What to do??
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Ugly
Guest
Before you worry about meeting ladies, how solid are you at being a person worth a lady giving you her attention? Whats your goal? Marriage? How sure are you you would be a worthy husband? Think you'd be good? Based off what? Like most people, chances are you have quite a bit to learn. Thats not meant as an attack or insult, but look, 50%+ Christian marriages end in divorce. Obviously people think they know when they don't. Something to think about is all.
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Ugly
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Though i will give you some advice you can count on, if you want to start meeting women.
'welcome foo!' is a great way to turn a woman off when first meeting her. Women don't wanted to be treated like one of your buddies. They want to be treated respectfully. Or at least any woman worth having. Any woman who doesn't want respect from men, probably isn't the right kind to begin with.
If you seriously want to be involved with a woman, you have to talk to her better than you do anyone else. People think when they get close with someone its ok to say whatever they want, however they want. And its true. If you don't care about losing that person. But if you want to keep that woman in your life, you have to treat her like you want her in your life. You should be able to see a strong, obvious difference in how you talk to her vs anyone else. And that shouldn't change when your buddies are around, because you're too macho or cool to be seen talking with love and respect to your spouse or GF. If you aren't man enough to step up to your buddies who may give you a hard time, you don't deserve her, or any woman, for that matter. Just some more to consider.
'welcome foo!' is a great way to turn a woman off when first meeting her. Women don't wanted to be treated like one of your buddies. They want to be treated respectfully. Or at least any woman worth having. Any woman who doesn't want respect from men, probably isn't the right kind to begin with.
If you seriously want to be involved with a woman, you have to talk to her better than you do anyone else. People think when they get close with someone its ok to say whatever they want, however they want. And its true. If you don't care about losing that person. But if you want to keep that woman in your life, you have to treat her like you want her in your life. You should be able to see a strong, obvious difference in how you talk to her vs anyone else. And that shouldn't change when your buddies are around, because you're too macho or cool to be seen talking with love and respect to your spouse or GF. If you aren't man enough to step up to your buddies who may give you a hard time, you don't deserve her, or any woman, for that matter. Just some more to consider.
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Jullianna
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brokenxangel
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jajaja im military and thats exactly how you meet the ladies! I personally use " Sup yo!". In the end though it depends on your attitude after the fact. Where i grew up in San Antonio Texas, that is the normal meet and greet! doesnt mean im in any way a disrespectful or bad person! I followed what I thought to be my soulmate sent from God Himself....but i made the historically bad mistake of judging the book by its cover! My now ex wife cheated on me. I thought she was good...God blessed us with two kids! My point is be yourself in front of a lady weather your a " sup foo" or " sup yo" or "howdy ma am"...so she doesnt have to pretend either! ANd who knows ...the ladies may like it "like that" jaja! God Bless hermano!
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Jullianna
Guest
Howdy brokenxangel! I'm from San Antonio too orginally 
All kidding aside, I'm not much of one for learning relationships from books, other than THE BOOK as Oncefallen put it. Get out there and spend time with women, make friends with them as Stuey said. We're really not as mysterious as a lot of guys seem to think.
All kidding aside, I'm not much of one for learning relationships from books, other than THE BOOK as Oncefallen put it. Get out there and spend time with women, make friends with them as Stuey said. We're really not as mysterious as a lot of guys seem to think.
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brokenxangel
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oh yea i totally agree Juliana! i have ADHD so imma bundle of bouncing energy i have no problem entertaing ladies! i love to talk and listen! they usually have to put a leash on me and tie me to a pole lol...jk! i am very social!
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brokenxangel
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Ugly
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You actually just proved what i said. I didn't say women couldn't be met that way. I said 'any woman worth having' wants to be treated respectfully. And you proved me right by going on to explain how your marriage ended.
And 'sup foo' has an inherently negative connotation to it. Essentially, calling someone a fool. I know its just supposed to be funny, slangy and not genuinely an insult. But, i also know i've spent the past 20 years learning to read people, watching people, listening to people, reading about people, reading about psychology, having made close friendships with a number of women coming from broken marriages, observing what women say they want... then i've taken what i've learned and tried putting it into practice... looking at the ways i've behaved in relationships in the past... and comparing how my actions lined up to what i learned. Finally, one day i put into practice what i learned.
What i learned will forever change how i treat someone i am in love with. I learned women love to laugh, thereby loves a man with a sense of humor... but women don't like to be the target most of the time. Sure, sometimes you can tease about something, long as you're sure its not something they're sensitive about.
Women love to be talked to respectfully. I'm not saying you have to speak perfect english and treat them like royalty. But they like to know you care enough to make some effort in what you say, and how you say things to them. Speaking out of anger or frustration should rarely happen. Learning to accept her faults and not getting angry over them is part of loving her. And if you find that sometimes you have a difficult time, then you need to figure out what to do about it that doesn't include taking it out on her.
Compliments. Women love them. They may deny it, but keep it up, every woman wants that special man to tell her shes beautiful, amazing, strong, intelligent, talented, special, and anything else about her thats positive.. and true.
And the great part is, it doesn't require you to not be yourself. I can be myself, and still do all these things, finding my own ways to say them. But better than that, i've stopped learning how to say them ... and be myself ... and learned to make saying them a part of who i am. Because i've found that when i have those feelings for a woman, i want to do my best for her. To be my best for her. And show her the best side of me. And let her know i only focus on the best sides of her. I've put all this into action, and it works. I've been amazed at how well it works. So while i think of myself as the same goofy idiot i've always been, yet because how i treat her, she in turn treats me just as amazingly.
So feel free to think that marriage and meeting women is about 'hey dude' and just treating them like anyone else. Think about that while you remember how it didn't work once in your life. No insult intended. But really, perhaps consider doing what i did. Stop assuming, as a man, you know what women want, and find out from THEM. So far, the few women to hit this post have been in agreement with what i''ve had to say. I'm not trying to sound like i know it all. But i have learned a lot.
Lastly i'll add.... soulmate.... no biblical foundation for the concept. Nothing in the bible leads to the idea of one person made for another, outside of Eve. In fact, the origins of soulmates are in ancient pagan beliefs. Thats where the idea started, not with the bible.
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brokenxangel
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you live and learn right? get off your high horse and come join us normal folk who expierence life!
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brokenxangel
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i dont like u...you seem to like pointing out ppls flaws and then saying " no insult intended" . You must be one flawed individual...step back take a look then rejoin the normal society.
Hi Likethat,
Just be yourself, don't pretend to be something other. Everybody gets nervous, remember don't rely on what the world calls confidence, for the child of God, God is our confidence.
Pray wisdom and courage.
Phil
IF you knew Ugly, you would know that he is a man that has a great heart. Yes, he is typically quite direct with his opinions and he knows this, so he often uses the disclaimer "no insult intended" so that people will know where his heart is since text is a very imperfect form of communicating intent and he has been very misunderstood in his intent of saying something in other threads. Personally I admire his ability to put his opinion out there without beating around the bush.
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brokenxangel
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i was being quite direct to. i didnt beat around the bush either. being judgemental is being judgemental. he tried to psyco analyze me from his high horse. negative ghost rider just cuz im a little hardened then most doesnt make me flawed. if your not gonna beat around a bush..make sure its the right bush at least. im a christian ive been in war zones in afghanistan so to have someone sit there and try to analyze why my marriage didnt work...cuz i use words like yo sup to a female which is not disrespectful...not happening . and i appreciate the warning 
To the OP. Although I have nothing against reading books on relationships (I have read a few) they are all imperfect. They can give a general understanding of the major differences between the genders, however they will all be missing the specific intricacies of your special someone. Although a book may give you tips on how to overcome your particular awkwardness with ladies, the only way you will fully overcome it is to get out there and interact with them.
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Ugly
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Hey broken. Sorry if you mistook my post for being 'high on the horse' or judgmental. I wasn't meaning anything like that. I was just trying to help. Even the comment about your marriage was not intended to be attacking or insulting. I was just using it to make a point. Perhaps it was a bad judgment call, and sorry again if it offended you.
I think real world experience is more beneficial than books. Although they do help some people so no harm in trying? But I agree with Ugly's post.
I agree with OnceFallen.
Just get to know him before being resolute. Forgiveness & love for our brothers & sisters.
I agree with OnceFallen.
Just get to know him before being resolute. Forgiveness & love for our brothers & sisters.
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brokenxangel
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I apologize for jumping the gun so to speak. Ive got so many mixed emotions right now they seem to get mixed up! Patience and prayer will get me thru this ordeal!
L