What Happens When Looks Fade? (And Why Are We Still So Concerned About Them?)
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mom has an interesting perspective on aging...
she'll point to a wrinkle saying, this one i got worrying for your sister's vision when she had measles.
this one i got grinning through your ballet recital.
this one is from laughing at dad's jokes.
though we should do what we can to take care of ourselves, i can't help imagining 'what if' i had spent as much time with God as i did working out, or studying and choosing the best food to eat...
do what we can, and some of us were dealt better hands in terms of genes, too.
but don't get all caught up with outward appearance.
time will pass. aging will happen.
deal with it.
she'll point to a wrinkle saying, this one i got worrying for your sister's vision when she had measles.
this one i got grinning through your ballet recital.
this one is from laughing at dad's jokes.
though we should do what we can to take care of ourselves, i can't help imagining 'what if' i had spent as much time with God as i did working out, or studying and choosing the best food to eat...
do what we can, and some of us were dealt better hands in terms of genes, too.
but don't get all caught up with outward appearance.
time will pass. aging will happen.
deal with it.
I'm like fruitcake. My shelf life is longer than the life of the shelf.
And you're all the way over there, and I'm all the way over here, and you can't reach me, nyah!
Hi, Lynx... I have my own shelf... Wanna see?
I'm sure Lynx will have a look just as soon as he finishes answering all the other personal ads in the Singles Forum!
I'm sure Lynx will have a look just as soon as he finishes answering all the other personal ads in the Singles Forum!
how many are there??
note to self: spend more time perusing personal ads.
As we all know, getting older is inevitable, and beauty fades away. The Bible tells us instead to concentrate on our relationship with God and allow Him to renew our hearts and minds.
But yet, why do we pay so much attention to beauty, even as believers? Anyone who says that looks aren't important to believers probably hasn't participated in any "Christian" dating events.
We tell ourselves that what's inside is what really counts... Yet we torture ourselves to try to look as good as we can, for as long as we can... And we often find ourselves gravitating to the best-looking (at least, in our eyes) people... As Christians, we are supposed to be better than that. But how?
* Do you ever think about what will happen when your own looks fade, or, if you marry someone you find to be good-looking... what will happen when they don't look as good to you (or everyone else) anymore?
* What are you thoughts about trying to hang on to youth and beauty as it fades away? (Many people don't just see it as vanity, but rather, trying to hold on to their spouse.)
* What do you do to remind yourself to look at another person's inner beauty, rather than concentrating all your attention to the outside?
As I get older, I know that I sometimes struggle more with trying to define the boundaries between self-care and self-preservation. Do any of you?
I would love to hear your feelings in response to these questions and anything else having to do with the topic of looks.
Please feel free to post your thoughts... and let your inner beauty shine.
The basic reason why most men seek out a wife and a long term relationship is to have a family... This is basic 101 kind of information..
Woman who are young and fertile have the best chance to successfully bring a pregnancy to term and have a healthy baby.. This also is basic undeniable information..
Men have an inbuilt ability to know if a woman is young and firtile and thus men will always try to establish a relationship with that kind of woman.. Because deep down the vast majority of men want to be dads and establish a family..
Now woman instinctively know this and so they spend so much time and effort making themselves look young in the hope it will make them look more fertile and thus attractive.. Of course men can see though most of this deception.. Men know what a young fertile woman looks like.. No amount of pasting on make up and skin products and pretty clothing will fool a man into thinking that an older infertile woman is young and fertile.. So for a lot of woman all that extreme effort is a waste of time.. In fact if a woman is trying too hard it send a signal to men that she is infertile..
Now some men are not looking for a mother of their children.. For what ever reason some give up on having a family or have already had Children so they are more accepting of older woman to form a relationship.. But they are less in number then the men who still want to be dads..
So for woman who want a man as a husband the key is to get the best man you can when you are young and fertile.. That's when you are going to be at your best in attractiveness to most men.. If a woman wants a man she should have one by the time she is 27 because from that moment on her youth and fertility will begin to decline and so will her options in men.. If she waits till her mid to late 30's then her options will be drastically reduced..
Most men who want to be dads see a mid 30's woman to be a high risk candidate for starting a family with.. So most men of any quality will look past the mid 30 woman and will be looking for a woman in her 20's.. Unless of course he does not want kids.. Sadly many woman in their mid 30's are seeking a husband because they know their biological clock is ticking and they need to find a husband to obtain a dad for the baby they are seeking to have.. So their desire to find a dad for their kids is at it's highest when their chances of finding a dad for their kids has drastically declined..
So many of these woman get into relationships with men who will not commit.. And are put into distress and when they push the matter the men break off the relationship and move on.. Because the man does not want to try to have a family with that woman..
I know this is probably hard reading for some.. But it is the real world situation and woman should realize that and younger woman should be made aware of this situation and factor this into their plans accordingly..
how many are there??
note to self: spend more time perusing personal ads.
I'll be the first to admit, the personal ads we get here in Singles are 10 times more interesting than anything I ever write!
(I think we should start a thread in which everyone is required to write a personal ad... Our married partners-in-crime could write about what their own married lives are REALLY like... and give us singles a cold, hard splash of reality.
)But... I'm pretty sure that writing a thread consisting of EVERYONE writing a personal ad... would get me stoned within the first 10 minutes. (Not that this has ever stopped me before
, but it's probably also against the rules. )
I understand what you're saying, Adstar, but I'm so glad that God doesn't decree that women need to find a man by age 27 or their attractiveness and use to men, and society, is over.
At one time, when I was younger, yes, I did want a family... and I did have a husband... Who, when I was 25, took up with a 19-year-old instead (gotta grab 'em while they're young and fertile, after all
), and divorced me for her. I had every hope of remarrying and perpetuating the dream of having a family, but for whatever reason, God had other plans. When I hit 36, I let go of the dream of having a family, and to be honest, I believe God replaced that with different dreams. (Yes, I know about Abraham and Sarah but I'm not a Hollywood celebrity and have no interest in starting a family in my mid-40's.)
If I find someone to live out these new dreams with, great; if not, I'm sure God will send the resources and people I need to achieve whatever it is He has for me.
I do realize that to a lot of men, I'm a dried-up old prune who would be of no use to them, lol, but thankfully, God doesn't see me that way.
A post such as yours also makes me ever-more thankful for the great guy friends I do have in my life, who don't see a woman's only value as being a young, fertile baby machine.
I met my Husband when I was 27, got married when I was 29, had my first baby at 35 and my second at 36. I was the one who wanted the babies asap he didn't.
We can't lump people into categories. We all have our own thoughts and feelings about marriage, babies and everything in general.
We can't lump people into categories. We all have our own thoughts and feelings about marriage, babies and everything in general.
These people are also all dead, too.. 
Hey Everyone,
Just for a minute, consider these pictures:
Now I know everyone has their own style and personal taste, but in general... These people are pretty doggoned good-looking--after all, they were paid vast fortunes in an industry that worships looks.
But, what happens when, as the Bible says, beauty fades away?
(Please give me a minute. To make this easier to read, I'm going to break this up into two posts.)
H
Hellooo
Guest
Your perception of the real world is skewed from everyday reality.
People find love at all ages, it's not a function of fertility.
These people are also all dead, too..
The third one, Jan-Michael Vincent, is still living (he's in his 70's), and, as we talked about in other posts, has a wife who married him late in life (he was married a few times) long after his looks and money were gone. She's still with him and takes care of him.
I would have chose more recent celebs, such as from my "own" time period (like Kirk Cameron and New Kids on the Block), but thought these were better examples of what I wanted to illustrate.
I'd read some time before Elizabeth Taylor died that the young people of the current generation thought she was "just some old lady in a wheelchair who hangs out with Michael Jackson". They only knew her from current tabloid photographs and so it was interesting to me that most didn't know how stunningly beautiful she had been when she was younger.
M
Miri
Guest
I will have to run this by my friend who is 51, and her fiancé who is 52.
They met last year, are madly in love and are getting married in May this year.
Then there is the elderly lady from my last church, she got married in her 70s to
a man she met years ago when she was in her 20s. They lost touch and she thought
he was killed in the war. Then they found each other again and both were pensioners
when they married.
H
Hellooo
Guest
If we think about the fertile thing in reverse, does that mean love and romance just fades in your 40s and 50s? Has that been the experience for you, adstar?
I could be wrong, but I think a lot of people don't even realize they're "letting themselves go"--it's just everyday life. I had a time in my life when I was caring for someone else's two young children, and I caught a small glimpse of what parents must go through. I don't think I worked out for at least a year--I never had the time or energy. I was stressed out all the time, and always worrying about how I was going to afford things for the kids. I also soon learned why it can be so much easier to just run through the McDonald's drive-thru or boil up a boxed macaroni and cheese dinner, because by the time I got off work and picked them up, the last thing I wanted to think about was making dinner.
If I had continued along that path, I'm pretty sure I would have let my health slide right into oblivion because at the time, I didn't even realize it. I was just trying to get through what needed to be done every day.
I could be wrong but I think so many people get caught up in taking care of their families or what needs to be done in life, the last thing they think about is spending any time on themselves.
Why yes, Lynx, this thread is about aging.
And if you keep going with comments like this, Mister, your shelf life is creeping closer and closer to expiring.
I know how life can be. We all have our bad days, weeks, months, even years. But when it gets into the 4, 5, 6 year time frame, time for therapy. There is a root there that needs to be addressed. Better yet, time to avail Jesus maybe like they have never done before.