the art of wooing

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allforfun said:
No truer words have been spoken. I make my own money, but I can't write my own love notes to myself. Well, I could, but it might confuse the voices and I try at all costs to do that.
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I can't imagine how I would even begin a love letter to myself haha. Maybe something like this:

My beloved,

You have always been yourself around me and not pretended to be somebody else. I am comfortable just being myself around you. Although you continuously try to change me, it is always for the better. You have always been there for me through thick and thin, and I know you will always be by my side.

With Love,
Your inner dialogue
 
See_KING_Truth said:
I can't imagine how I would even begin a love letter to myself haha. Maybe something like this:

My beloved,

You have always been yourself around me and not pretended to be somebody else. I am comfortable just being myself around you. Although you continuously try to change me, it is always for the better. You have always been there for me through thick and thin, and I know you will always be by my side.

With Love,
Your inner dialogue
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Two things. 1) Your loyalty is commendable and 2) you will make a woman very lucky one day :)
 
thimsrebma said:
I don't really get what you mean by "step up to the plate and take steps that will get them to go for you" What do you suggest we should do to get their attention. We are not talking about guys whop are not interested, but guys who seem to be but just don't have enuf courage to say so.

And how would the guys "adjust accordingly"?
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I don't pretend to be an expert, so about all I can give you is some frustrations from the other side. Some really simple common ones I come across: 1. Sometimes when I'm talking to some girl she'll start making distance between us in some way. Maybe a little step, maybe looks at a cellphone, maybe wanders off... well if she isn't interested fine, but other times I get the impression some of this is nervous fidgety impulses. For me it derails things. Its just natural for me that if a girl takes a step away from me, rather than step towards her, or even hold my ground, I'll step back too. At some point in time I couldn't help but to joke at a girl who did this and she insisted she had stepped away because she thought it impolite to encroach my personal space. Well according to social psychology research, the closer proximatey to someone you feel attracted to, the better it is... so think about the implication... stand your ground or go closer!

2. Sometimes I strike up a conversation with a girl and she leaves me flapping in the wind... I'm left carrying the whole conversation while she stands there going "tee hee, tee hee". Not saying that isn't cute from a girl, at times, but just think what its like on the other end... I much prefer the ones that just start blabbing when I start the conversation. (so long as they are conversational) Less work for me. Hard to describe this one exactly but it happens a lot to me these days. Maybe I just got too funny for my own good lately. Don't have to be conversationally dominating, but don't leave me saying every thing or I start to wonder if I have a captive audience that doesn't know how to slip away.

I'll stop there for now, notice that I haven't really told you to do anything overly outgoing for yourself to do? Oh, wait I'll add this in... if you're talking to a guy, and there are other people there, its natural for people to turn and talk and join and leave other conversations... if you have someone interupt your conversation, don't leave the guy standing there for a long period of time while you hear the gossip about so and so... we're guys used to women playing third party interference to get rid of us.... so while you might THINK you are just hearing another conversation in your busy social life, you're actually rejecting us.
 
I used to be fairly forward about asking women out. But where I'm from it seems that noone has ANY tact whatsoever. I've asked very politely, if the girl would like to "go out to dinner? My treat." and have received the response, "You've got to be joking" and with a huff they storm off as if I've said something rude. OR I apparently have the luck of asking out girls who JUST got dumped an hour or so ago and getting the privilege of listening to the "all guys are the same: *********s" speech. And I have HONESTLY started to wonder if God and Satan have a "wager" on reaction like with Job. I no longer bother to ask girls out. I got plenty tired of rejection. And RUDE rejection at that. I take solace in the fact that I KNOW they're missing out on me.
 
Oh, I almost forgot: I also love it when as a rejection line I get "let's just be friends". After that they do one of two things over time. They either stop talking to me altogether (frequent and usually only takes a week or two) or they take some sick and twisted pleasure in telling me how many good qualities I have and how some girl is going to be lucky to which I desperately want to respond, "Well apparently I've got some undesirable quality that dwarfs all those good qualities cuz neither your nor any other girl ever seems to be interested at all!" But I don't. I just politely thank them for the compliments, inwardly execrating myself for whatever flaw I apparently bare that makes me so repugnant.
 
Not sure why the subject of "wooing" always revolves around men wooing ladies... I personally enjoy wooing men! And I even enjoy treating men to dinner.. not always having to be on the receiving end of generosity! I think everyone has a different idea of how they wish to be wooed though, so this might be why the flirtations go seemingly unnoticed.. Just a thought
 
I think the man who can woo a woman perfectly only exists in their brains or their dreams!

Women are overrated..lol

And they expect a lot, no matter what you do to woo them, it's not enough..

The thing is, they want MR PERFECT!
 
I'm sure your post stems from bad experiences, Tobby, but I can assure you that we don't expect MR PERFECT. :) Some of us can even find a man's oddities and flaws attractive, as strange as that may sound. They can set him apart from the pack and make him seem more real than the others.

But what do I know. I'm one of those overrated females. ;)
 
The_boy said:
I used to be fairly forward about asking women out. But where I'm from it seems that noone has ANY tact whatsoever. I've asked very politely, if the girl would like to "go out to dinner? My treat." and have received the response, "You've got to be joking" and with a huff they storm off as if I've said something rude. OR I apparently have the luck of asking out girls who JUST got dumped an hour or so ago and getting the privilege of listening to the "all guys are the same: *********s" speech. And I have HONESTLY started to wonder if God and Satan have a "wager" on reaction like with Job. I no longer bother to ask girls out. I got plenty tired of rejection. And RUDE rejection at that. I take solace in the fact that I KNOW they're missing out on me.
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I agree with you about this. I see women who go to dance clubs all dressed up as skanky as possible and they spend the night screaming at guys about how they just want a "girl's night out" and want to be left alone.Doesn't explain why they are showing as much skin as possible or why they needed to go to a pick up place rather than a quiet neighbourhood pub in the first place. But, yeah, I think there is something bogus about women telling everyone how "straight up" they want everything because I can guarantee this "real man" boldness they say they want would bother MOST women. Just think of all of the things we COULD and just might try if society hadn't stomped us into NOT doing it. There are reasons other than us all being a bunch of losers, shy, and she-males that we don't just start talking up and asking out pretty girls whenever and where ever they may be. Seems to me what women really want are mindreaders that will act accordingly for their wishes without them having to give any indication themselves.
 
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
There is a lot of pressure on men to perform a certain way. Every woman is different and expects different things, how are they supposed to know which woman wants which thing.

For myself, i wouldn't ever want to be asked out for coffee. I like coffee, but to me that would feel awkward.
I hate flowers, i dont like cards and for the love of everything NOOOO candy. Im very particular about what kind of candy i like and if he were to buy me the wrong kind, i cant pretend i like something. You can clearly see it on my face when theres something im not happy with.

NOW if he were to say, you wanna come over and watch the history channel with me. Ooooor do you want to go to a museum with me or something like that... oh my gosh that would be like AWESOME!

So i dont think men have lost any art of anything, i just think women are to picky and expect to much sometimes.
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See above example for pickiness.
 
I honestly have no idea what any of you are talking about. Most women are crazy but, I don't know that they have unrealistic standards. Do not listen to what they want, just watch and see who they wind up dating and/or eventually marrying. Its never the same.

She might like me because I surf or ski or whatever but, at the end of the day, she is going to marry the boring insurance adjuster with the boring train collection in the basement. He has stability like dried glue and a job that he's stuck with for the rest of his life, her nesting instincts will take over and guys like me never really had a chance.

So the reality is that if you want to woo a woman, show her that your SUV seats 11, show her that you are OCD about your taxes, and that you are really just looking for a stay at home mom to run the DVR. Wear lots of Pastels too, blue, lavender, lime green etc. It says, "I can be your throw-rug."
 
All people should be made to wear sandwhich boards with everything you immediately need to know about them written on it.
 
Liamson said:
I honestly have no idea what any of you are talking about. Most women are crazy but, I don't know that they have unrealistic standards. Do not listen to what they want, just watch and see who they wind up dating and/or eventually marrying. Its never the same.

She might like me because I surf or ski or whatever but, at the end of the day, she is going to marry the boring insurance adjuster with the boring train collection in the basement. He has stability like dried glue and a job that he's stuck with for the rest of his life, her nesting instincts will take over and guys like me never really had a chance.

So the reality is that if you want to woo a woman, show her that your SUV seats 11, show her that you are OCD about your taxes, and that you are really just looking for a stay at home mom to run the DVR. Wear lots of Pastels too, blue, lavender, lime green etc. It says, "I can be your throw-rug."
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Limason im honestly sorry youve had that experience for me im not bothered whether he dont have a job, whether he surfs or skis , or works in insurance, or any of that stuff, i marry someone because i love them, not their suv or job or the fact they pay their taxes or stability, as long as theirs love and trust there and honesty thats all i need .. But thats me , not all women are the same , lets not make this a mud throwing at us as a whole
 
Liamson said:
I honestly have no idea what any of you are talking about. Most women are crazy but, I don't know that they have unrealistic standards. Do not listen to what they want, just watch and see who they wind up dating and/or eventually marrying. Its never the same.

She might like me because I surf or ski or whatever but, at the end of the day, she is going to marry the boring insurance adjuster with the boring train collection in the basement. He has stability like dried glue and a job that he's stuck with for the rest of his life, her nesting instincts will take over and guys like me never really had a chance.

So the reality is that if you want to woo a woman, show her that your SUV seats 11, show her that you are OCD about your taxes, and that you are really just looking for a stay at home mom to run the DVR. Wear lots of Pastels too, blue, lavender, lime green etc. It says, "I can be your throw-rug."
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We don't want throw rugs, despite what you think. We want men who are confident about themselves. Which is one of the reasons many girls go for bad guys, because they appear to have this confidence, but in reality, these bad boys are more than likely to conceited. And once we grow out of the bad boy stage, we then look for real men.
 
Girlnext , so was it a comment or an invitation.

Whoever I say that too-- and, I've said something to that effect a time or two, literally speaking--that is DEFINITELY an invitation. It is up to the girl next to respond....

---
Guy: Be careful, I might have to invite you for coffee.

Girl need to say something at that point cuz THAT is pure unadulterated INVITATION. Even IF all she says is 'ok,' because IF you are interested you have GOT to say something, not much, but somerhing, or, at least make eye contact and SMILE.
)---

HMMm, I should do a poll to prove my point.

Well, I just talked myself into it, I will. See , ladies, be careful or I wil put you all into a voting war. :D
 
Liamson said:
She might like me because I surf or ski or whatever but, at the end of the day, she is going to marry the boring insurance adjuster with the boring train collection in the basement. He has stability like dried glue and a job that he's stuck with for the rest of his life, her nesting instincts will take over and guys like me never really had a chance.
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That sounds so fantastically boring that I nodded off three times before I could finish it.

The day I want a man to be a throw rug is the day I start being a house pet for him.
 
allforfun said:
That sounds so fantastically boring that I nodded off three times before I could finish it.

The day I want a man to be a throw rug is the day I start being a house pet for him.
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Yes I agree, exceptionally dreadful.


I don't think men should be conceited but, (in my younger days I had a thing for conceited women) there is a line between being self aware and being prideful.

Everyone has a history that shapes their expectations too, so for some having a "nice guy" is a pleasant alternative to "Smokes a pack a day, and addresses his woman as 'Trix' regardless of her name"
 
Sometimes I read these threads and feel as though I belong on another planet.... or maybe I've just been living on one
 
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