Trying to figure out what's going wrong - Dating

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If its not the 3 days wait thing then would you possibly have bad breath. I'm not trying to be funny but just thinking of what would cause a lady to disappear?
 
I 'inactively look' for a wife. I don't date around, don't hit on every female that catches my attention. I make friends. Sometimes something more develops. But at least i know its developed because i know the person. Not because i barely know her and have already held her hand and kissed her. But because i have an established friendship and know that there is something to base the notion of a romantic relationship on deeper than being one of a thousand other dates in the past six months.

And yeah, 'go to the store'. But when you decide you want bbq chips, you don't go down the isle and buy every brand and walk out with 20 brands of chips so that you can make sure you find the right one. You assess, you look at price, perceived quality by the packaging, what just 'looks' good, maybe reference a past experience or friends suggestion, or whatever is a priority to you, and then make a decision.
 
Phew! A thousand dates in 6 months sounds EXHAUSTING!!! Do people actually do that? I mean, I'm sure not a thousand but more than 6 in 6 months hurts my brain. lol maybe I'm just weird.
 
Well i can surely relate with you..All i do is end up getting friend zoned or end up attracting women who end up being gay or bisexual. A friend jokingly says i 'turn them gay'. Maybe i am coming across too effeminate? Too sensitive? Maybe i should learn to spit better, split wood,work out more, get buff, get a deeper voice, get a mean face on and then i will actually attract women that are straight. I finally realized one that i really really liked recently is either gay,bi or confused. Funny, i was like..hmm. Why am i not surprised, it honestly has happened a lot. That or they end up fixing their 'issues' after dating me(social anxietys,PDA/public display affection fears) are more fun, or less stuffy after they date me. I claim i am the therapeutic boyfriend, just date me for a few months, and you will be awesome after dating me! Lol, either way its either that or they never really liked me and were more themselves after dating someone they really like..although thinking i may have somehow 'helped them be better' after dating me or the possibility that maybe i helped them brings me some comfort albeit i do joke about it sometimes. I guess it's my way of coping.
 
You could try being a jerk, not saying its the rule but you will attract some women. There are a crowd into guys like that. LoL jk
 
rauleetoe said:
Well i can surely relate with you..All i do is end up getting friend zoned or end up attracting women who end up being gay or bisexual. A friend jokingly says i 'turn them gay'. Maybe i am coming across too effeminate? Too sensitive? Maybe i should learn to spit better, split wood,work out more, get buff, get a deeper voice, get a mean face on and then i will actually attract women that are straight. I finally realized one that i really really liked recently is either gay,bi or confused. Funny, i was like..hmm. Why am i not surprised, it honestly has happened a lot. That or they end up fixing their 'issues' after dating me(social anxietys,PDA/public display affection fears) are more fun, or less stuffy after they date me. I claim i am the therapeutic boyfriend, just date me for a few months, and you will be awesome after dating me! Lol, either way its either that or they never really liked me and were more themselves after dating someone they really like..although thinking i may have somehow 'helped them be better' after dating me or the possibility that maybe i helped them brings me some comfort albeit i do joke about it sometimes. I guess it's my way of coping.
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Wow, I've never ran into that before. Maybe it's where you'remeeting these women? Do these women act feminine at all? My issue I'm almost positive after thinking about it is that I just come on too strong, I'm very indirect with my words but I'm very forward with my body language. I NEVER had this issue before I started exclusively dating only Christian women. It's a whole different world to be honest.

If you're getting friend zoned you need to put a little more into it. You gotta give off a sexual vibe (not in a sinful way, just the "Yes...I'm a MAN" type of vibe is what I mean) I guess there needs to be a medium in between what I tend to do and what you tend to do! lol

It's not about being a jerk. It's the qualities of a jerk that make him appealing to women. It's the indifference and they don't put women on a pedistal.
 
GuyforChrist85 said:
Wow, I've never ran into that before. Maybe it's where you'remeeting these women? Do these women act feminine at all? My issue I'm almost positive after thinking about it is that I just come on too strong, I'm very indirect with my words but I'm very forward with my body language. I NEVER had this issue before I started exclusively dating only Christian women. It's a whole different world to be honest.

If you're getting friend zoned you need to put a little more into it. You gotta give off a sexual vibe (not in a sinful way, just the "Yes...I'm a MAN" type of vibe is what I mean) I guess there needs to be a medium in between what I tend to do and what you tend to do! lol

It's not about being a jerk. It's the qualities of a jerk that make him appealing to women. It's the indifference and they don't put women on a pedistal.
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Indifference certainly has its good points i must say. I have found it very useful over the years
 
Snackersmom said:
Lol, ironically, I think YOU might have read too much into MY last paragraph! Truce? :)

All I was saying is that women are different (as you already know :)), and just because I wouldn't think that a guy thanking me for spending time with him equates to desperation, doesn't mean that another girl wouldn't hear it and go "Mwahahahahaha!!!! I've got him right where I want him, he's really groveling now!" That's why I said that I don't speak for all women. Regional differences may come into play as well; niceguyj and I live in the South, where it is common practice and considered gentlemanly for a guy to thank a girl for spending time with him; I've never viewed it as anything but heart-meltingly sweet.
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What that the girls I date aren't like you? I was clear when I replied saying that, correct?
 
Ugly said:
I 'inactively look' for a wife. I don't date around, don't hit on every female that catches my attention. I make friends. Sometimes something more develops. But at least i know its developed because i know the person. Not because i barely know her and have already held her hand and kissed her. But because i have an established friendship and know that there is something to base the notion of a romantic relationship on deeper than being one of a thousand other dates in the past six months.

And yeah, 'go to the store'. But when you decide you want bbq chips, you don't go down the isle and buy every brand and walk out with 20 brands of chips so that you can make sure you find the right one. You assess, you look at price, perceived quality by the packaging, what just 'looks' good, maybe reference a past experience or friends suggestion, or whatever is a priority to you, and then make a decision.
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I'm not getting offended here.. but this is directed at one of my previous posts.

Did I say go to the store and buy 20 brands of chips? Who said me or anyone else didn't have an understanding of the entire process at an effective level of relationship building?
 
SocialArtist said:
Thank you, I strongly agree with you. If you want food, ya gotta go to the supermarket. If you want a job, you've got to send out a resume. If you want anything, you gotta be actively pursuing it. Thanks man.
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Looks like i was indeed referring to you, and anyone who agreed with this response. Let me apologize though, for thinking i could express my opinion, or a different way of looking at the situation, especially for the OP who seemed to feel he has to date lots of women to find one.
Again, i apologize for thinking for myself and not just agreeing with you.

''Who said me or anyone else didn't have an understanding of the entire process at an effective level of relationship building?''

I don't know. It wasn't me, though. You should get together with that other guy who put words in my mouth a few days ago. You two could be good friends since you seem to have some things in common.
 
"Women are like Modern Art, you can't enjoy them if you try to understand them."
 
Ugly said:
I 'inactively look' for a wife. I don't date around, don't hit on every female that catches my attention. I make friends. Sometimes something more develops. But at least i know its developed because i know the person. Not because i barely know her and have already held her hand and kissed her. But because i have an established friendship and know that there is something to base the notion of a romantic relationship on deeper than being one of a thousand other dates in the past six months.

And yeah, 'go to the store'. But when you decide you want bbq chips, you don't go down the isle and buy every brand and walk out with 20 brands of chips so that you can make sure you find the right one. You assess, you look at price, perceived quality by the packaging, what just 'looks' good, maybe reference a past experience or friends suggestion, or whatever is a priority to you, and then make a decision.
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I freakin love it ..

Seriously this may be the best, and smartest thing i've read here in this forum.
 
I've never been big on the dating friends thing. Friends are friends and soomething completely different from a relationship like this. I try not to complicate things by mixing it all together.
 
You don't date friends. You apparently date a lot. Maybe that's why I don't date much. I don't have enough enemies. :eek:

Dating your enemies does sound like a fun way to get back at them. :D
 
Well I dont date enemies either. When I meet someone they go either in the datezone or the friendzone in my head. Yes guys have friendzones too ladies. And then I just keep the two groups separate. I tried the whole dating a friend thing my first two years of college and it was terrible when it ended. It was basically a custody battle between our friends and lots of people got their feelings hurt and wasn't worth it all so hence my new frieds and possibilites are separate policy.
 
I'm just messin' with ya because you're new and, well, to be honest, because it's fun for me :D

I understand what you mean. I am at a point right now where I am extremely hesitant to date people I consider to be good friends because, if it doesn't end well, you've lost a very good friend. :(
 
Jullianna said:
I'm just messin' with ya because you're new and, well, to be honest, because it's fun for me :D

I understand what you mean. I am at a point right now where I am extremely hesitant to date people I consider to be good friends because, if it doesn't end well, you've lost a very good friend. :(
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Exactly. Ya know, it all depends on how good of friends as well. Obviously I relate with the date around crowd since I started this thread, but ideally I agree that some level of friendship at the beginning is nice. Close women friends for me are out. It's just too weird and it's like dating my sister or something.

It's not an exact science, but you generally know when you meet someone if it's there or if it's not. Believe it or not, many of us men have the same romanticized fairytale that women have. Meet someone, become best of friends and fall in love. While this does happen, unfortunately it's very very rare. This is why you hear men complaining about being friendzoned, they think that they'll be the exception and if their just really really nice, the girl will fall for them. We gotta make things happen, it's just the way God designed it.
 
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