What are a person's RED FLAGS that say, "don't date me."

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I think you might be missing the point.

Its not oh they were secretly bad girls, because you clearly wouldn't be dating them if that was the case. However you are in the single's forum which usually means you are single.

With that being the case there must have been a time in your life where a seemingly perfect woman you were in relationship or seriously considered being in a relationship, showed signs of something that made you realize that in spite of all the she had going for her, she was not right FOR YOU.

Clearly the behavior they were insinuating, was not what God would have for you.

I'm not talking about some objective standard. Or even a Biblical one. For some guys the fact that a Believer has not been pure, has a bad credit score, or even if she collects Jack Chik tracts, that is reason enough to take her out of the running for marriage material. (FOR SOME GUYS)
 
In spite of everything we may or may not put on our" lists", sometimes a terrific person can come along, but God says no because He knows that person will be a hindrance in our walk with Him for whatever reason. He has someone better for them AND for us.

Before I met my husband I knew this great guy. He was fun, sweet, adventurous, smart, and curious, but God said no because the guy was not a christian (and I was far too young anyway). I married an awesome christian guy and later the other guy married a strong christian lady, and all four people came to walk closely with the Lord. I realize now that if I hadn't listened to the Lord and had stayed with the other guy, I doubt that either of us would be walking with the Lord because we were too much alike. We each needed someone who balanced us out. My marriage was awesome and I was incredibly happy. I'm still friends to this day with the other couple and they've been married for nearly 20 years now. :)

God can be trusted with our lives. He has something far better for each of us than we dare to imagine. I don't want to put limits on that.
 
dont date me/make me hope if you...

... selfish
... scared of changes
... have no respect to yourself and the people around you
... not serious about a relationship and further
... lie to me
... not a christian
 
My red flags:
1) Ethnocentrism. Not willing to get to know my culture is a giant no-no for me.
2) Homophobia, but we don't need to discuss this here.
3) Unwilling to learn new things. One of the things that attracts me in a guy is if he likes to learn things voraciously. If he is not eager about anything, we might not have anything to talk about.
4) Has no extra-curricular activities outside of church.
5) Immaturity. If he stomps off or hangs up the phone after an argument, he is clearly not capable of an adult relationship. Fart jokes are also not funny.
6) Drug or Alcohol abuse filled past.

I am sure a lot of other things irritate me, but I am accepting of almost all fault except the ones mentioned above. Everyone has something that they are not proud of.
 
I had two guys walk up to me pull out some money and ask me to sign it because girls gone wild was their favorite thing to watch, and they insisted i was one of the girls off of it, i tried to tell them it wasnt me! but of course they wouldnt listen so i just signed the money.


This of course in no way is a red flag....
 
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEVEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






















however you could buy me things with big diamonds in it... that might help........... a little :D
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But diamonds are a girl's best friend, and I don't want to have to compete to be your best friend. :p
 
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
I had two guys walk up to me pull out some money and ask me to sign it because girls gone wild was their favorite thing to watch, and they insisted i was one of the girls off of it, i tried to tell them it wasnt me! but of course they wouldnt listen so i just signed the money.


This of course in no way is a red flag....
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I actually met a girl online a few years ago who was one of the girls in one of those videos and she said they didn't care that she was only 17 at the time. They gave her a t-shirt, a hat and some free videos as compensation. She said they couldn't pay her money. Thats probably so they could legally say that they didn't pay her so they can't be charged with soliciting a minor.
 
I would say the biggest ed flag for me would be when I girl tells me that her real name is Rick....
 
zeroturbulence said:
I actually met a girl online a few years ago who was one of the girls in one of those videos and she said they didn't care that she was only 17 at the time. They gave her a t-shirt, a hat and some free videos as compensation. She said they couldn't pay her money. Thats probably so they could legally say that they didn't pay her so they can't be charged with soliciting a minor.
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Interesting. Though if it was just nudity and no sex, then it may not necessarily have been illegal.
 
Maddog said:
Interesting. Though if it was just nudity and no sex, then it may not necessarily have been illegal.
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True, and it didn't matter anyway because filming an underage girl's bare chest is an even bigger crime. The creator has been arrested and tried several times over the years but none of the charges have stuck so far.
 
pride...because then they are too proud to admit it which leads to a damaging relationship
 
In no particular order of priority:

1) overly critical
2) judgemental (e.g. not wearing the "right" clothes, hair not right)
3) whining
4) too demanding beyond reasonable standards
5) lack of eye contact
6) "woe is me" syndrome
7) snootiness
8) doesn't know how to accept a compliment
9) lack of common courtesy
10) overdressing and too much makeup
 
One of he worst red flags are when He/she lies or makes up false prophesies to make you beleive they are the one for you. Charming and attractive, jesus loving and sounds good and all, but deadly misleading lol
 
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xtinaz said:
One of he worst red flags are when He/she lies or makes up false prophesies to make you beleive they are the one for you. Charming and attractive, jesus loving and sounds good and all, but deadly misleading lol
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I see that a lot. Especially in guys.

I knew a youth Pastor who played weird angles to get women to like him. Totally Smarmy by any other standard but, because of his position, people would just think that he was ''Inspired."

He was a ''Hugger'' and loved to hold beautiful women's hands to pray over random stuff. Everyone likes him, so when I call him on it, it makes me look like a Jackalope.
 
Liamson said:
I see that a lot. Especially in guys.

I knew a youth Pastor who played weird angles to get women to like him. Totally Smarmy by any other standard but, because of his position, people would just think that he was ''Inspired."

He was a ''Hugger'' and loved to hold beautiful women's hands to pray over random stuff. Everyone likes him, so when I call him on it, it makes me look like a Jackalope.
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Not that I would recommend the movie at all, but that reminds me of "Just Friends"!
 
Liamson said:
Yes, exactly. I don't understand how people can't see through that kind of stuff. Mind Boggling.
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Unfortunatley I had to find that one out myself. I can see it from a young womens perspective especially when your a new beleiver, you see everyone in your church as holy and righteous forgetting that everyone is human and just because you reside in a church doesnt make you a christian :) Vulnerable. ANy 'prophetic vision or dream from God' is apealing when you dont have wisdom.

It took me out for atleast 6months - I was so caught up in him but I would never take it to a relationship level until I had 'confirmation'. Im lucky I didnt listen to people. The fact that I had an unrelenting unpeace about him all the time was a great indication of not being Gods will.

I thank God for pulling me through that, it could have turned out real nasty. Its grown me heaps!

I see it heaps too also - even in leadership. So know what you mean. They look so innocent on the outside but their heart screams deceit.

SO yup definate 'DONT DATE ME' red flag - unfortunatley its not so outspoken and obvious
 
On this site beware of getting involved with guys who only have females on their friends list. Usually means there girl crazy and just want females attention. Desperate sums it up
 
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