Aren't you the one doing this with this (and other) threads? Here is what you stated in the OP, and it is FALSE DOCTRINE: "Paul meant that water baptism is literally about becoming eligible to have an immortal resurrected body."
This is total nonsense. Just because some people in the church at Corinth were being baptized for the dead (meaning proxy baptism) you have jumped on this band wagon. But the rest of Scripture never teaches that (a) anyone should be baptized for those who have passed on or (b) without water baptism a Christian is not "eligible" for resurrection.
As Matthew Henry says in his commentary "But who shall interpret this very obscure passage, which, though it consists of no more than three words, besides the articles, has had more than three times three senses put on it by interpreters? It is not agreed what is meant by baptism, whether it is to be taken in a proper or figurative sense, and, if in a proper sense, whether it is to be understood of Christian baptism properly so called, or some other ablution. And as little is it agreed who are the dead, or in what sense the preposition hyper is to be taken."
Feel free to follow the doctrines of men like Matthew Henry, but clearly what Paul meant is that baptism is necessary to be resurrected. You failed miserably to refute that by quoting scripture. The more you talk about quote your worthless commentaries written by people the more you fail. You have no scripture again, again, and again. You’re a false teacher and the word of God rebukes you.
Matthew 7:15-20
15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.