What's the best way to go about meeting a man?
- Thread starter SalomePortman
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The problem I see with this is that pursuing a relationship has far more potential risk of falling into sin than looking for a house. Yes, all idolatry is a serious matter, however there seems to be more serious implications potentially that God warns us about when it’s to do with romantic relationships. Although, thinking about it, covetousness if anything is a very serious matter ...
Unfortunately that's what a LOT of people I know have made of a potential future spouse.
Strange, that... jobs and housing are more important, but people don't seem to idolize them. Finding a spouse is much more optional, but something people fixate on a lot more.
Now I'm wondering why people don't idolize jobs and housing more. Thanks a lot cinder.
Maybe they do and we just don't realize it because we consider them essential for survival. Not saying that people shouldn't pursue these things or that God making someone capable of working for things and supporting themselves by their work is not under the umbrella of God providing. But its easy to be tempted to compromise morally to make more money or get ahead in your job. I'm sure there are similar temptations with housing but I'm still a new homeowner so about the only one I can think of off the top of my head would be something along the lines of skimping on tithing so you can spend more on home improvement projects.
Agreed. Butterfly--there are good people, but also bad people posing as good people online. I think places like Match /Tinder / Plenty of Fish don't screen people very well--maybe Eharmony is better--I still think it's better to get out and join different activities-especially faith based. But we do need to be pro-active and thinking about our lives, just like you do with your careers. We don't want to let it overwhelm everything else, but the bible says "He who FINDS a wife, finds a good thing." We need to pray, but also be strategic and asking ourselves what we want in a partner, a mature Christian from a nice family being number one.
yes that probley is true i am a single girl waiting for the one that God as for me
YOUare right all christians need to put the lord first in all we do
just off topic well not really
I am a bit tired of zoom meetings. At first they are novelty and cool to see everyone virtually but, now am like meh. And again if theres too many people or it goes on for too long, like most meetings, if its too boring I fall asleep.
I dont supoose there are 'man hunting meetings' for the single ladies. I dont get invited to them, just work ones. It doesnt matter what gender you are for those.
The one interesting thing you can do on them is those video filters/backgrounds though. But then it becomes a bit like watching tv, except now twenty peoole are staring at YOUR living room. instead of you simply watching from yours.
I am a bit tired of zoom meetings. At first they are novelty and cool to see everyone virtually but, now am like meh. And again if theres too many people or it goes on for too long, like most meetings, if its too boring I fall asleep.
I dont supoose there are 'man hunting meetings' for the single ladies. I dont get invited to them, just work ones. It doesnt matter what gender you are for those.
The one interesting thing you can do on them is those video filters/backgrounds though. But then it becomes a bit like watching tv, except now twenty peoole are staring at YOUR living room. instead of you simply watching from yours.
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Gojira
Guest
Dating for me has sucked. Meeting members of the opposite sex for the purposes of dating and eventual (possible) marriage has been almost thoroughly denied me... with one, comparatively brief exception in my life.
On March 1, 1998, a Sunday night. I met Dolly through a mutual acquaintance on AOL's IM feature. We chatted for 45 minutes. I asked if she'd like to talk on the phone, she gave me her number. We talked another 45 minutes. I was in NYC at the time, she in L.A. She had two kids. After hearing her voice, the sexiest I've ever heard, and learning that she was a big Godzilla fan, I reasoned that this deserved further pursuit, regardless of anything else. I'll get to know her kids.
We met 3 months later. Within 6 months I was thinking her a keeper. In 2001 I moved to L.A. In 2004, we married.
No regrets, except that we waited too long to get married, and she neglected her diabetic condition and died in 2009.
I am happy to say though that she seemed to get her life right with God during our relationship and, at her request, she was immersed in 2005. I performed it with our pastor's oversight. What an honor.
You didn't ask for all that, but for me the online thing worked -- once. I had one sinful involvement almost 6 years ago with someone I met online (not at all bragging or callous to it, just outlining my history). Made a few platonic friendships, and after 12 years or so online as a single man, that's all I've accomplished.
I would say that God's blocking me from meeting someone and I have a theory as to why. But, too often I hear the same stories from people trying to meet someone virtually, first. I do not believe that the majority of people online are seeking after reality. They're online because it's easier to blow someone off, easier to just delete a connection that ceases to please them, and because being "close" online is more manageable and less scary than reality is. Pathetic, but that's where we seem to be.
I'm not saying you cannot or will not meet anyone via a dating or a chat site. I know people for whom this has worked. I just know a lot for whom it hasn't, and in my experience, it's because most -- not all, but most -- people online are there because they're not really prepared for reality.
You may be better off joining meetup groups (meetup.com) or finding a church with a large singles population, in my opinion.
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Gojira
Guest
Or, it's a matter of spiritual maturity. We're all at different places in our walks, at different levels of sanctification. Job was a sinner and had garbage to work out of his character.
My friends have been setting me up on blind dates as of late. No love connection when I've been out with them. 
You can also try to connect online!
You can also try to connect online!
I'm your friend, Lynx <3
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Gojira
Guest
Let me tell you -- and of course I cannot speak for Lynx -- but a "friend" on the 'net in a virtual medium is not anywhere near the same as one in real life whom you can sit across from in a coffee shop and have face to face fellowship with. And, these virtual kinds of "friendships" are too easily dissolved.
I agree. A friend in real life is easier manageable. But, I've been here since 2015 and still have friends that I am very close with who used to be on here.
Don't discount friendships that can be formed online
They might be the best of friends you've ever met!
I think it depends on a person's personality and preferences. I've been moving around for a long time and have found online friends to be my lifeline over the years.
I had an early, albeit, old-fashioned start with something similar though. I started writing paper letters from the time I could fully write at about age 9. By 15, I was meeting someone I had written to for awhile in person. She just came across the country to meet my family after writing paper letters for, I can't even remember. A year or two? And I went to meet her family as well.
In my 20's, a girl I had been writing since I was about 15 came to visit me -- from Japan. In those days, I couldn't look her up on Google to see if she had a criminal record. All we had was a few years of correspondence, and she brought her best friend with her. We had a blast! And we set the whole trip up with paper letters -- there was no internet, and we didn't even make a single phone call. She just wrote and told me when her flight was coming in, and I accidentally walked past her and her friend at the airport before she flagged me down.
I've been here on CC since 2009, and some of the people here have been my absolute lifeline. Due to moving and family situations, the only real life friends I have are scattered across the country. But I'm also an extreme introvert who has always preferred writing as my primary form of communication.
I guess it all boils down to personality, preference, and opportunity. While I do like going out with people in real life now and then, I'm someone who has learned to subsist on friendships that are sustained almost exclusively by print on screens -- and it hasn't stopped either me or them from occasionally stepping out of The Matrix and into real life, as I've met somewhere from 15-20 people here in real life, with a few more hopefully planned for next year.
It's funny because people have often picked on me incessantly for being a bit of a hermit.
Who knew that decades later, a worldwide pandemic would showcase just how invaluable those tendencies could be. It is always amazing to me how some people thrive in conditions that others would find unbearable.
I really do feel sorry for the extroverts during this time -- they must be going crazy -- but I know that for myself, the close friends I've made here are just as real and valid as the friends I've made in real life, and 9 times out of 10, my internet friends are even more accessible, as they are used to be on call at just the tap of a keystroke.
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Gojira
Guest
You're talking to someone who's been online probably as long as you've been aliveI agree. A friend in real life is easier manageable. But, I've been here since 2015 and still have friends that I am very close with who used to be on here.
Don't discount friendships that can be formed online
What I am saying is that the vast majority of such relationships are not solid. But, for the ones that are, they cannot hold a candle to breathing the same air together.
Also, I define the word "friend" differently than most. A friend is not someone I merely know or accidentally bump into from time to time. It's not even someone I get along with online. A friend is someone I know well, even intimately, and is someone I will make the effort to see in real life, and contact if I have not heard from them.
As someone who's mostly made female friendships online over the past 12+ years, I can tell you that it gets old fast. NOTHING holds a candle to hearing her voice and watching her speak three feet from you. It also says that she's serious about wanting you in her life, platonically or otherwise.
Starting off virtually is fine. But, if that's as far as it goes -- when it is possible to go further -- I blow the people off.
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Gojira
Guest
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Gojira
Guest
Because she doesn't share your feelings on companionship, family, and a Bud
Neither do I. I loved being married... love having someone to come home to every day, love having someone to do things with, and love having sex. Not really a downside there.