Hello Michael,
I am so very glad that you told your parents about what is going on in your life, and even though I am sure that they were unprepared for this, It is my hope that they will know how to respond. it is not normal to feel this way, and you desperately need some support and help. I hope that your parents find a good counselor for you, as it is needed at this rough time in your life. You are precious and valuable, even if your mind is disagreeing with this, it is truth.
I am suprised that you have not already gotten some response, but I am sure it will come later. It is good that you came, and I hope you can get some really good advice.
Do you go to church? Do you feel comfortable talking to your pastor or your youth pastor? Are your parents Christian?
All of these things are important to your well being and need to be addressed.
Christians are in a warfare, and the newer you are to the faith, and the younger , it seems that the enemy fights you harder. The more you get rooted and grounded in the faith the more protection you have.
I urge you to seek out all the help you can find, and if anyone gives you advice that does not seem to set well with you, then maybe hold off from receiving from them for a time. You definatley need as many people praying for you as you can find. This is a very good start, and if you have not listed your prayer request in the prayer forum i urge you to do so. and also you can send a prayer request to
[email protected], that is a Christian radio station that is in my area, that has a prayer ministry, you will not hear back from them but i assure you that they will pray. And CBN also has a prayer ministry you can access online, as also Facebook has several, just sign up to it, and then type in prayer in the search box it will bring up several for you.
As the prayers start coming in you should begin to feel better, but do not let up, you still need counseling, and prayer on your own, as well as from your parents, and your pastor and youth pastor.
I would suggest that you begin to rebuke those negative thoughts as soon as they come into your mind, just say I rebuke that thought, in Jesus name, and it will flee from you, but in the begining it is like a spoiled child, it (the bad spirit) will come back time and time again, do not get weary, stand your ground, and the more prayers are going up for you the stronger you will be. We do not war against flesh and blood, but principalities and powers of the air, wickedness in high places. In other words we war against evil spirits, that come to torment our minds, but our weapons are mighty to the pulling down of stronholds.
You need to also pray for forgiveness for every sin that you can possibly think of that you or your ancestors may have committed, because what has gone on before does affect us negatively or positively , and in your case it is negatively, so it could be that there are ancestral curses that need to be broken, and you can do it by asking for forgiveness whether it was you that committed them or a close or distant relative, it take one who is willing to pay the price to serve the Lord to break these things from our lives. it would also help to get some books on warfare, and curses, and suicide all from a Christian perspective. There is a christian ministry in Hot Springs Ark , that carries these books that can be very helpful to you. 501-525-8204 Lake Hamilton Bible Camp, and they can pray with you also for freedom. Just tell them what you are going thru.
I hope to be able to hear some good news from you!! God bless and keep you, amen.
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