Things you'll probably never hear people say.. (just for fun) :P

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Teenager: "Mom, thank you for setting me straight. Your words are dripping with wisdom."
 
More self deprecating from me:

"Jon, your dissertation is perfect and needs absolutely NO corrections or revisions"

"You're moody, socially awkward, stand-offish, reserved, insubordinate, and have delusions of adequacy - you're exactly what our company is looking for and we'd like to extend you a job offer."

"Jon I am so glad you analyze situations as thoroughly as you do and ask such pointed questions in the aggressive way you do."

"I think it's really cute how out of touch you are with popular culture, tee hee."
 
kodiak said:
Now we just need one of your kids to make an account and get on here and say that under this comment. :p
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hush, Kody! ;)

those horrible children of mine probably would. :rolleyes:


in case anyone is wondering, my kids are not horrible.
 
Something you will never hear me saying:

"Hey let's try installing FreeBSD. Come on, it'll be fun!"
 
"I want to clean up after the dog."

Said by a doctor --
"I have no idea how to treat that."
"It's not the smoking, drinking, or overeating that will kill you. It's green leafy vegetables."
"I couldn't help you, so here's your money back."

Said by lawyers --
"That's a stupid reason to sue."
"50% of all cases are lost."
"No need to have me read that contract for you."

Said by politicians --
"I really don't do anything important, so close out my job."
"Don't take my word on this. I'm just trying to get reelected."
"We can't keep within our own budget, so we'll tax you on your soda, and call it 'for pre-school education.' Alright with you?"

Said by a tax collector --
"Of course, I don't understand the tax code. No one does."

Said by on-air meteorologists --
"It will be an average day for the next ten days."

Said by MSM --
"Here's the real story behind my opinion."
"Although the politician is in my political party and believes what I believe, don't trust either one of us."
"Nothing interesting happened today."
"Of course, hearing what 'the common people' think about this story isn't the news, but don't you want to be on TV anyway?"
 
Depleted said:
"I want to clean up after the dog."

Said by a doctor --
"I have no idea how to treat that."
"It's not the smoking, drinking, or overeating that will kill you. It's green leafy vegetables."
"I couldn't help you, so here's your money back."

Said by lawyers --
"That's a stupid reason to sue."
"50% of all cases are lost."
"No need to have me read that contract for you."

Said by politicians --
"I really don't do anything important, so close out my job."
"Don't take my word on this. I'm just trying to get reelected."
"We can't keep within our own budget, so we'll tax you on your soda, and call it 'for pre-school education.' Alright with you?"

Said by a tax collector --
"Of course, I don't understand the tax code. No one does."

Said by on-air meteorologists --
"It will be an average day for the next ten days."

Said by MSM --
"Here's the real story behind my opinion."
"Although the politician is in my political party and believes what I believe, don't trust either one of us."
"Nothing interesting happened today."
"Of course, hearing what 'the common people' think about this story isn't the news, but don't you want to be on TV anyway?"
Click to expand...

serveimage


too much reality in one place!
 
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