dont think I'll disclose it to him if we do meet again. It's definitely been festering in my mind though, because I had thought for sure that the flowers wouldn't bloom. I told myself that we needed nothing short of divine intervention between us, and I have to be satisfied with Gods answer. And the fact that the flowers actually bloomed has been weighing down in my heart and killing me on the inside.
You're welcome. I don't know about the orchid, but maybe it was a different answer than you were hoping for. Maybe it was meant to give you hope that God will resolve this mess, for the best interests of all involved. God has someone in mind for you, but it's not this guy..
I don't know about the orchid, but maybe it was a different answer than you were hoping for. Maybe it was meant to give you hope that God will resolve this mess, for the best interests of all involved. God has someone in mind for you, but it's not this guy..
God is definitely mysterious and great. That gave me a lot of peace and comfort.I've changed my phone and phone number when I moved, so I dont think he did? Also, all booking confirmations on that Seattle trip were done through company property, so I don't think he could have hacked that. I guess maybe he could have hacked my expedia or something regarding personal trips? If hes stalking me, then this thread just turned into something way uglier and sinister.
I have so many questions, but I’m on cc via my phone lol
1) forgive me for asking, but how old is he? I’m trying to understand how his parents forced him to marry when they were overseas, and he was in the States.
2) if his wife is from another country, and they have been married for about 4 yrs, has he tried to move her here?
Well, I guess regardless of the answers, he’s not available. God has given us the power of self control. Our minds will create all kinds of stories that give us false hope. But Holy Spirit can help us to discipline our thoughts.
I say, continue to live your life. Go out and meet people. Find interesting hobbies. I’m not saying you haven’t been doing these things. But maybe finding other things can help.
1) forgive me for asking, but how old is he? I’m trying to understand how his parents forced him to marry when they were overseas, and he was in the States.
2) if his wife is from another country, and they have been married for about 4 yrs, has he tried to move her here?
Well, I guess regardless of the answers, he’s not available. God has given us the power of self control. Our minds will create all kinds of stories that give us false hope. But Holy Spirit can help us to discipline our thoughts.
I say, continue to live your life. Go out and meet people. Find interesting hobbies. I’m not saying you haven’t been doing these things. But maybe finding other things can help.
He was 25, and I was 23 when this all happened four years ago. He'll be thirty this November. He said it was something about joining the families to pool in more missionary funds, and their parents agreed on the marriage before they even met the first time. His parents bought an engagement ring and told him to propose the first time they met.
He hasn't tried to move there because hes basically supporting the family through funding ( his parents, inlaws, and wife)... so it really doesn't make sense for him to move there. He would have jack squat and have to start from the bottom up when hes making good money here in the states.
Thank you~ I have been distracting myself with a lot and busy with rebuilding my life out here. It has been good, and it's really "those days" where I just end up feeling down, or when we do see each other and all the hurt and feelings come rushing back.
He hasn't tried to move there because hes basically supporting the family through funding ( his parents, inlaws, and wife)... so it really doesn't make sense for him to move there. He would have jack squat and have to start from the bottom up when hes making good money here in the states.
Thank you~ I have been distracting myself with a lot and busy with rebuilding my life out here. It has been good, and it's really "those days" where I just end up feeling down, or when we do see each other and all the hurt and feelings come rushing back.