What should you know before marrying!

  • Thread starter Thread starter MynameisDavid
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Donkeyfish07 said:
Sorry for the double post here but it was too late to edit. I think it's an important example. Where I grew up, coal mines has always been the lifeblood of the economy but it is very hard and dangerous work. This one particular guy (he is grown now with his own kids) had his parents suffer an unfortunate accident when he was only 15 years old, right before his 16th birthday. He had 4 siblings all younger than him. The state would have managed to split the entire family up if he didn't figure something out quick so he somehow managed to get improper ID that said he was an adult....dropped out of school and went into the coal mines.

He then raised every single sibling on his own, completely by himself working 12 hour days....6 days a week with only sundays off and still got them on the bus every morning and took the whole family to Church on Sunday. That guy was a better man and better Christian than not only myself, but practically every other full grown man I know in real life and this is when he was only 16. Young age doesn't always mean that the person is incapable or of questionable character/competency.
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I don't think that's the issue here. The issue is who's going to listen? What you said is true though, great insight is not limited to anyone or any age. It just takes a lot more faith to listen in on the advice from someone who doesn't have the experience. The OP has pinpoint discernment in relation to the contrast between the Holy Spirit and the flesh. But the problems lay within how one is going to exercise the self control to not act in a destructive manor in the heat of the moment, because this is about human relations and how to handle them. How to manage an argument, how to handle conflicts, which are things that come forth regardless of having a map in your hands or not. Something as simple as a bad day can really spiral out of control in a household. Knowing how to approach someone after a conflict, knowing how to prevent something small from getting out of control, these are the make or break scenarios, not just in marriage, but in relationships in general.

Also I don't think the kid who went out to mine for coal would advise anyone to do the same before doing it himself. I bet he stayed to himself, was quiet and listened diligently to who ever directed him in his duties. I bet he blocked everything out and focused on the task at hand since so much was at stake. Which is completely different than giving marriage advice in my opinion. One is handling human relations, the other is about taking a step in faith in the face of fear. One requires you to be still and listen before taking a step, the other requires you to only speak.

So yeah I don't think the OP needs to take offense, it's not as if anyone is saying what he said was incorrect or wrong. Just skimming through what he said, he has pin point discernment in relation to the contrast between the Holy Spirit and the flesh....It's just a strange stance that he took on the topic. That's all.
 
Grace-Like-Rain said:
You make a good point David. Thank you for sharing all of this with us. There is wisdom in what you put together in your OP. You will hopefully make a great husband someday. :)
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I completely agree with this. With what he put together in his post it definitely sounds like he's serious about this topic and would be a thorough mate.
 
David, as you have offered good biblical wisdom for marriage, I applaud you. You have also acted the cactus for being called out on your age, and for that I would like to offer some perspective.

I have spent hours studying issues too, and many, many hours reading and studying about marriage in particular (and have seventeen years of firsthand experience). I have learned that when God teaches me something, I need to apply it to myself first before trying to teach others. In what looks to me like a simple lack of wisdom, you seem to have overlooked an important reality: because of your age, you will not likely be sought out by people for advice on marriage (unless you are in a formal pastoral role).

If the Lord has truly called you for such a task, you won't need to broadcast either your calling or your preparation. He will bring to you those to whom He wants you to minister. You need not seek an audience for that which God has planted in you. That is His job. Consider Proverbs 18:16 and Proverbs 27:2.

By all means, continue to study and share, perhaps with a tone more like "Hey here's what I've found about this topic" rather than the tone of "Thus sayeth the Lord". Take Paul's admonition to Timothy as encouragement for your own heart, not as a weapon against others. A little humility goes a long way, brother. :)
 
David, I hope what you posted helps someone who is engaged or even someone who isn't. I'm sure when you get married someday you'll see that marriage you go through different stages, sort of. Well some of us do, the first year, which I actually thought was pretty tough, then you have a baby stage, (if you should chose to have a child), prepare yourself for lack of money and sleep and then it's the middle age I'm tired and my back hurts stage.

Okay, I made those all up, but anyhow, I wish you the best, thanks for sharing.
 
Good post. I think your wrong if you believe i wasn't humble in my post. If my post comes off as not humble because I named my title, then the apostles would probably have some issues lol. But the way you attempted to correct me is a biblical way, therefore as I read, I had an open heart. People underestimate people because they are young, and this underestimation doesn't come from God, therefore I think the scripture of timothy being warned of underestimation fits perfectly as a biblical correction. Also stay away from the belief that you have to apply something to your life first, before teaching it. Paul taught about marriage and didn't marry. Now if your talking about correcting others, then yes you must turn away from your sin before correcting someone away from theirs. matthew 7:1-5
 
Hmm
Two ppl become one flesh so if you hurt him/her mezns you hurt yourself. Accept hi/her in all conditions you hv, spending your life together, raised your children together, sharing tears n laughter together, encourage n support each others, apply christianity values :)
 
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