L
LittleBit1987
Guest
I honestly wish I knew what happened to my life in the past 3 months... I know my husband and I bought a house, we got out of a busy city that was only growing more by the day. I know my in-laws are much happier and proud of us for buying our house closer to them, and closer to family and our church family... I know my mom has come out and told the family she has an addiction to pain pills..... I know that I am trying so hard to get this house put together piece by piece so I can show it off to my friends and have them say 'what a good job you guys did!' But I seem to forget about my closest friends and talking to them, and making sure they have what they need and have been prayed for. I don't know what else to say, I mean what more IS there to say other than being honest and admitting that I am NOT the perfect friend. I have my own downfalls.... I have my own plate full.... I still have my own struggles in life and inner battles. But no one is willing to come to me and ask ME how I am.... or tell me that i am full of it and I need to speak up and let someone know there is a problem with me and I need to get it fixed. People.... I am NOT perfect, I am broken on the inside in more ways than I can count... and No one knows how broken I really am. It's not something I want to blast to the whole world.... but I can't keep it bottled up either. I will com-bust one day and it wont be pretty... 
My childhood was a mess.... my teenage years... not much better.... my early 20's.... I finally got a break in life.... and Now things are starting to just get harder to deal with. No, I don't have an addiction, no i don't drink or smoke.... or have depression.... just... I am broken. my heart is looking for more love from the physical side.... and I cant find it. It's not that my husband isnt enough, i just want more....sounds selfish I know, but what can you do? I still read my devotionals, I still go to church, I get more involved there actually. I just want to find what is missing in my heart and it kills me cause now I have people mad at me... and I hate it when anyone is mad at me. I feel like I have to please everyone all the dang time and I know that's not possible. But I have heard that friends come and go right? well.... what if you have been friends with someone for about...10 years.... then what?
My childhood was a mess.... my teenage years... not much better.... my early 20's.... I finally got a break in life.... and Now things are starting to just get harder to deal with. No, I don't have an addiction, no i don't drink or smoke.... or have depression.... just... I am broken. my heart is looking for more love from the physical side.... and I cant find it. It's not that my husband isnt enough, i just want more....sounds selfish I know, but what can you do? I still read my devotionals, I still go to church, I get more involved there actually. I just want to find what is missing in my heart and it kills me cause now I have people mad at me... and I hate it when anyone is mad at me. I feel like I have to please everyone all the dang time and I know that's not possible. But I have heard that friends come and go right? well.... what if you have been friends with someone for about...10 years.... then what?