What Do You See as "Dating"?

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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#1
May 23, 2009
17,409
6,244
113
#1
Hello Everybody,

I was thinking today, with the boom of technology and how we all depend upon it for daily communication, do you feel that this vast shift in means of communication have changed the definition of dating?

For myself, I always thought of "dating" as spending time with the person you are romantically interested in and getting to know for the purpose of a future marriage. I envisioned the vast part of dating being spent in spending actual time in each others' company--going to social events together, movies, restaurants, etc.

But do you feel things like the internet, Facebook, Twitter, texting, etc. have changed all that?

If you have a romantic interest but can't spend physical time with them due to distance or whatever the case may be, and if your time with them consists of only technological means such as calls, internet chats, and texts (or letters, if you still believe in the old-school "technology" of pen and paper :)), do you still consider yourself to be dating that person? And do you see it as exclusive? (As in, the only person you are romantically interested in is that person and you aren't trying to date anyone else but them, whether in the real space around you or in cyberspace.)

What are your thoughts?
 
F

FixYourWeave

Guest
#2
#2
I see dating as a series of unfortunate events. I go on a date and inevitably he starts crying, or walks over to another girl during the date and asks for her number. It just never seems to work out. hmmm maybe its me lol
 
Moviefan2k4

Moviefan2k4

Banned
#3
Mar 18, 2009
190
2
0
#3
I think that the so-called "techno boom", as you called it, has certainly changed the methods of dating, but the general point of it hasn't shifted too much, aside from public perception.

A very, very long time ago (a.k.a. "the 1950s"), dating was pretty much as you described it. Guys asked girls out in person, and it generally went from there. But in the last 15 years or so, the methods have expanded like crazy. Now, you could "date" a person a full country away if you wanted, without ever leaving the comfort of your own home...but therein, as they say, lies the danger.

If your "date" merely consists of a few spoken words on voice chat, or an email every other day, there's no genuine face-to-face communication going on, and that can lead to a false impression of your "potential spouse". After all, how well can you truly know someone if you never even spend any "real world" time with them? You may learn their likes and dislikes, and hear some life stories...but their personality quirks, true emotional intimacy...those aren't possible with "cyber-dating" alone. There's a certain aspect to relationships - both dating and otherwise - that can only be fostered through the experience of seeing each other every day; without it, everything remains a shadow of what could be.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#4
May 23, 2009
17,409
6,244
113
#4
Moviefan2k4 said:
I think that the so-called "techno boom", as you called it, has certainly changed the methods of dating, but the general point of it hasn't shifted too much, aside from public perception.

A very, very long time ago (a.k.a. "the 1950s"), dating was pretty much as you described it. Guys asked girls out in person, and it generally went from there. But in the last 15 years or so, the methods have expanded like crazy. Now, you could "date" a person a full country away if you wanted, without ever leaving the comfort of your own home...but therein, as they say, lies the danger.

If your "date" merely consists of a few spoken words on voice chat, or an email every other day, there's no genuine face-to-face communication going on, and that can lead to a false impression of your "potential spouse". After all, how well can you truly know someone if you never even spend any "real world" time with them? You may learn their likes and dislikes, and hear some life stories...but their personality quirks, true emotional intimacy...those aren't possible with "cyber-dating" alone. There's a certain aspect to relationships - both dating and otherwise - that can only be fostered through the experience of seeing each other every day; without it, everything remains a shadow of what could be.
Click to expand...

I have to agree about the lack of face-to-face time... I'd have a hard time with that... but I have a good friend... he met a girl in Russia. All they had was the internet for about a year... so, all of their communication and "dates" were via computer... he went there for about 3 weeks, and then she came here for about 2... she came back, they got married, and have been together ever since (about 5 years.)

It's interesting to me how technology changes our social interfaces... for the good and the bad.
 
M

michiru_maeda

Guest
#5
#5
i knew some guys via skype. we met. talked. go home. it's just hang out w/ aquaintances.
 
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