What Kind of Husband Do You Want?
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I think it needs to be said, that if I learned some truth about myself, womanhood, relationships, and most importantly about God through reading SonsOfCaleb's threads then surely that is a good thing and not something to be offended or mocked over? That his posts have brought me closer to our God that I long for is not a bad thing, surely?
And Im not a woman that hates other women. I think what he had to say can only raise women up if they take away the Im offended part and replace it with Okay Im going to try and understand the point hes trying to make.
Can we pray on this please?
And Im not a woman that hates other women. I think what he had to say can only raise women up if they take away the Im offended part and replace it with Okay Im going to try and understand the point hes trying to make.
Can we pray on this please?
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It's a great thing if you've gotten something out of his posts, Narrow. Every post here is written to different audiences, and not everyone will get something positive out of every post.
You are one of the few people he is actually conversing with -- and that's great! -- but he's cut it down to only a couple people in his threads that show interest in or back up his ideas. Anyone else gets dismissed as ignorant and he apparently then puts them on ignore. He is only interested in his own point of view, and finding others who will support it.
That's just not someone I can learn from or put a positive spin on. To me, it would be like trying to throw air freshener into a trash dump.
I understand what you are saying and I appreciate your sweet heart.
And there are plenty of people who might say the same things I'm saying right back about me, and I understand and accept that.
But the way I see things as someone who has grown up in church culture all my life, there are a lot of... different ideas out there... and there are some I choose to call out. There is understanding and trying not to be offended, and then there is discernment. There are some things we all choose not to take in as acceptable -- kind of like the guy a little while back who was adamant about saying that single mothers are the "handmaidens of Satan."
People will say all kinds of things "in the name of the Lord," and we all have our limits as to how far we will agree with them, or let them go on without at least stating our own experiences or points of view.
And it's not always because one person is right over the other, but rather, part of the purpose of a public forum is to be able to see things expressed from a variety of perspectives.
You are one of the few people he is actually conversing with -- and that's great! -- but he's cut it down to only a couple people in his threads that show interest in or back up his ideas. Anyone else gets dismissed as ignorant and he apparently then puts them on ignore. He is only interested in his own point of view, and finding others who will support it.
That's just not someone I can learn from or put a positive spin on. To me, it would be like trying to throw air freshener into a trash dump.
I understand what you are saying and I appreciate your sweet heart.
And there are plenty of people who might say the same things I'm saying right back about me, and I understand and accept that.
But the way I see things as someone who has grown up in church culture all my life, there are a lot of... different ideas out there... and there are some I choose to call out. There is understanding and trying not to be offended, and then there is discernment. There are some things we all choose not to take in as acceptable -- kind of like the guy a little while back who was adamant about saying that single mothers are the "handmaidens of Satan."
People will say all kinds of things "in the name of the Lord," and we all have our limits as to how far we will agree with them, or let them go on without at least stating our own experiences or points of view.
And it's not always because one person is right over the other, but rather, part of the purpose of a public forum is to be able to see things expressed from a variety of perspectives.
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Just because God uses something (or some one) dies not elevate them. God used a donkey, doesn't mean that donkey, or any donkey, was anything special. It means God used what was available to teach a lesson. At the end of the day it was just another jackass, no different than any other. So that idea that if God uses a jackass to teach you raises its value is a falsehood.
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This got me thinking about why I don't answer "What are you looking for?" threads very often. In this case, I think the OP has me on ignore (which is perfectly fine and I understand,) but it seemed pointless to answer a conversation I was blocked out of, so I didn't want to answer out of respect for the OP.
The other reasons I don't usually answer these types of threads are because:
1. We have so many of them on a regular basis that I want to spare people the boredom of reading my answer every time!
2. I don't know about anyone else, but I've found in the past that it seems like if you say what you like in a man, either people will argue with you over what you like (judging it to be wrong,) or men will start comparing themselves with what the women are saying and wind up feeling unnecessarily discouraged and hopeless.
Here's a good example: I've found a good friend on CC whom I really enjoy talking to about the world of finance, because it's an interesting subject I've been into my whole life, but much more seriously the past year. I never had anyone to talk to about this before except family, and it's really nice to have a friend to compare notes and research with.
Now if I were to say something like, "I'm looking for a man who knows the difference between mutual funds, index funds, and ETF's!" it's likely going to get two reactions: 1. People will tell me I'm evil for learning about such things, and 2. Men might think they have to know about those things in order to talk to a woman, and that's absolutely not true.
One of the things I appreciate about my CC friend is that he understands where I'm coming from and we both have similar motivations -- we want to use what God gave us to help other people. It's like the parable of the talents -- if God gave you a talent and you're able to expand it, you then have more to help other people with.
But everyone's talents and giftings are different, and there are a ton of things I like about my guy friends.
One is really good at tech, and what's even more of a blessing is that he knows how to teach people about it without talking down to them. I told him that if I had had teachers like him in school, I might have gone into tech as a career.
Another guy friend of mine is really blessed in business. Amazing, actually, and I enjoy hearing about his strategies on how to expand and improve what he's already doing.
I have another guy friend who speaks two languages, and I'm always asking him to spend part of the conversation speaking his other language, even though he just has to repeat everything to me again in English!
Now am I somehow looking for a guy who actually has ALL of these qualities?! It would be nearly impossible to find, and I understand that. I don't want any guy to read my posts and think, "Wow. So that's what I have to be in order to attract a woman." Not at all.
In fact, I didn't even know how much I'd like these qualities until I met men who have them, and the most attractive quality all of that these guys have in common is a Godly character. It's what makes them so hard-working and humble, and that's to me, that's ALWAYS attractive.
The truth is, I can't really stick to a "list" of what I'm looking for because God has crossed my path with awesome people with a plethora of different qualities I admire (and envy!), so my "definition" of what I "like" is ever-changing.
The way I see it, there might be some guy out there who has yet another quality I never even knew I liked until I was around him, and who knows, maybe God will hit me over the head with a holy hammer and finally tell me, "PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THIS ONE, Seoul!!!"
The other reasons I don't usually answer these types of threads are because:
1. We have so many of them on a regular basis that I want to spare people the boredom of reading my answer every time!
2. I don't know about anyone else, but I've found in the past that it seems like if you say what you like in a man, either people will argue with you over what you like (judging it to be wrong,) or men will start comparing themselves with what the women are saying and wind up feeling unnecessarily discouraged and hopeless.
Here's a good example: I've found a good friend on CC whom I really enjoy talking to about the world of finance, because it's an interesting subject I've been into my whole life, but much more seriously the past year. I never had anyone to talk to about this before except family, and it's really nice to have a friend to compare notes and research with.
Now if I were to say something like, "I'm looking for a man who knows the difference between mutual funds, index funds, and ETF's!" it's likely going to get two reactions: 1. People will tell me I'm evil for learning about such things, and 2. Men might think they have to know about those things in order to talk to a woman, and that's absolutely not true.
One of the things I appreciate about my CC friend is that he understands where I'm coming from and we both have similar motivations -- we want to use what God gave us to help other people. It's like the parable of the talents -- if God gave you a talent and you're able to expand it, you then have more to help other people with.
But everyone's talents and giftings are different, and there are a ton of things I like about my guy friends.
One is really good at tech, and what's even more of a blessing is that he knows how to teach people about it without talking down to them. I told him that if I had had teachers like him in school, I might have gone into tech as a career.
Another guy friend of mine is really blessed in business. Amazing, actually, and I enjoy hearing about his strategies on how to expand and improve what he's already doing.
I have another guy friend who speaks two languages, and I'm always asking him to spend part of the conversation speaking his other language, even though he just has to repeat everything to me again in English!
Now am I somehow looking for a guy who actually has ALL of these qualities?! It would be nearly impossible to find, and I understand that. I don't want any guy to read my posts and think, "Wow. So that's what I have to be in order to attract a woman." Not at all.
In fact, I didn't even know how much I'd like these qualities until I met men who have them, and the most attractive quality all of that these guys have in common is a Godly character. It's what makes them so hard-working and humble, and that's to me, that's ALWAYS attractive.
The truth is, I can't really stick to a "list" of what I'm looking for because God has crossed my path with awesome people with a plethora of different qualities I admire (and envy!), so my "definition" of what I "like" is ever-changing.
The way I see it, there might be some guy out there who has yet another quality I never even knew I liked until I was around him, and who knows, maybe God will hit me over the head with a holy hammer and finally tell me, "PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THIS ONE, Seoul!!!"
You never mentioned equities, options (puts or calls) or the CBOE (commodities)
I like playing futures at times....but I'm not exactly single either.
Currently there's nothing really to play....if there is it's not something that I know much about...we are in a recession and most plays of the Market are done at the moment. Except for shorting and inverse plays.
Midstream oil is done too.
But on a more serious note....
A better set of questions that never gets answered are:
What do you bring to a marriage relationship that has value to everyone?
How do you plan to support your spouse?
What do you enjoy giving on a regular basis?
What detractors do you have (baggage) that you hope a spouse can overlook?
Marriage is more than an equal partnership. It's an "I am we and we are I".
Ya gotta be more than pretty furniture with an ongoing expense for food, debts, obligations, clothing, and a list of demands where you will be critical of every thing the other person brings to the table.
And that's a huge thing that singles don't seem to understand.
What kind of life are you wanting to build with another person?
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Hi John,
I don't want to take away from the most excellent list of questions you've given -- I agree that they are absolutely necessary for us to ask of ourselves.
But I also couldn't resist the chance to "talk a little shop" back at you. Now, I'm just a toddler in this arena, so go easy on me!
I'm very boring, pretty much vanilla as vanilla can get when it comes to the market. Blue chips, dividend aristocrats (preferably kings,) index funds (leaning towards the S&P 500,) and a buy-and-hold strategy are all my jam. A few covered calls here and there, but I hate to lose good companies so I'd often have to choose strike prices so high that it's hardly even worth it. Puts seem too risky to me, at least for now. I don't want to be walking on pins and needles watching the days go by until expiration, which is what I know I would do. At least with a covered call -- providing you're going for a strike price above your cost basis -- you know it's going to make money if it goes through.
I'm not really interested in much else, but I'm still learning. Futures? Is it true that they can only be traded on margin? (Borrowing money.) I am conveniently allergic to borrowing money and paying interest on it (including buying anything that can't be paid off immediately on a credit card,) and will only do so in life-and-death situations (or big-ticket purchases that go beyond cash at hand.)
Truthfully, I know someone who works at a big corporation and has seen a lot of co-workers lose pretty much everything trading on margin, so it's something I told myself I would NEVER do -- but I know everyone has their own risk tolerances. Me, I'm a big chicken.
I'm amazed that anyone buys mutual funds anymore -- ETF's seem like such a better deal. I wish there were more teachers like Warren Buffet and Charlie Munger around -- I want to encourage the young YouTubers, but they're all trying to find the next Amazon, reviewing companies that haven't even hit profitability yet. I want to listen to the guys who've had 40, 50 years of experience in the markets, not 2.
Give me a boring old reliable over the flashy newbies anytime.
Shoot, maybe this is a metaphor for what I'm looking for in a guy as well?
Anyway, sorry for the totally random, off-topic post, and thanks for the conversation.
I don't want to take away from the most excellent list of questions you've given -- I agree that they are absolutely necessary for us to ask of ourselves.
But I also couldn't resist the chance to "talk a little shop" back at you.
Now, I'm just a toddler in this arena, so go easy on me! I'm very boring, pretty much vanilla as vanilla can get when it comes to the market. Blue chips, dividend aristocrats (preferably kings,) index funds (leaning towards the S&P 500,) and a buy-and-hold strategy are all my jam. A few covered calls here and there, but I hate to lose good companies so I'd often have to choose strike prices so high that it's hardly even worth it. Puts seem too risky to me, at least for now. I don't want to be walking on pins and needles watching the days go by until expiration, which is what I know I would do. At least with a covered call -- providing you're going for a strike price above your cost basis -- you know it's going to make money if it goes through.
I'm not really interested in much else, but I'm still learning. Futures? Is it true that they can only be traded on margin? (Borrowing money.) I am conveniently allergic to borrowing money and paying interest on it (including buying anything that can't be paid off immediately on a credit card,) and will only do so in life-and-death situations (or big-ticket purchases that go beyond cash at hand.)
Truthfully, I know someone who works at a big corporation and has seen a lot of co-workers lose pretty much everything trading on margin, so it's something I told myself I would NEVER do -- but I know everyone has their own risk tolerances. Me, I'm a big chicken.
I'm amazed that anyone buys mutual funds anymore -- ETF's seem like such a better deal. I wish there were more teachers like Warren Buffet and Charlie Munger around -- I want to encourage the young YouTubers, but they're all trying to find the next Amazon, reviewing companies that haven't even hit profitability yet. I want to listen to the guys who've had 40, 50 years of experience in the markets, not 2.
Give me a boring old reliable over the flashy newbies anytime.
Shoot, maybe this is a metaphor for what I'm looking for in a guy as well?
Anyway, sorry for the totally random, off-topic post, and thanks for the conversation.
I could be wrong, but I don't think Narrow is at all thinking that she was mocked, but rather that my posts were seen as mocking the OP, and is asking for understanding and tolerance for him instead.
I understand her concern and I admire her wanting to do right.
But I also choose to stand by what I wrote.
I do apologize though if I have somehow misunderstood Narrow's post.
I understand her concern and I admire her wanting to do right.
But I also choose to stand by what I wrote.
I do apologize though if I have somehow misunderstood Narrow's post.
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Hi John,
I don't want to take away from the most excellent list of questions you've given -- I agree that they are absolutely necessary for us to ask of ourselves.
But I also couldn't resist the chance to "talk a little shop" back at you. Now, I'm just a toddler in this arena, so go easy on me!
I'm very boring, pretty much vanilla as vanilla can get when it comes to the market. Blue chips, dividend aristocrats (preferably kings,) index funds (leaning towards the S&P 500,) and a buy-and-hold strategy are all my jam. A few covered calls here and there, but I hate to lose good companies so I'd often have to choose strike prices so high that it's hardly even worth it. Puts seem too risky to me, at least for now. I don't want to be walking on pins and needles watching the days go by until expiration, which is what I know I would do. At least with a covered call -- providing you're going for a strike price above your cost basis -- you know it's going to make money if it goes through.
I'm not really interested in much else, but I'm still learning. Futures? Is it true that they can only be traded on margin? (Borrowing money.) I am conveniently allergic to borrowing money and paying interest on it (including buying anything that can't be paid off immediately on a credit card,) and will only do so in life-and-death situations (or big-ticket purchases that go beyond cash at hand.)
Truthfully, I know someone who works at a big corporation and has seen a lot of co-workers lose pretty much everything trading on margin, so it's something I told myself I would NEVER do -- but I know everyone has their own risk tolerances. Me, I'm a big chicken.
I'm amazed that anyone buys mutual funds anymore -- ETF's seem like such a better deal. I wish there were more teachers like Warren Buffet and Charlie Munger around -- I want to encourage the young YouTubers, but they're all trying to find the next Amazon, reviewing companies that haven't even hit profitability yet. I want to listen to the guys who've had 40, 50 years of experience in the markets, not 2.
Give me a boring old reliable over the flashy newbies anytime.
Shoot, maybe this is a metaphor for what I'm looking for in a guy as well?
Anyway, sorry for the totally random, off-topic post, and thanks for the conversation.
I don't want to take away from the most excellent list of questions you've given -- I agree that they are absolutely necessary for us to ask of ourselves.
But I also couldn't resist the chance to "talk a little shop" back at you.
Now, I'm just a toddler in this arena, so go easy on me! I'm very boring, pretty much vanilla as vanilla can get when it comes to the market. Blue chips, dividend aristocrats (preferably kings,) index funds (leaning towards the S&P 500,) and a buy-and-hold strategy are all my jam. A few covered calls here and there, but I hate to lose good companies so I'd often have to choose strike prices so high that it's hardly even worth it. Puts seem too risky to me, at least for now. I don't want to be walking on pins and needles watching the days go by until expiration, which is what I know I would do. At least with a covered call -- providing you're going for a strike price above your cost basis -- you know it's going to make money if it goes through.
I'm not really interested in much else, but I'm still learning. Futures? Is it true that they can only be traded on margin? (Borrowing money.) I am conveniently allergic to borrowing money and paying interest on it (including buying anything that can't be paid off immediately on a credit card,) and will only do so in life-and-death situations (or big-ticket purchases that go beyond cash at hand.)
Truthfully, I know someone who works at a big corporation and has seen a lot of co-workers lose pretty much everything trading on margin, so it's something I told myself I would NEVER do -- but I know everyone has their own risk tolerances. Me, I'm a big chicken.
I'm amazed that anyone buys mutual funds anymore -- ETF's seem like such a better deal. I wish there were more teachers like Warren Buffet and Charlie Munger around -- I want to encourage the young YouTubers, but they're all trying to find the next Amazon, reviewing companies that haven't even hit profitability yet. I want to listen to the guys who've had 40, 50 years of experience in the markets, not 2.
Give me a boring old reliable over the flashy newbies anytime.
Shoot, maybe this is a metaphor for what I'm looking for in a guy as well?
Anyway, sorry for the totally random, off-topic post, and thanks for the conversation.
Look at an ETF by the ticker "JO"
I made a mint off of it. But the season is over....it's high....might go higher but likely is going to fall.
Then there's COLD and BOIL for various NG plays....you don't have to borrow anything. I certainly don't.
Options are for buying....you buy them but don't sell them unless it's at a profit. And the only money you can lose is the amount you purchased if you let them expire. Timing is everything and lots of predictive charts make you think that you can predict the future....but what you are really doing is predicting other people's irrational behavior. As it is I don't play options. Too many variables I never learned to track. Of course I learned trading when you used a telephone and graph paper too. Complicated algorithms were never a part of what I learned.
The rules have changed since I last played....but I've updated myself and things move so fast that it's a full time job to track things now.
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"I think it needs to be said, that if I learned some truth about myself, womanhood, relationships, and most importantly about
God through reading SonsOfCaleb's threads then surely that is a good thing and not something to be offended or mocked over?"
Thank you Seoul and Lynx, and yes, the defense of OP was unmistakable, though sentence structure sure made it look (to me at least) like they were saying they had been mocked for learning something about herself, womanhood, relationships, and God etc... from OP's threads.
God through reading SonsOfCaleb's threads then surely that is a good thing and not something to be offended or mocked over?"
Thank you Seoul and Lynx, and yes, the defense of OP was unmistakable, though sentence structure sure made it look (to me at least) like they were saying they had been mocked for learning something about herself, womanhood, relationships, and God etc... from OP's threads.
