What Kind of Daughter Can God Trust With One of His Sons?

[tourist]

Ive never heard of Gods Nature and Christ Nature. Why are they not the same thing?

They are exactly the same thing.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

Ive never heard of Gods Nature and Christ Nature. Why are they not the same thing?

Most people haven't heard of most things. The Bible uses language that we don't understand (ie. Aramaic, Hebrew, Greek) as well as language that we don't understand (ie. spiritual language, metaphors, allegories, parables, riddles, rhetorical speech).

I like to say,"Not everything is written in the Bible, but everything is contained in it." That means that while the Bible doesn't objectively write about every topic in it and in existence (as that would requires many books that would fill up many libraries), the Bible does contain every topic in it between the lines or, as I like to say, "beneath the Pages". This is why the Bible often will take say 1,000 pages worth of writing and will condense it into one page, leaving it to the Holy Spirit to unfold that one page into those 1,000 pages.

Think about a flash drive. A 16GB flash drive can hold 300,000 pages of Word documents ('Word documents'; a coincidental play on words). That makes it so you don't have to carry 300,000 pages of documents around and just need that little flash drive. This is how the Bible is written. An average Bible has 1,200 pages. God took hundreds of millions of pages worth of information and condensed them into 1,200 pages because humans can't walk around with hundreds of millions of Bible pages. Along with that flash drive or condensed Bible that we call the Bible, God gave His Holy Spirit who is the only one able to unfold 1,200 pages into hundreds of millions of pages. He is the only one who can interpret 1,200 pages into the hundreds of millions of pages they really are. So, while the Bible overtly talks about two natures-- carnal/fallen nature and the Christ Nature-- the Bible also contains two other natures. Here the four of them are in simple explanation:

1. 'The God Nature': All living things have this Nature. It is the Nature in people that makes us decent and moral. Our conscience is from the God Nature to know what is good and what is evil (not the 'extra knowledge' lucifer offered for the same purpose, because Adam and Eve already knew what was good and what was evil). This Nature allows us to do good things that we take for granted such as caring for our family, our kids, our friends, etc. It allows us to have general regard or love for other people. This Nature is found in animals as well who take care of their young, etc. This Nature makes people naturally courteous and respectful of others. It is why even the worst criminals and people on this planet are still able to do 'good'. Without this Nature, none of us would be living as it is the 'spirit' in us that makes us operate at all (animals included).

2. The Fallen/Carnal Nature: at the Fall in Eden, we received 'a new nature' which is what the NT often refers to as "the carnal man" or "the natural man". In trying to explain the spiritual way God speaks (eg. condensing hundreds of millions of pages into 1,200 pages), Paul-- talking to believers and about believers only-- said, "The carnal man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned" (1Corinthinans 2:14). This is simply saying that you can be a christian all you want, but you still have a carnal man inside you and that to the extent that you 'remain' or 'walk' in the carnal man rather than in the Sprit, to that extent you will not only be able to understand God, His ways, and what He says but you will also think they are stupid and nonsensical. (I have to write a post about this.)

3. The lucifer Nature: I call this "the lucifer gene". When you come across a real narcissist or a Jezebel (because a narcissist is a secular Jezebel and a Jezebel is a religious narcissist (they're one and the same)), you are coming in contact with someone who has the lucifer gene. The Bible also talks about this but in spiritual language. People aren't born with this gene but 'acquire it' through free will. This is a spiritual gene (just like the other three are) and gives its 'owners' the same two foundational attributes that lucifer has: they hate God, and they hate human beings. Psychiatry, which always negates anything metaphysical or spiritual, is still trying to figure out NPD and its fellow warriors (ie. sociopathy, psychopathy, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder). Whereas the God Nature naturally makes people peaceable with others (as God is towards humans), the lucifer nature/gene makes people predatory and at war with others. In Luke 18, Jesus told a parable "to the end that men always ought to pray and not lose heart." In the parable, Jesus chose a judge with the lucifer nature/gene in order to draw a very stark contrast between him and God (ie. the judge was 'by nature' invested against doing the right thing for the widow but still did it; therefore, God who desires to do the right thing will certainly do it). Jesus mentioned only two things about the judge which are the two foundational stones for lucifer and everyone who has the lucifer nature: "There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man." To the Jews who wanted to kill Him, Jesus said, "You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning" (John 44). People who have this gene are usually beyond the reach of God's Grace (2Peter 2 and Jude).

4. The Christ Nature: this is the Nature that believers are told to 'put on'. Initial salvation doesn't mean one has the Christ Nature. Just like the lucifer nature, it must be taken up by free will (whereas the God Nature and the Fallen/Carnal Nature were simply 'inherited'). This Nature enters those who are born again and grows in those who are purposely being sanctified routinely.

So, everyone is born with the God Nature and the Carnal Nature. Some people choose (though they rarely know what they're doing) to pick up and put on lucifer (ie. the lucifer nature), and some people choose to put on Christ (the Christ Nature). The lucifer nature attaches to the Carnal Nature whereas the Christ Nature attaches to the God Nature. The Bible doesn't mention the God Nature and the lucifer nature because it's not necessary for salvation. The two natures that play the biggest part on this planet for good and evil are the Fallen Nature (for evil) and the Christ Nature (for good). Those are the two the Bible focuses on because the God Nature doesn't need to be understood (since everyone has it and it's normal) nor does the lucifer nature (because ratio-wise, few people have it).

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

They are exactly the same thing.

They aren't. One of the reasons the Bible doesn't dive deep into things is because people are prone to mishandle things. All animals have the God Nature (it is what makes people and animals decent, good, loving, kind, etc., because, as James said, everything that is good comes from or is in God). But animals can't and don't have the Christ Nature. lucifer and his angels used to have the God Nature but lost it at their own Fall. The God Nature literally mends or keeps things 'glued together'.

Hebrews 1:3 says, "The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of His nature, upholding all things by the word of His power." While we know that 'natural laws' (like physics and gravity) hold things together, the thing that actually holds all things-- including the laws of physics and of gravity-- together is the power of God's Word. From there is what holds humans and living beings together; it is God's goodness and His Nature. If God removed this Nature from human beings, animals, Creation, we couldn't exist without it.

Genesis says God formed Adam's physical body from the ground and then "breathed into his nostrils the breath of life" which then made Adam become "a living soul" (2:7). That breath breathed into Adam was spirit and came from God. God molded the body, but He breathed a part of Himself into it. That part is what powers all life (human, animal, etc.), and in it is God's Nature. It's important to know that "Nature" here as I use it doesn't mean that people are like God. But it does mean that God breathed some of His Nature into people which manifests in all the good and decent qualities people and animals have (eg. protecting the weak, regard for fellow species, peaceable rather than destructive, love for one's offspring, etc.). These good things in people and animals came from somewhere; they came from God's Nature (or His character). In Romans 12:6-8 Paul lists seven character traits that God happens to give to all men at conception (or before) which are not only for christians but for all men. These particular character gifts/traits are meant to be each person's foundational motivation in life; and God being the Creator chose to make these seven traits seven facets of His own Nature/character: prophet/perceiver, giver, encourager/exhorter, leader/ruler, servant, teacher, and mercy/empath.

If you take time to observe your kids or the kids of someone you know, and you place them side by side with the traits of each of the seven motivational gifts, you will begin to realize that each child has one distinct foundational motivation all contained within those seven gifts. You will see this every time. There is very purposeful design. You can observe distinct personalities even in animal siblings too, but I'm not saying they get character gifts. I don't know a designer who designs something himself and doesn't leave his signature on it (ie. doesn't design it with his own hands and character in it). God did that when He designed the world and, especially, humans of whom alone He said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness" which basically means, "Let us make man like Us." That "like Us" is God's Nature and is what makes people good and decent. Then there is the Christ Nature. After the Fall, the Carnal Nature entered and the God Nature was not designed to 'save us'. This is saying it in plain terms.

If you don't understand this, just ask God for understanding. I barely understand it myself because no one can understand it with their own intellect. The Bible is written in such a way to a.) deter people from arrogance and b.) to 'force' people to trust God to reveal, open, or unfold it to them for meaning and understanding. And if you think this is something, you should read my response to TheNarrowPath where I talk about the four different natures that humans have and can have. If you just look past the wording and push aside any bias, you'll see that it's not only true but that it makes perfect sense and explains some things that haven't been explained yet.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

Well, I'll probably get some more "fan mail" (yeah, that was sarcasm) for what I'm about to say because some people seem to have the "gift" of misconstruing everything that I say and actually mean, but here goes:

"Femininity" is very attractive to me as well.

I get that women have been abused and denied certain rights or privileges throughout history, and that many women have therefore adopted a sort of "hard" or "fend for themselves" sort of mentality, but if I find a woman who is "soft" (NOT as in being a pushover or a doormat), then my inclinations are always to protect and care for such a woman, and never to possibly hurt her or dominate her in any way, shape, or form.

Anyhow, that's just me being me...come what may.

If God hadn't designed men to be attracted to women and vice versa, then we wouldn't be.

Men find natural/genuine femininity ravishing, and women find natural/genuine masculinity... how should I say it? Exhilarating. No matter what each side might say (it's usually women who are hurt from some thing or another who deny their natural attraction to men). It's in our design.

I believe there are two foundational problems with heterosexual romantic relationships:

1.) The Wall of Hostility between both sexes that makes them distrusting and competitive against each other.

2.) God designed heterosexual romantic relationships in such a way that they only work optimally when both the man and the woman are joined to God (ie. to Christ). This is a fact, and where the Wall frustrates relationships from a negative standpoint, God's Design frustrates them from a positive one.

I said the above in response about fending for a woman who is 'soft', etc. It's just not that simple anymore because of the Fall, the Wall, and God's Design-- God's Design having been contravened by the Fall and the Wall. It's now a tangled mess. But God can give anyone the wisdom to untangle it and make it all right.

 

[Live4Him3]

But God can give anyone the wisdom to untangle it and make it all right.

I agree, but this is one of the saddest truths of all truths.

In other words, I honestly don't believe that it's difficult for a man to truly love his wife as Christ loves the church or for a woman to truly reverence her husband as the church reverences Christ IF they both simply seek to fulfill THEIR OWN ROLES, by God's accompanying and more than sufficient grace, within that relationship.

Instead, sad to say, it seems to me that too many men are focused on what women are or aren't doing and vice versa.

It truly breaks my heart...

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

I agree, but this is one of the saddest truths of all truths.

In other words, I honestly don't believe that it's difficult for a man to truly love his wife as Christ loves the church or for a woman to truly reverence her husband as the church reverences Christ IF they both simply seek to fulfill THEIR OWN ROLES, by God's accompanying and more than sufficient grace, within that relationship.

Instead, sad to say, it seems to me that too many men are focused on what women are or aren't doing and vice versa.

It truly breaks my heart...

People who are looking out for number one don't concern themselves with finding out what they're supposed to do for someone else.

The fact is that in the fallen/carnal nature, faithfulness, a desire to be submitted to or please someone else besides self, and monogamy are unnatural. Yet, marriage calls for the things that are unnatural for carnal people. Basically, all non-christians live carnally. But most christians live carnally as well. There's a very small reservoir left of believers who have denied their carnal nature (ie. denied themselves) and have chosen to not try to live right while dragging along their fallen nature or try to marry and be faithful when the carnal nature in all people is hostile to both marriage and faithfulness.

God supplies Grace to people who need it. At this point in time, the carnal way of life is the only one that is promoted everywhere, so it's the only one most people chase. At work, the men are like little kids or high schoolers at best. Their self-centered blindness and immaturity is astonishing. Furthermore, most of my clients are women. Whether they're married or single or engaged, they will flirt with me (because they can tell that somehow they don't exist to me). They'll do this in front of their man; the more interested they are, the more he disappears into the nothing. It blows the mind, but this is honesty when living carnally. No one matters but yourself.

There isn't enough Grace (ie. God's Presence) among christians for Jesus to show up and for people's hearts to change. The Bible says, "With great power the apostles gave witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great Grace was upon them all" (Acts 4:33). There isn't enough righteousness stirring among christians for Jesus to show up break their hearts and bring them to repentance so that Grace (His Presence) can be on them. It is that Grace that enables people to not want to live carnally, to want to seek to find and honor their roles in marriage and other relationships, etc. Until God intervenes, people will do what people naturally do which is to 'pursue what benefits me, not what benefits you'.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

I'm a very open and honest man, so I'm definitely not trying to evade the first part of this question. It's just that there are so many different variables involved in the correct answer to this question that it might literally take me a lifetime to properly answer this. If I had to try to sum it up in a short statement, then I'd say that God is much more concerned about our eternal destinies than he is about us experiencing a "comfortable ride" during this temporal life. In other words, in order to properly prepare us for eternity, God will oftentimes need to deal directly and even severely with our hearts. Sometimes those dealings will come in the form of healings and deliverances, and other times those dealings will come in the form of rebukes and corrections. Without going into any specific details at the moment, I can honestly say that God sought to deal with both me and my ex in both of these areas on a daily basis in order to properly prepare us for the world to come.

At my end, there were some areas of both sin and inner wounds that weren't fully dealt with in my life until God REALLY turned up the heat. The Bible calls such things "fiery trials", and, like gold that is purified in the fire, God exposed a lot of dross in my life/heart through what I experienced in my marriage. BELIEVE ME, my trials were EXCEEDINGLY HOT...to the point that I literally despaired of life at times. In fact, I recall driving alone in my car one day on the highway while sticking my head out the driver's side window, looking up towards heaven, and literally screaming "ENOUGH!!!"

They say "If you can't stand the heat, then get out of the kitchen". Thankfully, I stayed in my fiery trial until the time came that God had removed the dross that needed to be dealt with, and until the time came that my ex ultimately cheated on me repeatedly and then divorced me. I'm a much better man now than I was when I first entered into my marriage covenant, and, as fiery as my trials were, God never released me from the same until the time came that my ex cheated on me and divorced me herself. There are a lot of people, including some people on this very website (based upon their own testimonies that I've read) who seem to believe that there are a host of different acceptable reasons to procure a divorce, but I vehemently disagree. Anyhow, divorce isn't the topic being discussed here, but I felt the need to just mention that anyway.

To this part of your question, I would also add that my marriage affected a lot of other people's lives as well that God wanted to do works in. I could greatly elaborate on this point while giving many different precise examples, but I won't. Of course, my marriage also resulted in three precious children being born, so there's their lives to consider as well.

Marriage isn't just about snuggling on a sofa while sipping hot chocolate and watching a Hallmark movie. If anybody wants a realistic view of marriage, then I would heartily recommend that they just read their Bibles from cover to cover. In other words, as I've rightly stated many times on this website before, God's covenant with his people is likened to a marriage covenant all throughout scripture. If anyone reading this thinks that THAT "marriage" was/is all fun and games, then I honestly question their sanity. Marriage is messy, and it's definitely not for the weak-minded. I'm NOT trying to make it sound like all gloom and doom because it isn't, but it's no day at the beach either...unless we're talking about a scene from the movie "Jaws"...lol.

This part of your question is much easier to answer.

Ultimately, my marriage failed because, despite all of the healings and deliverances which God had wrought in my ex's life, she ultimately didn't want to live the type of self-sacrificing Christian life that Christ calls each and every one of us to. It was NEVER an issue of me telling her things to do that she didn't want to do. Instead, it was definitely and always an issue of her not wanting to do the things that God himself was showing her to do.

There were many times throughout our marriage that my ex came to me and told me of either a dream, or vision, or word that the Lord (not me) had given her. On every such occasion, I knew that it was the Lord himself who had told her or shown her the things that she was hearing or seeing. It simply wasn't what she wanted, and she ultimately renounced Christ/Christianity while trying to destroy me continually throughout the ongoing process. In other words, rather than just be honest with the Christian community that we were then a part of, my ex sought to demonize me continually (as in multiple times every single day for many years) as one who was guilty of both domestic violence and multiple accounts of child abuse. In fact, she ultimately pressed such phony charges against me in a court of law, and I needed to appear in court to defend myself. I was found to be totally innocent of the charges, but my ex ultimately got what she wanted. In other words, the gullible/undiscerning "church", including more than one "pastor" (read: HIRELING), helped her tremendously during that whole ordeal (she fleeced them for all sorts of monies and other material goods) while they all shunned me as if I was Satan himself.

Anyhow, as crazy as this sounds, my ex actually cooked me dinner last night...so go figure. There's definitely no chance of reconciliation between the two of us, but we're quite amicable now (as in now that she got everything that she truly desired), and I still pray for her daily. Her home is littered with all sorts of idols, and she's into all sorts of Eastern demonically-inspired religions, and she regularly takes Jesus' name in vain now. It's horrifying to watch, but she has her own free will.

I'm still trying to reach my own children who were caught up in this whole mess and greatly turned away from Christ/Christianity (especially my two daugthers...my son wasn't as swayed as his sisters were) in the process. Just last night, I had the privilege to speak to one of my daughters for about 30 minutes on her necessity to receive Christ as her own Lord and Savior. BELIEVE ME, while we were still living together as a family, I taught my children on every topic imaginable from the Bible, so they're no rookies when it comes to knowledge of the same. Anyhow, I'd rate our conversation last night somewhere around the 50/50 mark. In other words, there were some things that I shared with my daughter that she agreed with and others that she vehemently rejected. As I said before, marriage is no joke...especially if children are involved.

I hope that this somewhat answered your questions.

Sorry that happened to you. There are way too many nightmare stories like yours out there. My friend has two boys and one girl. Her two boys made up their minds for God; her daughter made up her mind for the world. If I could, I would definitely pray, "Lord, please give me only sons." But you can't pray that, so the only type of daughters I want would be of the same disposition as Job's second batch of daughters: Jemimah, Keziah, Keren-Happuch. They were strikingly beautiful both inwardly and outwardly. "In all the land were found no women so beautiful as the daughters of Job; and their father gave them an inheritance among their brothers" (Job 42:15). I do not want anything less, and if I have to go through a lot of suffering, it's worth it for daughters like those. Otherwise, please no daughters at all.

Marriage isn't easy, no. I've heard all the downsides and negative aspects of marriage and of everything else, but I always look for the answers and solutions. Before I met God, I was a pessimist; when I met God, I became an optimist; now, I'm a realist. Most of my clients at work are women. Some are married. I get to see the ugly side of women on a near-daily basis when these women are willing or eager to cheat on their husbands and boyfriends (not that they say it, but "most communication is nonverbal" and women communicate nonverbally far more than men do). I know the bad news very well. But there is good news too.

Are you waiting or looking for another wife, hoping to get back with your ex, or just taking things a day at a time?

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

This is pretty hard to explain in words (but I understand it in my heart), but I'll try (and probably fail terribly in properly explaining it).

In a very real sense, I'm still a teenager in my heart. In other words, I still have that pure type of desire to just be with a woman and know what is in her heart without all of life's complications and baggage piled on top of it. When I perceive that I've found someone who is simply kind or tender-hearted, then I find that extremely attractive. Again, this attractiveness is much more a heart or spirit connection than it is anything outward in nature.

Although I'm quite sure that many people, certain women especially, don't view me this way, I'm truly a man who is not the least bit interested in strife. I simply desire to just love a woman while sharing our hearts openly with each other. In today's world, where people have experienced all sorts of hurts, and in which many people have erected walls in their hearts to protect themselves from more of the same, it's not easy to find what I'm actually looking for. That said, I'm definitely NOT opposed to finding a woman who has past hurts while trying to help her through the same. In fact, I spent the bulk of my marriage attempting to do just that with my now ex even while she was seeking to destroy me continually. At the same time, if a woman won't let me into her heart, even if in slow increments over a period of time, then I lose all interest in her because she's not willing to let me know who she really is.

Anyhow, whether anybody reading this believes it or not (not that I think most people even care), I'm truly all about matters of the heart.

I'm finding them just by living my life in this world daily. Sometimes I might find such a woman while at work, or on social media, or even right here on this website (I've privately interacted with quite a few women here).

It's the actresses that really bother me.

If there's anything that I absolutely ABHOR ("hate" isn't strong enough of a word to describe it), then it's pretense or superficiality. Why people even bother to engage in the same is a bit of a mystery to me. I honestly believe that such people are sick in the head, but that's just my personal assessment. I mean, why even bother playing games with somebody? Again, to me, it's sick, and I've encountered some people like that right here on this very website and plenty more elsewhere.

So great is my ABHORENCE of pretense that I actually designed the hoodie pictured below which depicts a man walking away from pretense, and I purchased it for myself a while back in order to let women know to not even bother playing games with me:

View attachment 242187

Anyhow, I hope that this answers your questions.

I was going to screenprint some shirts and hoodies and hats in the early 2000s but decided not to. One of them was 'I Wasn't Put On This Planet to Please Women'. It was a response to the attitude that was constantly in my face.

Through the years, I used to envision God asking me, "Caleb, what do you want?" My answers changed over time, but my response finally settled on "I just want to be happy." And that's what everyone wants, but what do I mean by 'happy'?

However you define 'happiness', I believe it begins in living out the person you were created, designed, destined to be. It implies 'fulfillment, satisfaction'. Much of it has to do with genuinely loving yourself and enjoying your own company. Free. But purpose should be a man's primary focus. Purpose makes a man 'happy'; everything else after that is meant to be an addition to his purpose:

"Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you will be happy, and it will be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD" (Psalm 128).

The Bible has a way of speaking facts without explaining. Psalm 128 says/shows that a man's purpose (the labor of his hands) is what is meant to make him happy (fulfilled). (This is why God had Adam work, fulfilling his purpose, before He brought Eve to him.) His wife then comes next, and after that his kids. This applies to all men and applies to you. You have a soft heart for women, but your purpose should come first. Your purpose makes you happy (content, fulfilled) and also makes you attractive to women-- all types of women-- and you will have to exercise wisdom when/if choosing.

I said in another thread that our bodies, souls, and spirits compensate for each other when one is lacking. Our spirits are usually what lacks most among the three. When the spirit is filled, the soul and body aren't as hungry (or 'thirsty'). But when the spirit isn't satisfied (God alone can satisfy the human spirit), then we have to compensate in our souls (eg. entertainment, sex, attention and affection from the opposite sex, etc.) and in our bodies (eg. food, exercise, sex, etc.). I see most women as sisters and sometimes friends because my spirit is satiated. I'm drawn to something far greater, and women pick up on it when men are 'thirsty' for them or when men are focused on some [unknown] purpose. A man's life isn't about women. Like Adam, if a man focuses on his purpose, God will bring him a woman. But also like Adam, if the man starts focusing on the woman and her so-called needs, their ship is definitely headed and destined for the rocks.

Don't worry about how women view you. Their views are basically never stable, and their emotions are constantly changing. Furthermore, people in general are fickle:

"Now when [Jesus] was in Jerusalem at the Passover, during the feast, many believed in His name when they saw the signs which He did. But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men, and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man" (John 2:23-25).

I don't know what to tell you. I've seen and heard many horror stories. I'm planning to 'do this the right way'. You abhor pretentious people; I hate wasting time.

 

[Live4Him3]

Are you waiting or looking for another wife, hoping to get back with your ex, or just taking things a day at a time?

There's no chance whatsoever of my ex and me ever getting back together. She hates Christ, Christianity, and Christians like me by extension.

What am I looking for?

Just a simple date with a woman who isn't pretentious during which we did something that was of genuine interest to both of us (whatever that might be) would be nice. If anything ever came on the tail-end of that, then I'd certainly consider more of a long-lasting and committed relationship.

I can't seem to get past the pretentious part, though.

Why people just can't be honest is mind-boggling to me.

I honestly feel sorry FOR THEM, and it's actually quite offensive to me.

If you don't like me, then just say so.

As hard as this may be for you or others to believe, if someone was to ask me who the top three people who I know AND RESPECT are, then I'd honestly give out the names of three people who have told me to my face that they can't stand me. I can respect honesty, even if I disagree with what the other party is honestly telling me. Contrariwise, I ABHOR people who sweet-talk me while something totally different is truly in their hearts.

It is what it is.

I can only be open and honest myself. Whatever others choose to do is entirely up to them. I really do believe that pretentious people are sick in the head.

Why live your life as an actor or actress?

You're only fooling yourself in the end, and you might genuinely hurt someone via your deceit.

Turning this back to the topic at hand, I'd just like to encourage every man or woman reading this to just be honest with people that you interact with.

Last I heard, honesty is the best policy...and especially for professing Christians who claim to follow the one who is "the Truth" (John 14:6) personified.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

As hard as this may be for you or others to believe, if someone was to ask me who the top three people who I know AND RESPECT are, then I'd honestly give out the names of three people who have told me to my face that they can't stand me. I can respect honesty, even if I disagree with what the other party is honestly telling me. Contrariwise, I ABHOR people who sweet-talk me while something totally different is truly in their hearts.

Not hard to believe. In 2002, I was talking by phone to a pastor friend of mine. He was at a restaurant and got angry at what I was telling hin. He excused himself from the table, stepped outside, and told me, "If you ever talk to me like that, I will come over there and kick your ass!" The 'me' in me almost responded, "Pick a place and a time and let's do it." Instead, I hung up with a sense of relief. This was the first time this pastor had ever been transparent, and I felt good though he'd cussed at me.

You should ask God to give you discernment so you can see beneath people's pretensions and know behind what they want you to know. That way, you won't have to rely on people to tell you what you what they're like or what they're up to. Instead, you'll be able to pick it up with your spirit. It may sound too simplistic, but if you ask God for this type of discernment (ask and keep asking) and your motives are right, God will begin to give it to you (you might not notice it at first or/and it might begin very slowly). Here's a story about a time when God gave me something like this that I asked for:

It was several years ago, and my best friend was a new christian and had a lot of zeal for God. My zeal had worn off, so one day we were talking about it. He told me, "You have wisdom, and I have zeal." I told him, "I want what you have, and you want what I have. So, let's both pray: you pray for me to get what you have, and I'll pray for you to get what I have." It made sense to us, so we began to pray from that day. No more than two weeks later, I suddenly realized that I had the same zeal my friend had. But two things happened with him: he didn't get the wisdom he wanted from God, and a few years later he totally lost his zeal for God and abandoned his walk with Christ. The difference between him and I-- the reason I received what I desired and he didn't receive what he desired was based on our heart motives. I wanted zeal so I could have the motivation I needed to pursue God; but he was inclined towards self-glory or using his gifts and whatever he had to make himself look good, therefore, God didn't give him wisdom to squander on himself. Ask God to give you the discernment to see through people's surface, exterior, facade.That way, you'll be able to make good and wise decisions about relationships without having to wait and see if the person is real or fake. You'll begin to pick up on what type of person you're dealing with, even during initial interactions. The cliche "First impressions mean everything" will fly the coop, and you'll have a far better chance of finding a godly spouse if that's what you're looking for.

 

[Live4Him3]

Not hard to believe. In 2002, I was talking by phone to a pastor friend of mine. He was at a restaurant and got angry at what I was telling hin. He excused himself from the table, stepped outside, and told me, "If you ever talk to me like that, I will come over there and kick your ass!" The 'me' in me almost responded, "Pick a place and a time and let's do it." Instead, I hung up with a sense of relief. This was the first time this pastor had ever been transparent, and I felt good though he'd cussed at me.

You should ask God to give you discernment so you can see beneath people's pretensions and know behind what they want you to know. That way, you won't have to rely on people to tell you what you what they're like or what they're up to. Instead, you'll be able to pick it up with your spirit. It may sound too simplistic, but if you ask God for this type of discernment (ask and keep asking) and your motives are right, God will begin to give it to you (you might not notice it at first or/and it might begin very slowly). Here's a story about a time when God gave me something like this that I asked for:

It was several years ago, and my best friend was a new christian and had a lot of zeal for God. My zeal had worn off, so one day we were talking about it. He told me, "You have wisdom, and I have zeal." I told him, "I want what you have, and you want what I have. So, let's both pray: you pray for me to get what you have, and I'll pray for you to get what I have." It made sense to us, so we began to pray from that day. No more than two weeks later, I suddenly realized that I had the same zeal my friend had. But two things happened with him: he didn't get the wisdom he wanted from God, and a few years later he totally lost his zeal for God and abandoned his walk with Christ. The difference between him and I-- the reason I received what I desired and he didn't receive what he desired was based on our heart motives. I wanted zeal so I could have the motivation I needed to pursue God; but he was inclined towards self-glory or using his gifts and whatever he had to make himself look good, therefore, God didn't give him wisdom to squander on himself. Ask God to give you the discernment to see through people's surface, exterior, facade.That way, you'll be able to make good and wise decisions about relationships without having to wait and see if the person is real or fake. You'll begin to pick up on what type of person you're dealing with, even during initial interactions. The cliche "First impressions mean everything" will fly the coop, and you'll have a far better chance of finding a godly spouse if that's what you're looking for.

Excuse the soon-coming emoticon and my plainness of speech, but I know that they're full of right from the get go.

I just said that they're pretentious.

I didn't say that I wasn't aware of it.

My "problem" is that I hang around too long while giving people opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to just come clean WITH THEMSELVES.

Sad to say, they never do.

It is what it is.

 

[TheNarrowPath]

Sorry that happened to you. There are way too many nightmare stories like yours out there. My friend has two boys and one girl. Her two boys made up their minds for God; her daughter made up her mind for the world. If I could, I would definitely pray, "Lord, please give me only sons." But you can't pray that, so the only type of daughters I want would be of the same disposition as Job's second batch of daughters: Jemimah, Keziah, Keren-Happuch. They were strikingly beautiful both inwardly and outwardly. "In all the land were found no women so beautiful as the daughters of Job; and their father gave them an inheritance among their brothers" (Job 42:15). I do not want anything less, and if I have to go through a lot of suffering, it's worth it for daughters like those. Otherwise, please no daughters at all.

Marriage isn't easy, no. I've heard all the downsides and negative aspects of marriage and of everything else, but I always look for the answers and solutions. Before I met God, I was a pessimist; when I met God, I became an optimist; now, I'm a realist. Most of my clients at work are women. Some are married. I get to see the ugly side of women on a near-daily basis when these women are willing or eager to cheat on their husbands and boyfriends (not that they say it, but "most communication is nonverbal" and women communicate nonverbally far more than men do). I know the bad news very well. But there is good news too.

Are you waiting or looking for another wife, hoping to get back with your ex, or just taking things a day at a time?

SonsofCaleb do you work in psychology or law?

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

Excuse the soon-coming emoticon and my plainness of speech, but I know that they're full of right from the get go.

I just said that they're pretentious.

I didn't say that I wasn't aware of it.

My "problem" is that I hang around too long while giving people opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to just come clean WITH THEMSELVES.

Sad to say, they never do.

It is what it is.

Okay, so you know they're full of it. So, ask God for the discernment that doesn't let you hang around people who are full of it. Lol. I said this tongue-in-cheek but it's also true.

It's one thing hanging with a coworker who is charismatic but has a dark streak; it's another thing entirely catching him beating his wife and yelling at his kids when you pull up to pick him up for the guys' night out. Discernment can pick up on that dark streak... and it can also pick up on the type of person he is behind closed doors without seeing him beat his wife and yell at his kids, without even knowing he has a wife and kids.

When I know someone is full of it, my discernment immediately 'goes for more'. "What else do I need to be aware of about this person?" And there's always more. That 'more' helps me to disassociate myself from the person. Without it, I'd just see them as someone who overly exaggerates. Discerning deeper is the difference between "He's just a liar" and "Oh, he's a malignant narcissist."

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

SonsofCaleb do you work in psychology or law?

Neither.

I couldn't do psychology because modern psychology restricts people from discovering, acknowledging, and following any psychology that the system finds uncomfortable. It's too confining and might allow you to find a problem but ties your hands when it comes to fixing the problem. No deal. Psychology is supposed to a.) find problems and b.) fix problems. It's not doing that.

Law was one career I wanted to get into because I enjoy finding and presenting evidence so vast that even detractors can't gainsay it. But I couldn't do law because I want to focus my energies on other things and have law (along with several other things) be just one part of the whole.

After college, where I learned nothing, I checked out architecture and real estate development too, and that really was the closest to what I wanted to do, because I believe there is no overpopulation but that, rather, populations are concentrated in certain areas (large cities, etc.) and therefore new towns and cities should be built in remote locations (like Nevada, Wyoming, Arizona, North Canada, etc.) so people can disperse and populations be more stable.

I strongly considered business consultation because it comes naturally to me to find what is wrong (or what isn't working efficiently), find the reasons why, find the answers, and implement them.

In college, I also wanted to do journalism or investigative journalism for a while. When I found that a journalist's story has to work through 'an editing process' and that the news and papers report what they report, not necessarily the facts or stories their journalists find, I abandoned that. I do very much appreciate the average journalist's genuine desire to find the fact, because truth is so hated these days.

I'm now looking forward to working with psychologists, lawyers, journalists, architects, real estate developers, business consultants, grocery stores, farmers, car dealerships, restaurants (and others) towards a central goal instead of having a career in any one particular field.