Timing

  • Thread starter Thread starter Galatea
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notmyown said:
i am very sorry. i suspect you have a melancholic temperament, and the words of death are an outworking of that.

i'll just say if it ever becomes more serious, i hope you seek help, and i leave you with love.
may there be peace between us.
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No, I am not melancholic. I am actually optimistic and ever hopeful, which is probably my problem. I will hope forever that he will one day come back. I am not mentally sick, just foolishly optimistic. I keep hoping one day he will want someone real and something real rather than flirting with women on a superficial level.

I am not angry at you, just forever tired of everyone trying to tell me what to do and how to feel. It gets old being told I do not love, and what I feel is not real.
 
Galatea said:
No, I am not melancholic. I am actually optimistic and ever hopeful, which is probably my problem. I will hope forever that he will one day come back. I am not mentally sick, just foolishly optimistic. I keep hoping one day he will want someone real and something real rather than flirting with women on a superficial level.

I am not angry at you, just forever tired of everyone trying to tell me what to do and how to feel. It gets old being told I do not love, and what I feel is not real.
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oh, dear, never did i mean to imply you're mentally ill. melancholics are typically perfectionists, introverted and sensitive. i don't think that excludes the possibility of optimism. if i am mistaken, again, i apologize.

and i definitely don't mean to tell you how to feel, dear sister. it's my opinion (but it's just an opinion) you need to grieve, and no one gets to put a period on another person's grief, least of all me.

May mercy, peace and love be multiplied to you.
 
notmyown said:
oh, dear, never did i mean to imply you're mentally ill. melancholics are typically perfectionists, introverted and sensitive. i don't think that excludes the possibility of optimism. if i am mistaken, again, i apologize.

and i definitely don't mean to tell you how to feel, dear sister. it's my opinion (but it's just an opinion) you need to grieve, and no one gets to put a period on another person's grief, least of all me.

May mercy, peace and love be multiplied to you.
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It is alright, I am going to continue hoping. I think I would rather pretend there is hope than accept the reality that he does not want me. It is what I have decided to do. Anyway, he may one day come back.
 
Timing can be everything in love.

There really is a "right relationship" and a "wrong relationship".

It is all about meeting the person who values you and who you value, equally, coming together to become a strong partnership in the right time.

We might meet different people along the way but the timing reveals to us how they would not be suitable for us. In that time and season, maybe they were meant to teach us a lesson or bring us memories that we would cherish later on.

For some others, we realize it was really meaningless.

God knows whats best for us. It might hurt us in this time, but if we allow Him to heal us and move forward, we would realize that everything is better in God's timing, not ours. :)
 
Rachel20 said:
Timing can be everything in love.

There really is a "right relationship" and a "wrong relationship".

It is all about meeting the person who values you and who you value, equally, coming together to become a strong partnership in the right time.

We might meet different people along the way but the timing reveals to us how they would not be suitable for us. In that time and season, maybe they were meant to teach us a lesson or bring us memories that we would cherish later on.

For some others, we realize it was really meaningless.

God knows whats best for us. It might hurt us in this time, but if we allow Him to heal us and move forward, we would realize that everything is better in God's timing, not ours. :)
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I respectfully disagree with you. If two people are in love, then the time is always right. Waiting for someone to finish college, waiting for someone to move, waiting for someone to get over their last relationship, all of these are excuses. When you are in love, it is the right time.
 
Oh that's completely fair!

Its my perspective on life. :) I wanted to add this in my last post - lovely poem, it reads very well and expresses your sentiments eloquently.


Galatea said:
I respectfully disagree with you. If two people are in love, then the time is always right. Waiting for someone to finish college, waiting for someone to move, waiting for someone to get over their last relationship, all of these are excuses. When you are in love, it is the right time.
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I hope you don't mind me elaborating some of my personal thoughts again.

I would not be comfortable with someone rushing me into love or being serious, when I don't feel "ready" for it. I do think there is a time and place for love to happen - because the Bible does say this too in Ecclesiastes. (Chapter 3. A time for everything)

When I do decide to get serious, I know that there would be several aspects of my life that would have settled down and I would be more willing to give my time and energy to that person.

In my life, from personal experience, love and relationships have always had this thing of clashing with my goals and dreams - things that have been really my mission with God.

There would always be some emotional (in hindsight stupid) drama arising from it right before exams. It was a really effective tool of the enemy as a distraction in my case. I am just so grateful to God, He removed all that from my life.

When I hear people having relationship issues, I just smirk to myself and even joke with them - "I might have 99 problems, but the wrong relationship isn't one." :)
 
Also, time is the most valuable thing you can give to another person, because time is something you can never ever get back.

This is one question I always ask myself - 6 months from now, 1 year down the line or even 5 - will this incident, this person, these things matter to me?

It changes my perspective on how much of my valuable and precious time (I value it very, very much) I spend on it.
 
Rachel20 said:
Also, time is the most valuable thing you can give to another person, because time is something you can never ever get back.

This is one question I always ask myself - 6 months from now, 1 year down the line or even 5 - will this incident, this person, these things matter to me?

It changes my perspective on how much of my valuable and precious time (I value it very, very much) I spend on it.
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The man I love is significantly older than myself. I think he thinks we just met too late, but I believe it is not too late, and it doesn’t matter to me one bit that we are at different stages in life. I can adjust. You are right, time is important and valuable. He gave me a lot of his time. But now, I don’t know what he feels or thinks. Yes, it matters to me- very much. It will always matter to me. I can not adequately explain my personal makeup for anyone to understand. I have been designed or have become to be in such a way as to be ultramonogamous. What I mean is, I have never before been in love- and this is the only time I ever will be. Falling out of love and falling into love with another is unconscionable to me, foreign, something I am inable to do. So, yes, it matters to me more than anything else in the entire world.
 
I am sorry you are going through this Galatea.

I hope you don't mind me prying - but how old is this gentleman? Also quoting you verbatim, "I think he thinks we just met too late"...

Has he expressed that to you? Are you sure there isn't something else?

You also mention "He gave me a lot of his time. But now, I don’t know what he feels or thinks."

To me, he sounds like he might be emotionally unavailable.






Galatea said:
The man I love is significantly older than myself. I think he thinks we just met too late, but I believe it is not too late, and it doesn’t matter to me one bit that we are at different stages in life. I can adjust. You are right, time is important and valuable. He gave me a lot of his time. But now, I don’t know what he feels or thinks. Yes, it matters to me- very much. It will always matter to me. I can not adequately explain my personal makeup for anyone to understand. I have been designed or have become to be in such a way as to be ultramonogamous. What I mean is, I have never before been in love- and this is the only time I ever will be. Falling out of love and falling into love with another is unconscionable to me, foreign, something I am inable to do. So, yes, it matters to me more than anything else in the entire world.
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Rachel20 said:
I am sorry you are going through this Galatea.

I hope you don't mind me prying - but how old is this gentleman? Also quoting you verbatim, "I think he thinks we just met too late"...

Has he expressed that to you? Are you sure there isn't something else?

You also mention "He gave me a lot of his time. But now, I don’t know what he feels or thinks."

To me, he sounds like he might be emotionally unavailable.
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Oh, I’ve probably said too much already. Honestly, I didn’t know anyone would take a lot of notice of my poem. I don’t often read comments on people’s poetry. My poetry, quite frankly, sucks. The thread was really an excuse to post songs about how I feel about him, and my hopes. Anyway, thanks for your concern. I feel like a whiny brat, to be truthful.
 
No, please don't feel that way! It should be concerning when a member of the body of Christ is hurting and as such I consider you a friend :).

I am drawn to people who have dealt with broken hearts and rejection and I hope to help and support them. I understand if this is too personal and you would rather not discuss it in the forums.

Please feel free to send me a PM, but no pressure otherwise either. I wish you the best !

Galatea said:
Oh, I’ve probably said too much already. Honestly, I didn’t know anyone would take a lot of notice of my poem. I don’t often read comments on people’s poetry. My poetry, quite frankly, sucks. The thread was really an excuse to post songs about how I feel about him, and my hopes. Anyway, thanks for your concern. I feel like a whiny brat, to be truthful.
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Galatea said:
Oh, I’ve probably said too much already. Honestly, I didn’t know anyone would take a lot of notice of my poem. I don’t often read comments on people’s poetry. My poetry, quite frankly, sucks. The thread was really an excuse to post songs about how I feel about him, and my hopes. Anyway, thanks for your concern. I feel like a whiny brat, to be truthful.
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I know what it's like to have a broken heart and to know you love someone, but for some reason or another it isn't reciprocated. Just know you are a beautiful woman who deserves the very best and I have a feeling this guy knows that and feels like he isn't good enough. I would recommend praying for him on a daily basis, yet get involved with activities with friends and family and either two things can happen, he will come back or God may place someone else in your path and Gods things are beautiful and worth the wait. I believe love means wanting the greatest good for a person even if that person isn't supposed to be in your life in a romantic way. ((Hugs))
 
Rachel20 said:
No, please don't feel that way! It should be concerning when a member of the body of Christ is hurting and as such I consider you a friend :).

I am drawn to people who have dealt with broken hearts and rejection and I hope to help and support them. I understand if this is too personal and you would rather not discuss it in the forums.

Please feel free to send me a PM, but no pressure otherwise either. I wish you the best !
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Oh, it is alright. I am just embarrassed about airing my dirty laundry, so to speak. If he knew, he would be highly embarrassed as he is a very private person. So, saying all of this to random people seems like a betrayal on my part. I wish I had not made the thread, to be honest. It was an impulsive thing to do. But fools will be fools, as they say. Lol, please do not be concerned. I am quite alright. A tempest in a teapot.
 
renewed_hope said:
I know what it's like to have a broken heart and to know you love someone, but for some reason or another it isn't reciprocated. Just know you are a beautiful woman who deserves the very best and I have a feeling this guy knows that and feels like he isn't good enough. I would recommend praying for him on a daily basis, yet get involved with activities with friends and family and either two things can happen, he will come back or God may place someone else in your path and Gods things are beautiful and worth the wait. I believe love means wanting the greatest good for a person even if that person isn't supposed to be in your life in a romantic way. ((Hugs))
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Oh, no. You don’t know all the details. It is quite the other way around. It is I who is not good enough for him. If anyone knew the sheer PATIENCE he has had putting up with me, everyone would say he is a saint. Anyway, it is him or nuthin’ and I guess the nuthin’ is scaring the living daylights out of me. I am selfish enough to want him- God forgive me, even though I know I should be self sacrificing and want what is best for him, which most assuredly is not being with a looney tune. I guess I can just wait, and pretend he’ll come back. I always was a dreamer.
 
[video=youtube;KuRxXRuAz-I]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuRxXRuAz-I[/video]
 
[video=youtube;w-l5FyA3pgo]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-l5FyA3pgo[/video]
 
renewed_hope said:
I know what it's like to have a broken heart and to know you love someone, but for some reason or another it isn't reciprocated. Just know you are a beautiful woman who deserves the very best and I have a feeling this guy knows that and feels like he isn't good enough. I would recommend praying for him on a daily basis, yet get involved with activities with friends and family and either two things can happen, he will come back or God may place someone else in your path and Gods things are beautiful and worth the wait. I believe love means wanting the greatest good for a person even if that person isn't supposed to be in your life in a romantic way. ((Hugs))
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It would be for my greatest good to be with him. I know that already. It is meant to be, I know it. On a very elemental level, I believe I was made for him. But I can not say with equal certainty that it would be for his greatest good for me to be with him as I am a little neurotic (and that is putting it mildly).
 
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