What happened??

  • Thread starter Thread starter LittleBit1987
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LittleBit1987

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I honestly wish I knew what happened to my life in the past 3 months... I know my husband and I bought a house, we got out of a busy city that was only growing more by the day. I know my in-laws are much happier and proud of us for buying our house closer to them, and closer to family and our church family... I know my mom has come out and told the family she has an addiction to pain pills..... I know that I am trying so hard to get this house put together piece by piece so I can show it off to my friends and have them say 'what a good job you guys did!' But I seem to forget about my closest friends and talking to them, and making sure they have what they need and have been prayed for. I don't know what else to say, I mean what more IS there to say other than being honest and admitting that I am NOT the perfect friend. I have my own downfalls.... I have my own plate full.... I still have my own struggles in life and inner battles. But no one is willing to come to me and ask ME how I am.... or tell me that i am full of it and I need to speak up and let someone know there is a problem with me and I need to get it fixed. People.... I am NOT perfect, I am broken on the inside in more ways than I can count... and No one knows how broken I really am. It's not something I want to blast to the whole world.... but I can't keep it bottled up either. I will com-bust one day and it wont be pretty... :(

My childhood was a mess.... my teenage years... not much better.... my early 20's.... I finally got a break in life.... and Now things are starting to just get harder to deal with. No, I don't have an addiction, no i don't drink or smoke.... or have depression.... just... I am broken. my heart is looking for more love from the physical side.... and I cant find it. It's not that my husband isnt enough, i just want more....sounds selfish I know, but what can you do? I still read my devotionals, I still go to church, I get more involved there actually. I just want to find what is missing in my heart and it kills me cause now I have people mad at me... and I hate it when anyone is mad at me. I feel like I have to please everyone all the dang time and I know that's not possible. But I have heard that friends come and go right? well.... what if you have been friends with someone for about...10 years.... then what?
 
Not to be mean but you mention "I am this way and this is affecting me" a lot. You have a home, husband, money, health, family. Sometimes life just seems to suck because we lose focus or expect too much or have differing perspective of others and ourselves and especially God!
Happiness is transient in this life. I wish you well and hope your walk of faith progresses in a positive way for you and your family.
 
Hmmmm. sounds like you have a burden. It sounds like you are being led to something more rewarding and purposeful. I don't know what your gifts are, but maybe you need to start using the ones you maybe ne neglecting and see what more the Lord can do through you.
I hope this helps even is i was way of, LOL
 
LB, if she's a true friend, she'll understand and realize that you're dealing with alot of stuff right now, and that sometimes she is NOT always going to be a top priority on your list. We all have bad crap to deal with, and I'm actually dealing with some of my own issues right now, the two most pressing being impending back surgery and an ill cat that I'm trying to get up the courage to do the right thing for. Things like this aren't easy, and I'm sure your ordeal isn't either.
 
Being I love to sing I always think in songs....

Take It To The Lord In Prayer
~What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!


Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.


Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.


Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised
Thou wilt all our burdens bear;
May we ever, Lord, be bringing
All to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright, unclouded,
There will be no need for prayer—
Rapture, praise, and endless worship
Will be our sweet portion there.

Praying you will find comfort in Jesus through these demanding times.
 
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