thank you all 💗

[Darlene___m]

i hope you are all safe and happy out there with the people you have.

i am having a hard time trying to feel like i am doing my best but its not good enough.

one man commented “maybe you have the wrong partner”

which is terrible for me because now he thinks i am on here talking to other men.

i wish a good hearted man or person would talk to him to tell him that what he has is good.

he yells at me all the time saying im ungrateful and will never amount to anything that’s why i had nowhere to go because nobody wanted you because you dont want to grow up.

i have been trying so hard to make good choices for myself why can’t he see that i am still here and it’s impossible to go home because of lockdowns and restrictions on travelling.

 

[CharliRenee]

Hey dear Darlene. Good to see you again. I do not know enough info to fully understand, but it sounds like you are on the receiving end of some toxic and unfruitful words.

Constructive feedback and input that includes blatant character assassination and screaming serves no one. I am so sorry.

Can you go listen to praise songs, or spend some time in the word, maybe take some time in Epistles? Drown out the noise of mankind, especially ones that come at you without love, basic dignity and mindful consideration. I believe it is ok for brothers and sisters to be as Iron is to Iron, but what you are describing is just hurtful and again NOT fruitful. Can you remove yourself from this. If not physically maybe just go to a corner and worship the Cornerstone, Jesus Christ.

Again, my heart goes out to you. I am hugging you and hoping and praying His revealing strengthens and heals your inner dwellings.

Hey one more thing, is there someone near that you can comfort, that may help them and you too.

Btw, in Christ, you are a Child of God, so we know for a FACT you amounting to nothing is a BOLD LIE. So see you, through Christ, must try hard to bring Your focus to the goodness of God. Listen, I am redirecting myself a lot lately. I understand how hard that can be, He does too that is why He tells us to pray without ceasing. If there are takeaways in what anyone says to you in the midst of the insults, thank God and then just remember this...

Keep your peace, He will fight for you.

The other stuff thrown at you...

Lord take it from her, please.

 

[Magenta]

Hello Darlene I saw that comment you mentioned about having the wrong partner... are you telling us your partner saw it also? And has drawn some wrong conclusion from it? A lot of conjecture and questions arise from that if it is the case. Could you please clarify?

 

[Darlene___m]

Hey dear Darlene. Good to see you again. I do not know enough info to fully understand, but it sounds like you are on the receiving end of some toxic and unfruitful words.

Constructive feedback and input that includes blatant character assassination and screaming serves no one. I am so sorry.

Can you go listen to praise songs, or spend some time in the word, maybe take some time in Epistles? Drown out the noise of mankind, especially ones that come at you without love, basic dignity and mindful consideration. I believe it is ok for brothers and sisters to be as Iron is to Iron, but what you are describing is just hurtful and again NOT fruitful. Can you remove yourself from this. If not physically maybe just go to a corner and worship the Cornerstone, Jesus Christ.

Again, my heart goes out to you. I am hugging you and hoping and praying His revealing strengthens and heals your inner dwellings.

Hey one more thing, is there someone near that you can comfort, that may help them and you too.

Btw, in Christ, you are a Child of God, so we know for a FACT you amounting to nothing is a BOLD LIE. So see you, through Christ, must try hard to bring Your focus to the goodness of God. Listen, I am redirecting myself a lot lately. I understand how hard that can be, He does too that is why He tells us to pray without ceasing. If there are takeaways in what anyone says to you in the midst of the insults, thank God and then just remember this...

Keep your peace, He will fight for you.

The other stuff thrown at you...

Lord take it from her, please.

he was never like this until we had our first fight then since then i have tried to show him over and over just because he doesn’t know what love is it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist and now i need help he think its okay to keep putting me down

 

[Aerials1978]

Hello Darlene I saw that comment you mentioned about having the wrong partner... are you telling us your partner saw it also? And has drawn some wrong conclusion from it? A lot of conjecture and questions arise from that if it is the case. Could you please clarify?

Magenta! Glad to see you’re back.

 

[Aerials1978]

he was never like this until we had our first fight then since then i have tried to show him over and over just because he doesn’t know what love is it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist and now i need help he think its okay to keep putting me down

Sounds like you guys have a lot issues going on. Are you a praying women? How is your relationship with the Lord?

 

[Darlene___m]

Hello Darlene I saw that comment you mentioned about having the wrong partner... are you telling us your partner saw it also? And has drawn some wrong conclusion from it? A lot of conjecture and questions arise from that if it is the case. Could you please clarify?

yes he seen it and jumped to conclusions about it. i love him so much and whatever evil damage he has that is corrupting his thoughts i want out because we have had beautiful days together out and about but his children n family treat him like an atm. after years of handing out money and not getting it back because people say we are rich. we barely make it by every month. i know its stressful for him. i know he is a good man inside. but why does it seem like no matter how hard i try thats how he will always be?

i won’t give up praying because i have faith that we can get through this. he has to work again for the next week and im terrified of him bringing anything else in our home. i am scared that i am not parenting right specially after he yells the kids think its okay to not listen to me again. after how long it took to teach them simple rules of respecting others and thr joys of good honest work.

 

[kaylagrl]

yes he seen it and jumped to conclusions about it. i love him so much and whatever evil damage he has that is corrupting his thoughts i want out because we have had beautiful days together out and about but his children n family treat him like an atm. after years of handing out money and not getting it back because people say we are rich. we barely make it by every month. i know its stressful for him. i know he is a good man inside. but why does it seem like no matter how hard i try thats how he will always be?

i won’t give up praying because i have faith that we can get through this. he has to work again for the next week and im terrified of him bringing anything else in our home. i am scared that i am not parenting right specially after he yells the kids think its okay to not listen to me again. after how long it took to teach them simple rules of respecting others and thr joys of good honest work.

I see that you are not married. Are the children his and yours or someone else's? Have you considered some counseling? Do you have a church you attend? Is he a Christian? Sorry for the questions, but we need some background info here.

 

[Aerials1978]

yes he seen it and jumped to conclusions about it. i love him so much and whatever evil damage he has that is corrupting his thoughts i want out because we have had beautiful days together out and about but his children n family treat him like an atm. after years of handing out money and not getting it back because people say we are rich. we barely make it by every month. i know its stressful for him. i know he is a good man inside. but why does it seem like no matter how hard i try thats how he will always be?

i won’t give up praying because i have faith that we can get through this. he has to work again for the next week and im terrified of him bringing anything else in our home. i am scared that i am not parenting right specially after he yells the kids think its okay to not listen to me again. after how long it took to teach them simple rules of respecting others and thr joys of good honest work.

If you are not married, better to get out of that type of relationship. It’s not going to get any easier. Only God can change his heart and mind, not you nor anyone else. If you continue and the mental and verbal abuse persist, you will only have yourself to blame. Don’t let emotions steer you. God gives us a spirit of courage and mind to despise wisdom. Just some advise from someone who was like the man you’re describing.

 

[Darlene___m]

Sounds like you guys have a lot issues going on. Are you a praying women? How is your relationship with the Lord?

i have always prayed since i was a kid but as i got older i lost touch and for the past 4 years i have been talking to him more for help and healing with mental illness. i wish i never spent so much years drinking because afterwards recovery felt like i had to learn how to be human again. i hope that two damage people can make a difference to help break a cycle but if he doesn’t try it is hard to even think it’s possible.

i dont want to give up because we have come so far

 

[Aerials1978]

i have always prayed since i was a kid but as i got older i lost touch and for the past 4 years i have been talking to him more for help and healing with mental illness. i wish i never spent so much years drinking because afterwards recovery felt like i had to learn how to be human again. i hope that two damage people can make a difference to help break a cycle but if he doesn’t try it is hard to even think it’s possible.

i dont want to give up because we have come so far

Sometimes there is victory in defeat.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

i hope you are all safe and happy out there with the people you have.

i am having a hard time trying to feel like i am doing my best but its not good enough.

one man commented “maybe you have the wrong partner”

which is terrible for me because now he thinks i am on here talking to other men.

i wish a good hearted man or person would talk to him to tell him that what he has is good.

he yells at me all the time saying im ungrateful and will never amount to anything that’s why i had nowhere to go because nobody wanted you because you dont want to grow up.

i have been trying so hard to make good choices for myself why can’t he see that i am still here and it’s impossible to go home because of lockdowns and restrictions on travelling.

Here is a good link to understanding the dangers behind a verbal abusive partner.

https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/verbal-abuse/verbally-abusive-men-and-women-why-do-they-abuse

If you can locate the cause then you can better understand what is going on. The abuse is the symptom. The cause can be a mental illness, feeling inadequate, or even hereditary as in many cases the child can adopt certain traits from the father. But that is debatable in nature vs nurture. How much of it was hereditary vs taught. Often times the abused becomes the abuser.

 

[CharliRenee]

he was never like this until we had our first fight then since then i have tried to show him over and over just because he doesn’t know what love is it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist and now i need help he think its okay to keep putting me down

I do not agree with him and I am glad you do not as well. I truly am sad to read you are going through this.

Here is a cheerful song to hopefully bring a smile in the midst of the storm...

 

[Subhumanoidal]

i have always prayed since i was a kid but as i got older i lost touch and for the past 4 years i have been talking to him more for help and healing with mental illness. i wish i never spent so much years drinking because afterwards recovery felt like i had to learn how to be human again. i hope that two damage people can make a difference to help break a cycle but if he doesn’t try it is hard to even think it’s possible.

i dont want to give up because we have come so far

It's called verbal abuse. Abusers have a Very low rate of change. Regardless of how it was before he has entered a new phase that he's unlikely to come out of.

 

[chanchuinchoy]

yes he seen it and jumped to conclusions about it. i love him so much and whatever evil damage he has that is corrupting his thoughts i want out because we have had beautiful days together out and about but his children n family treat him like an atm. after years of handing out money and not getting it back because people say we are rich. we barely make it by every month. i know its stressful for him. i know he is a good man inside. but why does it seem like no matter how hard i try thats how he will always be?

i won’t give up praying because i have faith that we can get through this. he has to work again for the next week and im terrified of him bringing anything else in our home. i am scared that i am not parenting right specially after he yells the kids think its okay to not listen to me again. after how long it took to teach them simple rules of respecting others and thr joys of good honest work.

I think he has a problem and needs professional help.

 

[Darlene___m]

thats what inter-generational trauma looks like and almost every man and woman acts like that because nobody raised them with love.

when my mom n dad were 4 or 5 they were ripped out of their homes. the devastation to my grandparents was so hard they gave up and just drank because they made it so the tiny cheque’s they received from letting their children go they were only able to cash them at the nearest liquor store.

how is that helping people? steal their babies then keep them drunk??? this pain he has is not just him. our whole community has it deep inside them.

i love our first nations people because nobody else does. we get picked on and laughed at because we’re poor and sometimes the parents don’t parent because they think its more important to work and gain status that you are not poor.

i grew up poor my whole life and the love my father showed me and my mother when she was around was the memories i lived off to show my kids. not many parents take the time to build anything for or with kids. to me that’s important and the world to me.

ever since i met him he said i am not special, i left home because nobody cares about me. i failed by thinking the same way when i left 4 years ago. i tell him all the time you’re special and we have had great times out and about with our children.

we explored many things in edmonton on our bikes and had picnics with our children. people never seen people like us. native people who are actually sober, speaking our language and doing things with our children. he isn’t always like this but since we have been confined to our own homes he feels like he is going crazy.

i can understand why because the people where he works always give him a hard time about being native. specially when the blockades were happening right before coronavirus.

it doesn’t matter where you are it will always happen and it happens to him a lot. other men poke fun and make fun of us natives. saying horrible stuff like all we are is free loaders, drunks and addicts, abusers.

yes it has come to those things in many communities but how did that happen??!
the root is this the only thing i can find to sum up how and why our way of life was destroyed.

so yes my man is verbally abusive but he isn’t always like that. thank goodness he lets me reach out if i need to and tell him when he is being an asshole.
i love him and if nobody else cares to i do, i have been in a horrible relationship that was with a fasd abusive alcoholic for years.

i love the man i am with. he’s an educated native man with his red seal in welding and mechanics around the corner and speaks our language. nobody speaks our language and if you do then you’re lucky because nobody takes the time to teach because we all have this pain that spirit that was broken when our people suffered years in residential schools

 

[Roughsoul1991]

thats what inter-generational trauma looks like and almost every man and woman acts like that because nobody raised them with love.

when my mom n dad were 4 or 5 they were ripped out of their homes. the devastation to my grandparents was so hard they gave up and just drank because they made it so the tiny cheque’s they received from letting their children go they were only able to cash them at the nearest liquor store.

how is that helping people? steal their babies then keep them drunk??? this pain he has is not just him. our whole community has it deep inside them.

i love our first nations people because nobody else does. we get picked on and laughed at because we’re poor and sometimes the parents don’t parent because they think its more important to work and gain status that you are not poor.

i grew up poor my whole life and the love my father showed me and my mother when she was around was the memories i lived off to show my kids. not many parents take the time to build anything for or with kids. to me that’s important and the world to me.

ever since i met him he said i am not special, i left home because nobody cares about me. i failed by thinking the same way when i left 4 years ago. i tell him all the time you’re special and we have had great times out and about with our children.

we explored many things in edmonton on our bikes and had picnics with our children. people never seen people like us. native people who are actually sober, speaking our language and doing things with our children. he isn’t always like this but since we have been confined to our own homes he feels like he is going crazy.

i can understand why because the people where he works always give him a hard time about being native. specially when the blockades were happening right before coronavirus.

it doesn’t matter where you are it will always happen and it happens to him a lot. other men poke fun and make fun of us natives. saying horrible stuff like all we are is free loaders, drunks and addicts, abusers.

yes it has come to those things in many communities but how did that happen??!
the root is this the only thing i can find to sum up how and why our way of life was destroyed.

so yes my man is verbally abusive but he isn’t always like that. thank goodness he lets me reach out if i need to and tell him when he is being an asshole.
i love him and if nobody else cares to i do, i have been in a horrible relationship that was with a fasd abusive alcoholic for years.

i love the man i am with. he’s an educated native man with his red seal in welding and mechanics around the corner and speaks our language. nobody speaks our language and if you do then you’re lucky because nobody takes the time to teach because we all have this pain that spirit that was broken when our people suffered years in residential schools

Is your husband a Christian? Jesus is the type of chain breaker that frees us.

 

[Darlene___m]

Is your husband a Christian? Jesus is the type of chain breaker that frees us.

yes we both are but he has lost his way a bit and i am here to help him get back on it 💖 we have many traditional things we know but no real teachers to help us but with the wonderful world of technology we got our dene website to ask more questions about

thank you for understanding and not judging. i love him and my children so much and everyone else here on earth who care so much 🥰❤️

 

[Roughsoul1991]

yes we both are but he has lost his way a bit and i am here to help him get back on it 💖 we have many traditional things we know but no real teachers to help us but with the wonderful world of technology we got our dene website to ask more questions about

thank you for understanding and not judging. i love him and my children so much and everyone else here on earth who care so much 🥰❤️

The reason I was asking was because both in Biblical stories and history there are many accounts where people groups are treated poorly or unfairly. Many times the oppressed adopted a higher perspective or as in Biblical stories, a eternal and Godly perspective. This mindset would lead to prosperity. Read some of the accounts of Jewish people in the Nazi death camps.

Jesus gives us a different perspective. Even for the Pastor in a Chinese prison cell. Or the Apostle Paul facing execution by removing his head. Have a eternal perspective can break the chains of anger, resentment, or hatred. Not by our own willpower but by the clinging to the Holy Spirit that has the power to break those chains.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

i wish a good hearted man or person would talk to him to tell him that what he has is good.

Try a middle man, someone who knows you and him, to encourage faithfulness on his part and good intentions.