I don’t think I had truly experienced loss until this month. A man who had been my friend, mentor, and, in a lot of ways, a personal hero died. It’s not the first time someone I loved has died, but I fear there is a finality with his death that is difficult to come to grips with.
When my grandpa passed nearly ten years ago, I felt the loss. He was a great man of integrity who I learned some great lessons, and my older siblings and I were raised in part by him for part of our childhood. Even now when I reflect back on when he passed, I don’ remember the sense of loss or the weeping I have endured this month. It isn’t that I loved my grandpa less than my friend who passed, not in the least, but there wasn’t the finality then that I feel now.
When my grandpa died those years ago, there was no doubt I would see him again. He was such a strong believer in Christ and had spent years sharing the gospel. As a believer, I know I will see him again. Today though with my friend passing away, I don’t have that reassurance, quite the opposite. My friend was an intellectual. He was so brilliant some would be afraid to talk to him simply because they couldn’t follow the topics he could discuss. Often I found myself lost in our conversations, but he was also a man who was there for me and brought me back when I wanted to end my own life.
I never discussed Christ with him for simple fear of not wanting to argue Christ with Him and fear of not being a strong enough spokesman for Christ. I would give anything for those opportunities again. I had made the mistake of thinking it was my job to convert Him, when only now can I say that was never my job. My job was to be obedient to God in the times He has led me to speak to someone about Him. God will deal with them and work on their hearts, I can’t do that.
There is a finality now, because I don’t think I will see my friend again. There won’t be a joyous reunion in Heaven where I can thank him for all he did for me. The Bible tells us that we don’t know the day or the hour of Christ’s return. We also don’t know the day or the hour when those friends and loved ones will no longer be with us on this earth. As a believer in Christ, don’t let this life be the last time you see them.
What are you waiting for?
When my grandpa passed nearly ten years ago, I felt the loss. He was a great man of integrity who I learned some great lessons, and my older siblings and I were raised in part by him for part of our childhood. Even now when I reflect back on when he passed, I don’ remember the sense of loss or the weeping I have endured this month. It isn’t that I loved my grandpa less than my friend who passed, not in the least, but there wasn’t the finality then that I feel now.
When my grandpa died those years ago, there was no doubt I would see him again. He was such a strong believer in Christ and had spent years sharing the gospel. As a believer, I know I will see him again. Today though with my friend passing away, I don’t have that reassurance, quite the opposite. My friend was an intellectual. He was so brilliant some would be afraid to talk to him simply because they couldn’t follow the topics he could discuss. Often I found myself lost in our conversations, but he was also a man who was there for me and brought me back when I wanted to end my own life.
I never discussed Christ with him for simple fear of not wanting to argue Christ with Him and fear of not being a strong enough spokesman for Christ. I would give anything for those opportunities again. I had made the mistake of thinking it was my job to convert Him, when only now can I say that was never my job. My job was to be obedient to God in the times He has led me to speak to someone about Him. God will deal with them and work on their hearts, I can’t do that.
There is a finality now, because I don’t think I will see my friend again. There won’t be a joyous reunion in Heaven where I can thank him for all he did for me. The Bible tells us that we don’t know the day or the hour of Christ’s return. We also don’t know the day or the hour when those friends and loved ones will no longer be with us on this earth. As a believer in Christ, don’t let this life be the last time you see them.
What are you waiting for?