What Do You Plan to Explain to Someone or Want Explained to You "Someday" When You and the Other Person Are Older?

[seoulsearch]

Hey Everyone,

This thread is inspired by the "What is Sexually Immoral in Marriage?" thread we have going on in Singles.

Along with some thoughtful insights, there's also been some playful banter, such as @Snackersmom telling @tourist,

You don't need to know right now, I will explain it when you are older 😜

This got me thinking:

* What are some thing you have told someone else, "I'll explain it when you're older"? Did you later explain it to them? Why or why not? Or are you still waiting?

* What things did someone tell YOU, "I'll explain it when you're older"? Did they actually explain it when you got older? Did you have to learn/seek it out from someone else, or did you figure it out on your own?

* How do you tell when someone is "older" "enough" to be ready to hear what you need to explain?

* What things do YOU still hope someone will explain to you when you get older?


For example, I always tell my parents that to me, they are forever age 45. Plot twist: my parents are not actually 45. Someday when I get older, I hope they'll explain to me how they've stayed so active and youthful at heart.

What about you?

All are welcome to answer, and all answers, whether serious or silly, will be appreciated.

 

[Lynx]

I have heard about many people telling many other people this. I cannot recall a single time anybody has told me this or I have told anybody this.

That seems odd. It seems like somebody should have told me this at some point in my life, as curious as I am and as nosy as I can be.

 

[NightTwister]

I refused to say anything negative about my 1st wife to our daughter, who I raised after she abandoned us. Later in life she figured it out on her own, which I still believe was the right thing to do.

 

[seoulsearch]

I refused to say anything negative about my 1st wife to our daughter, who I raised after she abandoned us. Later in life she figured it out on her own, which I still believe was the right thing to do.

Kudos to you for respecting your ex through everything.

I worked with a single mom who was absolutely distraught when her kids went through a phase of constantly praising their father, who never paid a dime towards their well-being, and claimed they wanted to go live with him.

A few years passed and they actually tried staying with him for just a few weeks -- then promptly came home and thanked their mother for everything she'd done for them, as they could now see how disinterested (and unemployed) their father really was for themselves.

 

[NightTwister]

Kudos to you for respecting your ex through everything.

Actually, the respect was for my daughter.

 

[seoulsearch]

Actually, the respect was for my daughter.

I can understand this, but I also have to say that in respecting your daughter, there was also a by-product of showing respect for your ex, giving your daughter an excellent example of how to do good to those who harm us.

 

[Tall_Timbers]

I don't think I ever told my kids I'd explain something to them when they're older. There is one thing I for sure failed at as a parent... and I'm sure I had many more failures, but this one comes to mind easily:

When the kids were little I liked to joke with them quite a bit. In church I'd only give them pennies to put in the basket and if I didn't have any pennies I'd tell them I was sorry but I didn't have any pennies for them to put in the basket. I never let them in on what I donated to the church via a check... I'm pretty big on doing donations as anonymously as possible... but I didn't realize that leaving my kids out of the loop was setting an example for them that they might actually follow their entire lives...

Now my oldest son who is a born again Believer, while talking to me on the phone one day brought up the subject of tithes and offerings. What he learned from his dad left him a bit confused on the topic. Realizing my parental mistake, I shared a general overview of my history with regards to charity and explained that I was just having fun with my kids with regards to the pennies thing...

Growing up my parents were veterans of The Great Depression and WWII. Their generation tended not to talk about things hard to talk about. My dad once asked me to go on a walk with him and given the way he asked, I understood that he wanted to talk to me about something. Well, we finished our walk and my dad never did broach any topics. That ladies and gentlemen, was my birds and the bees talk.

 

[Lynx]

I refused to say anything negative about my 1st wife to our daughter, who I raised after she abandoned us. Later in life she figured it out on her own, which I still believe was the right thing to do.

Yeah... I have never heard my dad say one bad thing about my mother.

I don't know if he knows what she has said about him. I have never told him. I'll tell him when he gets older...

I'm pretty sure he knew she was tearing him down. It had to have hurt like crazy. But when I grew up and gained a little perspective, I wound up having a lot more respect for him.

One time my half brother, who is mentally disabled, met my father. Later he said to me, "Rick is a pretty nice person. I don't know why Mom said he was such a bad guy." Oof! How do I reply to that?!