The vengance belongs to the Lord  

  • Thread starter Thread starter toinena
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toinena

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Yesterday I got the news. I wasn't getting the teacher's post I was sure to get. When I was called to the interview I was thinking: finally. My years as a temp is over. Full time work, financial security, accessible building, great co workers, close to home. I could feel the relief. I could taste it. I made plans. I am thought I knew where I was going to be and what I am going to work with until retirement.

I was crushed. I went to my co workers office and wept my heart out. I wanted to cuss. Throw things. The teacher union's representative said they had treated my unfair. They had tried to defend my case. Was it because of my disability, my age or the fact I have only teached minority speakers the last years? I guess it was a combination.

I came home. Emotionally and psychologically worn out after 10 hours at work. I prayed. And I knew. God is in control. I am not to be bitter. I am not to worry (easier said than done, when I am not sure how to get ends meet next winter), I should bless the school administration and the people interviewing me, and know vengance belongs to the Lord. I felt rest. Peace.

I am not sure if I should apply other jobs. A job so close to home is hard to beat. But I do know I will be alright. I have my studies. And I have a part time job, online teaching and Airbnb. I can get a study loan and I do have some money saved. I am blessed beyond measures. And I don't regret. I don't regret studying or even quitting the job I did this spring. I know it will be fine. I know there is a bigger picture I don't see. And I know God knows what is best for me.
 
Life does seem to have it's heartbreaking moments doesn't it. It's been said that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger but there have been times in my life where I was growing weary of getting stronger and preferred to die rather than face another hard dreary day. God does know what is best for us but it would be nice once in awhile to know what this 'best' is and when it will happen. There is light at the end of the tunnel but there are times that the light seems so far away and distant.
 
Toinena, it sounds as ifyou have a right attitude towards God, and are learning to Trust Him.
 
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