That feeling of a job never being quite right

[ArtsieSteph]

One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that whenever I get a job, it seems as if I manage to impress them for say maybe the first month or so. But over time it seems like I always manage to lack in some way shape or form, no matter what my job happens to be.

I’ve had jobs in sales, education, and now in the social work field. I know God put me in my current field and I wanna be there as long as He wills, I just don’t want my own ineptitude or lack of work ethic to make it so I don’t do what He wants in His time frame.

I won’t lie, I’ve always had issues of taking too many sick days. It’s something that’s happened since I was a child, though back then it was for stomach aches and lactose intolerance that I didn’t know I had. Sadly in this case I think my attitude is wrong. My parents both worked in a giant company and had loads of sick time that they’d been able to carry over for multiple years. In anything I’ve been able to work in, that hasn’t been the case. So I think I’ve been trying to take an attitude towards “sickness” that hasn’t been realistic to my own situation...

I guess the whole point of it is, am I feeling the same things that other adults do with working? Or is this an OCD specific thing? (I have OCD so that may well be a very large part of the feeling)

 

[Brandnewday]

I'll give it a shot. Have you ever sat down with yourself and searched inside you to see what you really want to do with your life?
Maybe you're doing this when you do get a job, and having so many in different settings could be something to look at too, seems to me like you're searching where you feel like you are part of something. Rather than being someone who has to just do their part. And maybe that is why you take sick days, if I understood that part of your post correctly, so as to get out of doing that. Because deep down you don't want to be there. Because your heart isn't in it.

 

[Nehemiah6]

I won’t lie, I’ve always had issues of taking too many sick days.

This is a symptom of something deeper. So what you should do is sit down by yourself and ask yourself a couple of tough questions: (1) what do I really want to do with my life which will count for something? and (2) does this fit in with what God wants for my life?

One of the primary causes of failure in life is not having a definite MAJOR PURPOSE in life. Which then translates into "a job is a job" rather than a calling. Study the life of Moses, who started out by lacking confidence in himself, and ended up by being the greatest leader in history.

Secondly, people can work for themselves and be far more motivated than working for others and reaping minimal rewards. But this means (1) commitment to a goal, (2) dedication to the work, and (3) making sure that every job gets done properly to the best of your ability.

I guess the whole point of it is, am I feeling the same things that other adults do with working?

Not all adults are lackadaisical. In any event stop comparing yourself to others.

Or is this an OCD specific thing?

No it is not. OCD means being obsessive about trivial things like washing your hands seven times instead of just once. And one can stop that by always having the big picture in view. And the big picture requires a proper plan to move forward step-by-step.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

I think you and @Brandnewday kinda hit it on the head there. I need to take account to what I'm doing and if I'm really into it or am just going along. Or even if God's plan is me to still be there, that I would still get my priorities set.

(1) what do I really want to do with my life which will count for something?

I seem to have a problem with that sometimes. I want what God wants for me, but I tend to be a person who doesn't always get...passionate about things really? I don't find myself "moved to compassion" often like Christ was. That could be a result of my OCD experiences, where I kinda had to make myself "not care" about things to kinda..you know..not panic.

(2) does this fit in with what God wants for my life?

In this case I know this is God's will. I asked Him if He wanted me to have this job that I would get it, and I did. Again for what reason I have no clue but...I know at least I'm trying to be obedient.

One of the primary causes of failure in life is not having a definite MAJOR PURPOSE in life. Which then translates into "a job is a job" rather than a calling.

I know for a fact that I'm not going for that. Part of it is that in the matter of staying for pay, health coverage, ect. But again I know that God wants me there for some reason or some lesson I need to learn.

Secondly, people can work for themselves and be far more motivated than working for others and reaping minimal rewards.

Sadly I know I can be lazy and don't have a good work ethic...I've tried to do better but often I just end up being super tired. Like I do the best I can but it seems like it's not...like enough. And part of me has kinda separated myself emotionally from my work because I worry if I attached myself to every family that comes through the walls (I work at a shelter) that I couldn't handle it...

Yeesh.

 

[Brandnewday]

Judging by your name and the profile picture I presume is your work, have you thought to see if there is an opening for a cartoonist at your local paper? If you love art, why not start looking there?

I have to say, after years of taking the kids to Pixar animation films, if you could get in there, or see if they have some kind of internship or something of that nature, you might be at home. Pixar has a careers link at their site.

 

[Silverwings]

Colossians 3:23 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the LORD, not for human masters,

 

[Roughsoul1991]

One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that whenever I get a job, it seems as if I manage to impress them for say maybe the first month or so. But over time it seems like I always manage to lack in some way shape or form, no matter what my job happens to be.

I’ve had jobs in sales, education, and now in the social work field. I know God put me in my current field and I wanna be there as long as He wills, I just don’t want my own ineptitude or lack of work ethic to make it so I don’t do what He wants in His time frame.

I won’t lie, I’ve always had issues of taking too many sick days. It’s something that’s happened since I was a child, though back then it was for stomach aches and lactose intolerance that I didn’t know I had. Sadly in this case I think my attitude is wrong. My parents both worked in a giant company and had loads of sick time that they’d been able to carry over for multiple years. In anything I’ve been able to work in, that hasn’t been the case. So I think I’ve been trying to take an attitude towards “sickness” that hasn’t been realistic to my own situation...

I guess the whole point of it is, am I feeling the same things that other adults do with working? Or is this an OCD specific thing? (I have OCD so that may well be a very large part of the feeling)

It is difficult as I can relate. My heart only gets fired up for ministry work. Everything else feels mediocre sometimes even though logically I understand God can work and move in the daily routines I find boring. My job as a military vehicle painter can get routine, boring and people are not hungry for the Word of God.

This hunger for in my mind more spiritual activities often lets reality put me in psychological lows. I take time off often to recharge and get spiritually energized to go back to work, fight the spiritual battles until mentally I have to get away like Jesus to wonder away in prayer.

Most jobs loves the overtime employee, the no sick day employee, the yes sir/mam employee no matter the request, no vacation employee, the brown noser employee.

Which is why my job doesn't promote me because I put my family first and not work a lot of overtime, I take off when sick, I stand up for right and wrong, I take vacation as much as I can as time is precious, and I work hard when I am suppose to be there so I dont care what they think of me because they have no ammunition against me.

But as you see this world doesn't often care about the individual or health of the family. We often can be easily replaced. So when we do care for ourselves and the family more than the job, there is a automatic problem in the worldly thinkers who are chasing power, money, toys, etc. They see us as the slackers. When in reality, they are chasing the wrong things that time, moth, rust or theft can easily destroy. While we are investing in eternal relationships and eternal understandings.