What are a person's RED FLAGS that say, "don't date me."

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Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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Ok, positive traits aside as Christians we are all striving toward much the same end.

My question is what are the big TURN OFFS that pop up out of someone that seems to have all of the right things going for them.

This is not things that people you don't like do, this is things that people you do like do to make you not like them any more.

Like a wonderful girl with a big heart BUT, She is afraid of Grass, Men, Dairy Products, Heights, Water, Horses, Motorcycles, Dirt, Roller Coasters, riding in Anything smaller than a Suburban, Minorities, Restrooms, Travel and Too Much Sun.

Just to make this sound a little less like me pointing the finger at peoples flaws. I would like to point out that I used to be pretty financially irresponsible (or at least was) and I'm paying for that. My driving record hasn't been the best either, not that I've ever been in an accident but, I used to think that Speed Limits were just a silly suggestion. I'm pretty impulsive and adventurous (think Aladdin).


OK so... here are my top 5 red flags in people that otherwise seem to have Good things going for them. =)

1. A girl that is not curious about anything, or has no impulsive desire to understand things. (Wisdom)
2. A girl that has no desire to travel or see new exciting adventurous places. (Experience)
3. A girl that believes her purpose in life is to make babies. (Purpose)
4. A girl that believes nothing/everything is sacred. To be hers is to share her with the world. (Loyalty)
5. A girl that has no respect for her parents or people in positions of Authority. (Respect)

So mind you theses are not bad people, these are the good people but with a RED FLAG that make them impossible companions.
 
My red flags for someone not to date is someone who expects me to be wise, experienced, purposeful, loyal, and respectful.
 
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When he starts asking to stick needles in my face.
 
If they are close minded. Open mindedness = endless possibilities, including salvation if they are not saved
 
Obviously anyone who denies Christ would be off of my list, but I don't think that's where you were going with this, so, these are mine:

1. Whining (We all have our moments, but it's a hobby for some folks)
2. Extremely materialistic
3. Vain
4. Unduly critical of others/bitterness
5. No desire to learn/try anything new
 
When you talk to them and mention God is important in your life and they do not acknowledge that fact. I am not saying that a girl needs to immediately profess her faith in God, but if I bring up God important in my life then its important she too can tell me her faith in God too.
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zeroturbulence said:
O come on, I just needed someone to practice my botox injections on. I still don't know why your mad about this. The pain should have only last a couple of weeks.
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I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEVEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






















however you could buy me things with big diamonds in it... that might help........... a little :D
 
when she has frequent conversations with her imaginary friend that lives in the mailbox
 
Red Flags:
1. His language
2. If he doesn't pay attention in worship
3. A lack of respect for his family
4. A lack of respect for himself
 
i don't know when i was dating I judged guys based on how they treated their mother

If they didn't love or insulted their parents, or if they were wimps and folded to everything and did not stand up for themselves or me when their parents insulted either, if they changed in the presence of their parents and if they don't want to introduce me to their parents or friends or if they mom decides to have a "sex" talk with me. Yeah I had to sit through that one. its more their reaction to their parents (one can't control one's parents but you can DO something though), if it is of love and understanding or bitterness and resentment or fear.

Also if they didn't have at least one close guy friend that showed they could have long term friendships with another human being or if they have a girl friend who really wants to be more and they are clueless about it.

those are all red flags for time to extract oneself out of the relationship.
 
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1. has too be hones

2. family person not a red flag but i like the fact of bf knowing my family and me knowing his..this way we can really know each other... if a man dates you for so long and you never meet his friends or family.. then you gotta ask why not... mmmm

3. doesn't believe in marriage- i had a guy claim and claim and propose too me so many times and when i finally said yes and we set a time too get engaged.. he ended saying he stopped believing..

4. has too respect his mother and father especially mother .. i mean how this man treats his mom is how he well treat girl...

5.try's too be the macho man..what i mean by that..his way or the high way.. i mean how can something work out when he has that attitude..

6.isolation- when a guy freaks out when you are out with your friends.. and starts bashing your friends.. leave now.. it could get worse...

7. Never let a guy take control of relationship or bash you.. my ex would..get mad if i went too church or if i went out with friends..

8. Don't let him isolate you... if he deny's too meet up with your friends or meet them.. or wants nothing too do with family...leave... itll get worse..

9. when he wants you too go out of your way ... and he wont put much into it too go your way.. nope i like when both put into but if the girls has too travel too see man every time and if he is too lazy.. too meet up.. then its going down hill leave.. don't let this happen...

all red flags i experimented..with my past relationship..

i know my list is long.. but i have reasons for this list...
 
Okay, I'm trying to picture it. So a really fit lass, who also happens to be a Christian has been on my radar for quite some time. What things would put me off her? Let me think...

So I get chatting to her and, in the course of the conversation I get out my cigarettes and offer her one too out of politeness. If she accepts, or politely declines, then all is well. However, if she starts parroting anti-smoking propaganda, gets hysterical, is offended that I even dared offer her a cigarette, or even turns her nose up and/or makes subtle-not so subtle offensive remarks about smokers then, yes, a big fat red flag.

If I'm talking to her and she starts dropping Bible quotations, Jesus or evangelical one liners into the conversation even though it is of no relevance whatsoever then I'd probably think she were odd. A yellow flag maybe. However, if she nailed her colours to the mast as a dyed in the wool evang, or worse, charismatic evang (maybe even starting to dance), and then went on to preach her flawed (as I understand it) theology at me, then I'm reaching for my red flag, but I'd probably hang on just to see if there were any redeeming features. However, the minute she starts caricaturing and misrepresenting other branches of Christianity (usually it's the Catholics, but it could be others) then the red flag goes up.

The only other traits that immediately spring to mind would be serious moral, religious, political or rational failings in some regard, either in her actions or in her beliefs. For example, if she persisted in logical nonsense, if she were very left wing/authoritarian etc. if she didn't think abortions were wrong by necessity, or she expressed grossly vindictive sentiments towards criminals/people she doesn't like then I'm reaching for the flag.
 
My turn offs... Hmm..

-unathletic/out of shape
- smoke ANYTHING.
-close minded
-too nerdy (some nerdiness is cute. like Tina Fay. But not TOO much)
-If I dress better than she does, there's a problem haha
-racist/prejudice/homophobic/anti-semitic or anti-islamic
-unintelligent (not interested or knowledgeable about political and world events)
 
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