There are many different flavors of legalism. But they all have obedience to the law (in some form) as the cornerstone and foundation of salvation. What they all lack is the concept that the new man (which is a creation of God by Spiritual birth) is "truly righteous and holy" (Eph 4:24). In the inward man, we are joined to the Lord and are one spirit with Him (1 Cor 6:17). This is not something we struggle to get, struggle to keep, or struggle to live up to. It is ours by birth.I understand your point that salvation is a gift from God, given through His mercy and the work of Jesus. That is indeed beautiful and true—no one can earn salvation by their own effort. But Jesus Himself taught that following Him involves more than just faith in words; it also includes living in a way that reflects His love and obedience to God’s commands.
In the Gospels, Jesus says, “If you love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15). He never separated faith in Him from obedience—He invited people to trust Him and follow Him, not as a way to earn salvation, but as the natural fruit of being His disciple. The disciples also encouraged believers to live in a way that is pleasing to God, showing love, kindness, and purity of heart.
Faith is the starting point, and grace brings us into God’s family, but our actions—our obedience—are the visible proof that our hearts have been changed. Titus 3:8 supports this, reminding us to “be careful to maintain good works” because they are beneficial. It doesn’t contradict salvation by grace; it flows naturally from it. Obedience is not about earning salvation, but about living as God’s children under the guidance of the Spirit.
Following Jesus is a journey of both trusting Him fully and letting His Spirit shape our hearts so that love and obedience naturally follow. It’s a path of joy, not burden, because it shows that His work in us is real.
Another thing they all lack is the concept that the flesh still exists after salvation and has evil desires (Rom 7). They don't understand that permanent dissolution of the flesh occurs at physical death (Ro 8). They don't understand that we are in Christ and not in the flesh (Ro 8), that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Ro 8), or that walking in the Spirit does not stop the flesh from having evil desires (Ga 5).
So, your demands for holiness and righteousnes seem to me to be just one of many forms of legalism since they include no reference to the righteousness and holiness of the new man, no understanding of the flesh, and no understanding of our lack of condemnation in Christ.