"This Little Piggy Has an Inbox Full of Suitors... This Little Piggy Has None."

[Lanolin]

Yello. I thought this was going to turn out to be another bacon thread, but no.

If you cook bacon, they will come. I totally forgot, because I was focussing on cheese.

Why isn't there any bacon perfume, or any that smell like food. As for kidults, there are certainly a lot of those. Nothing to worry about. Marriage is for old folks, we young'uns just wanna have fun.

With bacon.

 

[Lanolin]

My inbox never overflowed with suitors. I don't count spam, it goes directly to junk and then binned.
The only things I get in my inbox at CC is the admin asking for a donation. I have 81 notifications/DMs about this.
Should I give $81 to CC?

 

[Lanolin]

Since nobody directly answered your questions Seoul, I am going to attempt to. Not that I really know anything...and my Christian circles will be different from yours, but I think that's to be expected...

* Is it fair that Christian culture seems to set up the very situation in which women might have several pursuers, while men have to endure waiting in line?

No it is not fair. However, this seems to be a modern thing and I think it maybe due to ratios of men to women in your church-going population.

* Should this somehow be changed -- and if so, what changes should be made?

I don't know. From my limited experience I think churches should hold more dances. If everyone learns how to dance properly then maybe it would be better in terms of mating. Not this silly moshing/head banging poor excuse for dancing, or Britney Spears military style Janet Jackson Rhythm nation. Too many risky wardrobe malfunctions there.

* Should women pursue men more often to "even things up"? Or should men continue to be the ones to "risk it all"?

I have no idea on what women and men *should* do . According to the Genesis story, Adam was born first, and Eve wast born after but we can't take that for an example as they were the only two humans alive on earth in the Beginning.
They didn't need to pursue each other. They were just there.

Cain somehow found himself a wife in the land of Nod. Abel didn't survive, and we don't know much about Seth's wife. It seems to me that the immorality began from Genesis chapter 6. The daughters of men didn't have much choice, while the sons of God could choose whatever wife they wanted.


* How can we uplift men who feel like they're just waiting in line, hoping that some woman will choose them?

I am not doing any heavy lifting, I have enough of my own burdens to carry, so a man that isn't strong (physically/mentally/spiritually) enough to carry the load probably wouldn't be chosen by a woman.
If they're waiting in line doing nothing they are a mug. Sorry. Men ought to be out doing stuff, not waiting in line. Waiting in line is tedious. I know, I've done it, I don't push ahead, I'm respectful, but just seems like a silly way to mate.

Here is what I think should be done, because teachers that do this to children to pick their own sports team are being stupidly unfair esp for the poor child who is picked last. (often the youngest, and smallest through no fault of their own) To counteract this, everyone should just go get in a circle , and I (the teacher) will assign you to a team, by going numbering children around the circle. All evens in one team, all odds in another.
If you want to do it by gender, you can do it that way too. Once everyone has found their buddy/match it us up to them to work out if they want to stay together or not. I mean this is to start with, I don't know how it will play out further on in time.

 

[Lanolin]

If I were to pick a sport that both men and women can play, I'd pick table tennis.

 

[SomeDisciple]

I mention feminism because many of the Christian circles I've been around seem to believe that only men are to pursue, never women (Ruth was seen as a Biblical exception, but an anomaly,) so I'm guessing that this "new", "modern" belief that women should pursue men is also rooted in feminist beliefs? If not, where did it come from?

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

So, Ruth was not just some skank throwing herself at Boaz because she was "empowered" by feminism to prey on men; As a widow, she had actual rights to approach Boaz, based on the prescription of God's law. She's not an "exception to the rule"; rather, she was acting in accordance with the rules.

* Is it fair that Christian culture seems to set up the very situation in which women might have several pursuers, while men have to endure waiting in line?

Men who endure waiting in line do so by choice. Sadly.

* How can we uplift men who feel like they're just waiting in line, hoping that some woman will choose them?

Tell them to stop being such a wuss. If she's not worth the wait... then don't. If she is worth the wait, then, shut up!!!

 

[seoulsearch]

So, Ruth was not just some skank throwing herself at Boaz because she was "empowered" by feminism to prey on men; As a widow, she had actual rights to approach Boaz, based on the prescription of God's law. She's not an "exception to the rule"; rather, she was acting in accordance with the rules.
Men who endure waiting in line do so by choice. Sadly.
Tell them to stop being such a wuss. If she's not worth the wait... then don't. If she is worth the wait, then, shut up!!!

I certainly wasn't implying anything bad about Ruth.

I was thinking of all the "women should NEVER chase men, under any circumstance" modern advice I've heard in the Christian circles I've been in.

I've heard a lot of thoughts in Christian communities that a woman going after a man is immodest at best, and down right whore-ish at worst.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

 

[SomeDisciple]

I certainly wasn't implying anything bad about Ruth.

I know. I just wanted to lay down the scriptural facts of the matter for anyone not familiar.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Not exactly an "uplifting" in a light-hearted way, I know.

 

[seoulsearch]

I know. I just wanted to lay down the scriptural facts of the matter for anyone not familiar.

Not exactly an "uplifting" in a light-hearted way, I know.

I understand your point of view.

Hard truths help keep us firmly rooted in reality -- and can help prevent others from selling us false hopes, which, unfortunately, seems to be very common -- at least, in the atmosphere I grew up in.

 

[SomeDisciple]

I was thinking of all the "women should NEVER chase men, under any circumstance" modern advice I've heard in the Christian circles I've been in.

"Chase" in my opinion, is a strong word. If a woman is chasing me, that sort of implies I am fleeing from her; and if I am fleeing from her, it's because I see her as a seductress, or a honeypot-trap. Otherwise, I'm pretty approachable. I would think most Christian men are not so elusive that they cannot even be approached by a Christian woman.... unless the women are working in swarms; which can be creepy.

 

[seoulsearch]

"Chase" in my opinion, is a strong word. If a woman is chasing me, that sort of implies I am fleeing from her; and if I am fleeing from her, it's because I see her as a seductress, or a honeypot-trap. Otherwise, I'm pretty approachable. I would think most Christian men are not so elusive that they cannot even be approached by a Christian woman.... unless the women are working in swarms; which can be creepy.

Lol!

And now I am wondering how I can find and join one of these "swarms"... Just kidding!

Actually... and I'm sure I know people who would agree with this -- when the people in a small town conservative church know you're single, they often DO seem to work in tandem (with a hive level mentality) to try to get you hitched.

At least, that's what I've seen.

Ain't that right, @Lynx?!

 

[Lanolin]

Well, it's nice to be ignored. Lol

 

[Reborn]

Hey Everyone,

The title of this thread is inspired the nursery rhyme, "This Little Piggy Went to Market" -- and particularly the lines:

"This Little Piggy Had Roast Beef ,
This Little Piggy Had None. "

We recently had a thread here asking why Christian men seem reluctant to pursue Christian women -- this, along with a conversation with a guy friend, made me think about when I was on Christian dating sites. It was a long time ago (and I have since moved on to other things in life,) but I was reminded of a particular conversation from that time.

I was talking to a guy who had written me, and he was very bitter about the fact that he sent out dozens of emails to women and never got a reply -- but he believed that women could just sit back with an inbox that was regularly full. He lamented that women could then just take their time selecting whomever they wanted from an entire catalog of suitors, then lead several guys on while trying to choose, while men either never heard back or else were given little crumbs of communication to keep them on the line.

I've heard this sentiment a few times and I certainly can't blame guys for feeling this way.

To me, this points out a huge dichotomy I've noticed in the world of Christian dating -- feminism is seen as being a root cause of breaking down relationships and the family unit. But at the same time, I've met many Christian men who, out of frustrationg, want women to turn the tide and go after them -- because they are tired of putting everything on the line and always being the ones who have to risk rejection.

I mention feminism because many of the Christian circles I've been around seem to believe that only men are to pursue, never women (Ruth was seen as a Biblical exception, but an anomaly,) so I'm guessing that this "new", "modern" belief that women should pursue men is also rooted in feminist beliefs? If not, where did it come from?

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

And so I sit back and watch the contrarian beliefs unfold that on one hand, some believe that men are to be the pursuers -- but on the other hand, many men are tired of the hassle, neglect, and rejection that it brings -- and so they want the women to start taking the risks instead.

Now of course, it's not always the case that "women are sitting back being pursued by a gaggle of men." I've known many wonderful single Christian gals -- and guys -- who aren't being pursued, and it seems unfair. But we all know the standards that affect even Christians -- people who are seen as beautiful or successful, from either gender -- will be more actively pursued that those of us who are just everyday plain Janes, whether men or women. I've seen many cases where Christian women go absolutely gaga, clawing and tearing at each other, when all competing for a charming, handsome, or successful Christian guy.

But where do you think the lines of Christian pursuit should fall?

* Is it fair that Christian culture seems to set up the very situation in which women might have several pursuers, while men have to endure waiting in line?

* Should this somehow be changed -- and if so, what changes should be made?

* Should women pursue men more often to "even things up"? Or should men continue to be the ones to "risk it all"?

* How can we uplift men who feel like they're just waiting in line, hoping that some woman will choose them?

If possible, let's try to keep the conversation informative and hopefully uplifting, for both guys and gals. The last thing I want is for this tobe a slug fest of bitterness or blame.

The whole goal of this thread is to discuss ways we can help both genders, and I'm looking forward to hearing your ideas of how to do so.

Hey, Kimmers.
(Sorry, I'm a little late to the party.)
Traffic.

I brought dip though...I hope everyone likes goopy cheese from a bottle?

As for the OP (great thread idea as always) I seem to get a ton of women in my DM inbox on many social media platforms. So I apologize, I'm lost?

Quick question though....

...is it to be expected for them to ask for large amounts of money, gift cards, kidneys, houses, places for relatives to stay? (...like...every single one of them!)

It's also amazing how many are from foreign places.

I know I've been out of the dating game for a bit, but is this totally normal, yes?

 

[Brasspen]

They should both chase each other. There should not either one be idle. If both are chasing then they can both get what they want. They can be mixed together much better if they both are going after each other. Those who don't want a relationship probably are hiding.

I have talked to God about what I want. But God knows what, I don't. Right now I have to wait until the metabolic problems that risperdal caused me are reversed enough that it would be possible.

 

[Lanolin]

Play tiggy? You're it!
Better than piggy in the middle. I hated that game. lol

There's this quiz game on TV called 'The chaser' and the chaser is a woman.

 

[Michaelarc]

Hey Everyone,

The title of this thread is inspired the nursery rhyme, "This Little Piggy Went to Market" -- and particularly the lines:

"This Little Piggy Had Roast Beef ,
This Little Piggy Had None. "

We recently had a thread here asking why Christian men seem reluctant to pursue Christian women -- this, along with a conversation with a guy friend, made me think about when I was on Christian dating sites. It was a long time ago (and I have since moved on to other things in life,) but I was reminded of a particular conversation from that time.

I was talking to a guy who had written me, and he was very bitter about the fact that he sent out dozens of emails to women and never got a reply -- but he believed that women could just sit back with an inbox that was regularly full. He lamented that women could then just take their time selecting whomever they wanted from an entire catalog of suitors, then lead several guys on while trying to choose, while men either never heard back or else were given little crumbs of communication to keep them on the line.

I've heard this sentiment a few times and I certainly can't blame guys for feeling this way.

To me, this points out a huge dichotomy I've noticed in the world of Christian dating -- feminism is seen as being a root cause of breaking down relationships and the family unit. But at the same time, I've met many Christian men who, out of frustrationg, want women to turn the tide and go after them -- because they are tired of putting everything on the line and always being the ones who have to risk rejection.

I mention feminism because many of the Christian circles I've been around seem to believe that only men are to pursue, never women (Ruth was seen as a Biblical exception, but an anomaly,) so I'm guessing that this "new", "modern" belief that women should pursue men is also rooted in feminist beliefs? If not, where did it come from?

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

And so I sit back and watch the contrarian beliefs unfold that on one hand, some believe that men are to be the pursuers -- but on the other hand, many men are tired of the hassle, neglect, and rejection that it brings -- and so they want the women to start taking the risks instead.

Now of course, it's not always the case that "women are sitting back being pursued by a gaggle of men." I've known many wonderful single Christian gals -- and guys -- who aren't being pursued, and it seems unfair. But we all know the standards that affect even Christians -- people who are seen as beautiful or successful, from either gender -- will be more actively pursued that those of us who are just everyday plain Janes, whether men or women. I've seen many cases where Christian women go absolutely gaga, clawing and tearing at each other, when all competing for a charming, handsome, or successful Christian guy.

But where do you think the lines of Christian pursuit should fall?

* Is it fair that Christian culture seems to set up the very situation in which women might have several pursuers, while men have to endure waiting in line?

* Should this somehow be changed -- and if so, what changes should be made?

* Should women pursue men more often to "even things up"? Or should men continue to be the ones to "risk it all"?

* How can we uplift men who feel like they're just waiting in line, hoping that some woman will choose them?

If possible, let's try to keep the conversation informative and hopefully uplifting, for both guys and gals. The last thing I want is for this tobe a slug fest of bitterness or blame.

The whole goal of this thread is to discuss ways we can help both genders, and I'm looking forward to hearing your ideas of how to do so.

Ok. Women,I guy might want you but has no idea of how to approach. We have insecurities. Fear of rejection. Men get rejected upon approaching more than women. Men are sometimes expected to read a woman and good luck ther if your trying to get a man by throwing out signs by just not saying up front I would like to know you. Men do get tired of effort and no fruit of labor trying. Figuring out a woman is all the way is impossible. But guys don't give up. Something that is helping me. Pay attention to what is spoken by her. Get to know the . Out of the heart the mouth speak. And we will know them by there fruit. So you can see if the person is good or not. Anything below the no ones business both ways till marriage. That's for both genders too. Show interest. Be generous. Let your interest show by letting them lead in the conversation and you can determine the comfort of the other person. If they can't get comfortable talking something is wrong. Take it slow. Don't do any mythic thinking like for example, are they saying or acting this way cause they plan this. No that's assumption. Makes people want to withdraw on something that could be a healthy relationship. Don't get someone for a status. Financial or public. A marriage should be for love and live alone. Yes to have someone also is being independent already. Cause now days getting by alone is hard for some with a job alone. Not everyone has careers. It's not proper to make someone who you claim you love be a burden to them. Now all of these things I mentioned I'm not preaching to the choir. I do this myself but unfortunately the other one I see hasn't arrived yet. I'm sure y'all have seen my posts here. Cuz I decided this is what I'm going to practice and it seems to be bearing fruit just with women I meet but I'm not ready for one yet but I've made some really good friends. So hopefully this will help both men and women if anybody reads this on this site.

 

[Lanolin]

Question as a female how do you really know if a guy likes you. What if you think, oh he's giving me flowers, chocolates, but that's just what everyone does anyway? So maybe that's nothing special.

Can you only tell if he always wants to hold your hand and tries to kiss you.
What if he's not very articulate and can't say the right words. Or speaks another language. How can you tell?

The one time a guy said 'I'd like to get to know you' it was my doctor in the hospital. I was freaked out, I couldn't tell if he was just being friendly/professional or he was meaning something else.

 

[SomeDisciple]

Can you only tell if he always wants to hold your hand and tries to kiss you.

No. Contrary to the song, it is not in his kiss. That's not where it is.

 

[cinder]

Hey, Kimmers.
(Sorry, I'm a little late to the party.)
Traffic.

I brought dip though...I hope everyone likes goopy cheese from a bottle?

As for the OP (great thread idea as always) I seem to get a ton of women in my DM inbox on many social media platforms. So I apologize, I'm lost?

Quick question though....

...is it to be expected for them to ask for large amounts of money, gift cards, kidneys, houses, places for relatives to stay? (...like...every single one of them!)

It's also amazing how many are from foreign places.

I know I've been out of the dating game for a bit, but is this totally normal, yes?

Yes it's totally normal for the scam artists to do this to everyone they can. But you're a fool if you give them a reply or anything else they ask for.

 

[SomeDisciple]

Yes it's totally normal for the scam artists to do this to everyone they can. But you're a fool if you give them a reply or anything else they ask for.

I laugh; but this is not actually funny. It is; but it's not. People fall for this stuff, and it is sad. It's stupid, but it's also very tragic. Nobody should be so dumb; but even if they are, they don't deserve to be taken advantage of like this; and even if they did deserve it, no one should be evil enough to do it.