things every woman wants to hear

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Blain said:
Okay so I don't get this. when a women asks her hubby or boyfriend does this make me look fat you say no and you are being honest. why do they never believe you?
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Because she doesn't really want to know about if she looks fat, she wants to know if you find her worthy and attractive and wonderful and all that stuff. Don't just say no, tell her she looks absolutely gorgeous (if you think she does) or tell her you think she'd look even better in a (specific) different outfit if it should be changed. Whatever you say, the goal is to say something both so sincere and so over the top that it completely dismisses the idea of her being fat and ugly (in a woman's brain those are pretty synonymous). A simple no just isn't intense enough.

Yes this is probably an impossible standard, but no one ever said we women had to restrict ourselves to wanting only what was possible.

cmarieh said:
I suppose it would be helpful every now and then, but I like the thought of working together to get dinner on the table and cleaning up afterwards so that there is more time to spend with each other.
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Note to future SO of cmarieh: This woman clearly has quality time as her primary love language.
 
Blain said:
Okay so I don't get this. when a women asks her hubby or boyfriend does this make me look fat you say no and you are being honest. why do they never believe you?
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Because women want say one thing and mean another. It's the most annoying thing women do, and I absolutely refuse to act this way.

Women, in general, when asking whether or not they "look fat" in this are really asking an ulterior question in an effort to get you to look up at them, pay attention to them, and pay them a compliment. In their mind, they imagine the conversation something like this:

Woman:"Sweety, do I look fat in this?"
Man: *looks up...does double take* "Why darling, you look downright <insert appropriate compliment here>!"

I, as one woman, find it to be sneaky and underhanded behavior. It is a betrayal of trust for the man, because he cannot count on his wife to say what she means. It was a conversation my late-husband and I had early on. I told him if I asked him if I looked fat, and he said no, I don't want my friend to be like, "Girl, that outfit makes you look pregnant!" That happens, I'm coming home mad. If I wanted a compliment, I would simply tell him.

The conversation went like this.

Me: "I'm feeling pretty. Kiss me and tell me I'm pretty?" (smiling)
Storm: "You are lovely, my Rose. I love you."

Me: "Hello, love! Isn't this a lovely dress (hairdo, pair of shoes, etc.)? I really like it!"
Husband: "Yes, my rose. It is lovely and so are you. :)"

Or, sometimes, the answer would be, "Meh, I don't like it. It makes you look...." Either way, I asked a question, so I should expect an answer to be an honest one, and not use the question as a wheedling, childish way to force your man to give you a compliment, OR ELSE!

Anyway, I'll just add it to my growing list of pet peeves. Sigh.
 
cinder said:
Because she doesn't really want to know about if she looks fat, she wants to know if you find her worthy and attractive and wonderful and all that stuff. Don't just say no, tell her she looks absolutely gorgeous (if you think she does) or tell her you think she'd look even better in a (specific) different outfit if it should be changed. Whatever you say, the goal is to say something both so sincere and so over the top that it completely dismisses the idea of her being fat and ugly (in a woman's brain those are pretty synonymous). A simple no just isn't intense enough.

Yes this is probably an impossible standard, but no one ever said we women had to restrict ourselves to wanting only what was possible.
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Okay I'm really glad you threw in that last sentence. I was getting the impression I should stay single forever. I'd never be able to keep up that level of overexpression.
 
Lynx said:
Okay I'm really glad you threw in that last sentence. I was getting the impression I should stay single forever. I'd never be able to keep up that level of overexpression.
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Once you've been properly trained such methods of expression should become second nature :P . And you could always quote song lyrics to her, that will probably make you sound poetic and sweet and romantic and all that stuff.
 
Every woman... every man too, everyone I know gets tired of hearing song lyrics loooooooooooong before I get tired of quoting them. :cool: I can't help it! Everything reminds me of a song.
 
I think you're even prettier now than the first day I clubbed you and dragged you into my cave.
 
Here's another tricky question that women ask us. If we tell you that we had met one of our female friends/colleagues over lunch/coffee, your next question would be "Is she pretty?"

How do we answer that? If we say she is, then all hell will break loose. If we say she is not, then you say that we are lying. :confused:
 
Roh_Chris said:
Here's another tricky question that women ask us. If we tell you that we had met one of our female friends/colleagues over lunch/coffee, your next question would be "Is she pretty?"

How do we answer that? If we say she is, then all hell will break loose. If we say she is not, then you say that we are lying. :confused:
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1. A beautiful woman who believes her worth is in her physical attractiveness might ask that question because she has to compete with other good looking ladies.

2. A woman who is in a relationship with a man who has a habit of flirting or has a "roving eye" (there's a big difference between looking and ogling, you know that! :rolleyes: ) might ask that question because the guy is giving her reason to suspect he is untrustworthy.

3. A woman who feels she is not very attractive might ask that question because she is insecure and has a need to be validated.

4. A woman who hears you say that you had lunch with a female colleague might ask that question because she wonders if you deliberately emphasized that it was a "female colleague" (as opposed to just a colleague) because she suspects your insecurity compels you to try to make her jealous.

There are plenty of reasons a gal might ask that question because a lot of guys and girls play silly head games with each other all the time.

"Out of the heart, the mouth speaks." Our candid conversation reveals a lot about who we are and people can read between the lines of our many, many careless words. Listening to the Holy Spirit and resting in the faith of Jesus Christ, rather than being overly self-conscious and defensive, will help us communicate effectively and keep the peace in our relationships.

My advice to you, my dearest young brother Chris is to continue to grow in the grace of Jesus as you are doing and remain confident in Him, treating a young lady just the way you want to be treated. It's also a big plus if you find a young lady who's confidence is in the Lord as well. Grace to you in Jesus! :)
 
Agricola said:
Darling, I just purchased the latest vacuum cleaner for you.
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Oh, boy! My grandpa did that for my grandma over fifteen years ago and he bought the top of the line vacuum and he spent $1500 on it. When it was delivered and he gave it to her, I have never seen a bigger argument in my life and off the new vacuum went to the garage and there it stayed.

I understand where you are coming from though and it is a nice gesture.
 
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