Where are all the real Christian men??

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JesusFreak1992

Queen of Hearts
Apr 26, 2022
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Kansas City
Here's another "odd" thought to consider....

I've only been married once and I was faithful to my wife. I considered my marriage a kind of repentance because, as a younger man, I was no saint.

Now, I also consider my divorce "a kind of repentance"... Go figure.
I guess according to alot of people on here you aren't considered available for remarriage also
 

JesusFreak1992

Queen of Hearts
Apr 26, 2022
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Kansas City
aLot of you are very judgmental and don't have forgiveness in your hearts it seems. GOD forgives us of our sins and our misgivings.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,663
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Hi! I’m in my 30’s and divorced. I’m just wondering why I can’t find any true honest loyal Christian men my age?! Are there any out there or all they all into this new age junk?!
Every day I pray for God to help me to be a loving and faithful husband to my wife.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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Well. I married at the age of 21! So yeah I was way young. I have no children thank goodness. I mean I want them but God didn’t give me any with him.
He was five years older than me.
he was emotionally and mentally abusive and then physically two to three times
Thank God that you are no longer with that abusive person.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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The standard answer is to get involved with volunteer work, church would be best. Hang around here for a while and you might bump into some lucky man looking for the same thing🙏💛
You just never know who you are going to meet.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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If he was an atheist, and you a Christian, then why did you have a relationship with him? We are supposed to be unequally yoked!
She had a relationship with him probably because she loved him. I could be wrong but I believe that you meant to say that we are not supposed to be unequally yoked. I have yet to meet anyone who has not made a mistake or two in their life. Believe me, I made my fair share. Being equally yoked does not mean that one will be immune to abusive behavior.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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In my opinion your hope for remarriage lies in the hope that you may yet to be born again by God, and of course it's only He that can do that to you, no man can will it on you..
I would certainly not make the assumption that this member is not a born-again Christian. What is wrong for hoping for a happy marriage one day just because the first one was horrific?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
In real life most people don't ask my permission about such things. And I don't go about soliciting uninvited advice about people's personal lives.

Most people won't care about my opinion on such things unless they get close enough to know me and feel that I genuinely care about them. This would require being part of the local fellowship where we can get to know each other by living life together over time. After they know that I love them and live what I preach will they respect what I say about what the scriptures teach.

People can get good scripture teachings from a Google search. But before people are willing to take advice about their personal lives, they want to know 1) Do you really love them and are willing to find out about their family and all of its problems without judging them, and 2) Do you live what you preach. That takes time. Therefore.... Local fellowship.

When that bond is established and they know you won't gossip about them, then they will ask, and we will pray about their situation and find the best solution according to the scriptures and the will of God. Until then, everyone should just shut up about their unsolicited opinions on that persons eligibility for marriage. That is my approach. And I think I have the Spirit of the Lord.
CC is a chat forum, where there is no vetting of anyone's integrity. Scammers even get in here to work their wiles among us.

Your local church fellowship is the ideal model which sadly is not often available or acted out. Here though, if the person's way of delivering their status or want seems to suggest a shallowness, they have to be challenged. Challenged initially with more innocuous wording than bluntness, but then becoming more blunt if their responses become indignant and mocking. This is necessary to help tease out the person's true spiritual heart status, and warnings sounded if that appears suspect.

There was enough in the OP's original post and subsequent responses, and on other threads she has posted to, that have confirmed my original suspicions. Ideally she should refrain from trying to get involved with a man through CC and go find a church of the model you have articulated, where its members can be protected from each other, as well as helped by each other. In that assembly her true spiritual condition and motivations can be determined, and her needs met within the oversight of the Lord.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,725
9,656
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CC is a chat forum, where there is no vetting of anyone's integrity. Scammers even get in here to work their wiles among us.

Your local church fellowship is the ideal model which sadly is not often available or acted out. Here though, if the person's way of delivering their status or want seems to suggest a shallowness, they have to be challenged. Challenged initially with more innocuous wording than bluntness, but then becoming more blunt if their responses become indignant and mocking. This is necessary to help tease out the person's true spiritual heart status, and warnings sounded if that appears suspect.

There was enough in the OP's original post and subsequent responses, and on other threads she has posted to, that have confirmed my original suspicions. Ideally she should refrain from trying to get involved with a man through CC and go find a church of the model you have articulated, where its members can be protected from each other, as well as helped by each other. In that assembly her true spiritual condition and motivations can be determined, and her needs met within the oversight of the Lord.
You are very good at passing judgment on people... Almost as if you have authority to do so here. You must have a LOT of practice at being judgmental.
 

Hazelelponi

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2019
609
397
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USA
I'm sorry but are you God? Do you know everything? I cannot believe you said my divorce was an evil action. I was ABUSED. How is leaving my abuser an evil action. I'm done fighting with you.
technically, according to Scripture, adultery is the only cause for divorce listed.

It may have not been brought up in Scripture because Jewish men aren't abusive in nature? I don't know but abuse was never brought up in Scripture.

Real abuse occurs, I am disabled for life at the hand of my ex. I walked away because the longer he was in America the more extreme his religious views became, and at one point I knew he would kill me.

He never, however, cheated on me to my knowledge, and I've no reason to think he did.

Since I've been saved I've tried to reconcile the divorce in my heart, but it's not even a possibility to have ever tried reconciliation for me, since I'm not leaving the US, walk into Da'esh territory and ask him if he'd like to reconcile now that I'm apostate.

I just can't think of a quicker way to end my life in a horrifying manner (film to be shown at 5)

So I just settle it knowing God doesn't expect us to be intentionally suicidal.

Not everyone has actually been abused who claims it however, and a lot of divorced people have serious baggage - their previous marriage ended for good reason.

The divorcee dating scene is never good. Even I had baggage, probably more than most. I was a decade single because I couldn't be around men - PTSD - and I had a lot to work out.

It sounds however, like you do too.

There are men I'm sure who would be willing and even happy to care for a wife in poor health, my husband married me with disability knowing I was only going to get worse as I aged. He was just happy for a relationship in his own older age that was based in love and mutual respect.

But if you really were abused, that's a lot to work through, for real. Without all those years single I would have destroyed this marriage I'm in because I was too skittish in the beginning to handle even the thought of another relationship.

Also, that time alone helped me figure out, once I started thinking of marriage again, of qualities in a husband which were important to me considering my personality, and time to really figure out what my shortcomings were so that I could be wholly honest with myself as to what qualities I actually needed in a spouse.

I married the man who ticked every box I deemed important, who I met by random chance... Figure God sent him my way when I was ready for him. :)

You may want to do some soul searching as I did - time and contemplation was the best gift I ever gave myself
 

JesusFreak1992

Queen of Hearts
Apr 26, 2022
240
125
43
32
Kansas City
CC is a chat forum, where there is no vetting of anyone's integrity. Scammers even get in here to work their wiles among us.

Your local church fellowship is the ideal model which sadly is not often available or acted out. Here though, if the person's way of delivering their status or want seems to suggest a shallowness, they have to be challenged. Challenged initially with more innocuous wording than bluntness, but then becoming more blunt if their responses become indignant and mocking. This is necessary to help tease out the person's true spiritual heart status, and warnings sounded if that appears suspect.

There was enough in the OP's original post and subsequent responses, and on other threads she has posted to, that have confirmed my original suspicions. Ideally she should refrain from trying to get involved with a man through CC and go find a church of the model you have articulated, where its members can be protected from each other, as well as helped by each other. In that assembly her true spiritual condition and motivations can be determined, and her needs met within the oversight of the Lord.
I never said I wanted to meet a man on CC. I’m not currently looking for someone on a chat forum
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,663
17,117
113
69
Tennessee
You are very good at passing judgment on people... Almost as if you have authority to do so here. You must have a LOT of practice at being judgmental.
He is trying to vet everyone's integrity.