H
Hellooo
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You know, when you fall in love, a lot of these trivial shopping list items go right out the window, and the person you're with somehow becomes your standard.
The Taller Woman /Shorter Guy and other Shallow Filters
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Times have shown (others) the list of undesired "items" piled up on a corner to leave the relationship. People like to be pleased, the most. So, those lists of items/standards are written elsewhere too.
I would imagine that most guys have heard this from more aggressive females, or on dating sites. I've got a book that deals with dating, and this point is brought up very strongly and mocked by the writer, as an unfortunate sign of the times. The ad they were laughing at went into full detail about who she would consider, point is she was very very picky and the writer said "good luck with that"
I just trust in the Lord that he can deal with this better than myself, as I've tried for 49 and 11/12 years, and it's another on the long list of things we should just hand over to him. I have some funny and not-so-funny personal dealings with this subject, which tells me "why worry about it anymore, its something out of my control".
As sad (or good) as it could be... Do you remember these?
Every person is writing his /her own book of life. Each book can tell you well what was his / her end result...
As I have learned, many ladies liked taller men (and it´s okey) but I liked petit.
Oh! that´s honesty!
If we are honest enough, the punching list could be (and is) larger... Each person has it defined, just in secret. Otherwise, no one would be left to feel it as despised.
Honesty and simple decisions are being made, same way Zacchaeus did:
Luk 19:3 He was trying to see who Jesus was, but he was a little man and could not see Jesus because of the crowd.
Luk 19:4 So he ran ahead of the crowd and climbed a sycamore tree to see Jesus, who was going to pass that way.
Taller or short ones, some of us could not see Him, the ONE we saw.
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I think you are correct in saying that there is a tie between height and how people perceive the masculinity of a man, at least in terms of comparing the man with his significant other, even though it is such a faulty frame of reference.
But I think it is only fair to the individuals you quoted to point out that only one of them said that they absolutely could not date or marry a guy shorter than herself. The other two said it was a mere preference and would not in any way be a dealbreaker. (So nothing even close to "Yeah, I totally couldn't date a guy shorter than myself.") So if I were going to put words in their mouths (at least of the first two ladies and others who have said similar things), what that says to me is that those who don't see that as a dealbreaker believe in their heart that there is a lot more to what makes a man than his height, and I think that's pretty cool if you ask me
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lav
Guest
I think you are correct in saying that there is a tie between height and how people perceive the masculinity of a man, at least in terms of comparing the man with his significant other, even though it is such a faulty frame of reference.
But I think it is only fair to the individuals you quoted to point out that only one of them said that they absolutely could not date or marry a guy shorter than herself. The other two said it was a mere preference and would not in any way be a dealbreaker. (So nothing even close to "Yeah, I totally couldn't date a guy shorter than myself.") So if I were going to put words in their mouths (at least of the first two ladies and others who have said similar things), what that says to me is that those who don't see that as a dealbreaker believe in their heart that there is a lot more to what makes a man than his height, and I think that's pretty cool if you ask me
for me it doesn't really have to do with thinking a guy is less masculine because he is shorter than i am, it's my insecurity of feeling less feminine. i don't want to be the bigger person!
lav, your point it basically the crux of my own observations about why a lot of women want a taller guy, or even a guy with a bigger/heavier build.
being a taller girl, when i was younger i wouldn't have ever dated someone even close to my height, because i didn't want to feel like the "lanky, ungainly girl". i think it is VERY COMMON that a lot of women seek men taller or bigger than them. largely as reactionary manifestation of their own insecurities.
speaking for myself: when i dealt with my own insecurities and "grew into" and even came to love and appreciate the way God made me, those goofy insecurities went away.
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lav
Guest
Same concept, just the other side of the coin.
yeah, but it's really not about me thinking they aren't masculine enough because they happen to be shorter... it's my insecurity. not their problem or deficiency, it's mine.
on that note, i think i could be okay with someone the same height. i may have even done this before. i don't remember because it was probably in high school. we were together for 9 months and he was my first love. i'm pretty sure we were the exact same height.
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Donkeyfish07
Guest
I think I understand what you mean 100%, it's a really common perspective too. I don't consider it an insecurity though (I don't claim to know everything, could you tell me why you feel like it's an insecurity?). Relationships are all about feelings. If a woman doesn't feel like a woman with any particular guy (Regardless of the reason), why would she want to get into a romantic relationship with him? That's just natural IMO and it's not a deficiency or anything wrong with the woman.
My opinion is (Just an opinion).....is that a strong masculine personality automatically makes most ladies feel feminine in it's own right, it's just the nature of the man/woman dynamic. Actually, to go even beyond the height issue......Masculinity itself is pretty rare these days. That's why I think you get all these "Where are all the real men?" questions. I came to that conclusion years ago because there was this true blue ladies man I met through some mutual friends, he was even shorter than me and weighed like 200 lbs, lived with his mom.....didn't have a car, didn't have a job and didn't want a job. lol, he had ALL the pretty girls after him. He was just a real man, great personality, born leader. Didn't matter if you were a woman and didn't like short guys or not....if you knew him personally you would be like "Well that's just James, he doesn't count!". lol
Donkey could be right! Someone could feel insecure, not only for her height / size, but I had a friend who married a taller woman and, additional to that, he liked to cheat on, by using shorters and, to my own surprised, certain day we had to cross one of those bridges over a highway, where pedestrians have to walk alone, and he prefered to endanger his life by crossing it as an an outlaw...
When I reached his house, his taller woman told me he was afraid of altitudes. Then I confirmed by asking him (he have it hidden).
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